Orbiting Is Just a Form of Ghosting, Get Over It (2024)

Orbiting Is Just a Form of Ghosting, Get Over It (1)

Illustrations by Jaik Puppyteeth

It seems like everyone on the internet is talking about orbiting. Not astronomy orbiting, but the dating kind. A newly-discovered (or at least named) relative of ghosting. Last year, I wrote about ghosting, so I felt like it only made sense to weigh in on this not-so-shocking development in internet-age dating.

First, a recap: ghosting is when you’re seeing someone and they disappear out of nowhere, stop all contact with you, and essentially *piff* disappear from your life. It can be great for mutual one night flings, but gets to be a little bit troublesome when one person gets ghosted from what they thought was more than a casual hookup. People who aren’t great communicators often opt for ghosting people instead of having a mature and adult conversation about how they’re not interested in continuing seeing you, or go through the months-long saga of letting the budding romance peter out naturally by sending one word “haha” replies to your texts. Ghosters sometimes just want to rip the bandaid off quickly, for everyone’s sake.

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Now orbiting, allegedly, is when someone ghosts you, yet still interacts with you on social media, liking your posts, or watching your stories. They won’t reply to your texts, but they’re still ORBITING in the periphery of your life. (I capitalized it there because it’s like when they say the name of the movie in the movie you’re watching.)

I have some issues with orbiting, as a phenomenon. Essentially, an Orbiter is a ghost you can still see. Some people would kill for the ability to be able to see ghosts. Just because someone did a sh*tty job at ghosting you doesn’t mean they need to get classified into a whole new category. I don’t think it’s as intentional and malicious as it’s being described. I think orbiting is just reading too far into the residual social media connections of a relationship after it’s fizzled out. Just because you can see the Ghost of Hookup’s Past in the corner of your eye doesn’t mean they’re mocking you on purpose. It means they are bad at ghosting. If you get the impression that they aren’t considering your feelings enough to have the decency to ghost you completely, maybe the problem is you.

Orbiting Is Just a Form of Ghosting, Get Over It (3)

It takes a certain amount of ego to take orbiting as a personal attack. There is a balance between someone being inconsiderate and someone being oversensitive. It’s no one’s obligation to reply to your texts. It sucks when they don’t, but maybe they have some sh*t going on and don’t feel like talking to you. Maybe they’re not into you but you posted a cute selfie they double-tapped or watched a story of your dog in the park. Their replying to you is their privilege, but so is their privilege to be able to see what you’re up to, and you can revoke that whenever you want.

Yes, that’s right, there isn’t a complex religious ceremony like an exorcism to rid yourself of lingering ghosts that you feel are haunting you. If being able to see them seeing you is so terrible, just block them. ESPECIALLY if you think they’re actively staying on your radar to f*ck with your head. Why would you want to be dating someone who’s being that manipulative anyway? If you’re worried that blocking them will somehow give them the upper hand, or show they’ve won, who cares? Thinking that way just reifies your participation in the petty game you’ve been tricked into playing. But you don’t have to be playing it at all. I love blocking people. If I am in the right mood and someone posts the wrong thing, boom—the perfect storm. There is no shame in prioritizing your mental health, and it’s honestly destructive to be ignorant of how much social media bullsh*t can affect your mental state. It’s stupid, but it’s reality.

If you’ve already been overthinking your entire situation with this person to the point of speculating that they’re mischievously snickering in a dark room watching your Instagram story, maybe it’s time to hit that block button. Really, it’s the only way out of the rabbit hole you’ve crawled down. If you had preferred they would have just ghosted you entirely, the ball is in your court. Block them and set them free. Free to float around with all the other invisible ghosts you forgot about a week after they ghosted you.

Dating is pretty stupid, and social media is really stupid. Nothing good can come from their combination. Except maybe a storybook romance. But mostly it just means obsessing over things that ultimately don’t matter. Sure, maybe they’ll notice you blocked them and figure out they f*cked up. Maybe they’ll even reach out to apologize and clear the air. But most likely they won’t even notice. And you know what, that’s OK. It’s not your problem anymore.

Orbiting Is Just a Form of Ghosting, Get Over It (5)

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Orbiting Is Just a Form of Ghosting, Get Over It (2024)

FAQs

Is orbiting someone the new ghosting someone? ›

“[If] they ghosted you and didn't put any effort in the beginning but they still watch your social media accounts, this is called orbiting in the dating world in an era where everyone is constantly keeping tabs on each other,” she says.

What is the difference between ghosting and orbiting? ›

Ghosting is the practice of ending a relationship without explaining to the partner and avoiding any communication attempts. Orbiting is identical to ghosting, but the disengager still visibly follows the former partner on social media.

Why is he orbiting me after ghosting? ›

There are several reasons why someone might be orbiting you. They may regret ghosting you and be looking out for an opportunity to re-enter your life. Or they might want to keep their options open and don't mind if they're sending mixed signals.

How do you respond to orbiting? ›

If it's truly bothering you, feel free to mute or block them; if it's just the occasional like or fave, unless you're actually interested in reinitiating contact or getting back together, don't respond in kind. Try not to interpret it as anything but a reminder of their presence in the world, and move on.

Is orbiting a power move? ›

Ultimately it may be a power move. Taylor Lorenz suggests that it is a subtle reminder that the person is still there, and has not gone away. You're keeping someone somewhat connected, while not totally writing them off.

What is the psychology of orbiting? ›

"The ability to orbit a person after a breakup can result in individuals feeling stuck in a cycle of painful feelings. Individuals who orbit an ex may feel experience an increase in feelings of anger and sadness, which can interfere with the ability of the grieving process."

Why would a guy orbit you? ›

Orbiting can be a power move when the person doing it knows full well that you will see their name at the top of your list of views. It's a way to let a former flame know that you're still tepidly interested, and allows you to keep one foot in the door, so to speak, to keep it from closing.

What is partial ghosting? ›

In additional to “complete ghosting,” in which a relationship disconnects entirely, there is also the phenomenon of “semi-ghosting,” in which a formerly close relationship is still superficially in place, but the frequency and depth of contact are so lacking that, for all practical purposes, the relationship is barely ...

What is Breadcrumbing? ›

Breadcrumbing is the act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal social signals (i.e. "breadcrumbs") in order to lure a romantic partner in without expending much effort. In other words, it's leading someone on. To gain insight into the latest phenomenon in modern dating, we asked Kelly Campbell, Ph.

What is the reason for orbiting? ›

Orbits are the result of a perfect balance between the forward motion of a body in space, such as a planet or moon, and the pull of gravity on it from another body in space, such as a large planet or star.

Do guys ever regret ghosting? ›

New research reveals a rise in the 'Guilty-Ghoster', as nearly half of those who admitted to ghosting say they regret doing so. Over a third said this was because they felt guilty about their actions and 35% said they were worried they'd hurt their feelings, according to research from dating app Badoo.

How long should ghosting last? ›

While every relationship is different, three days is enough time to consider yourself ghosted. Sure, everyone has emergencies or can come up with a valid excuse for not responding, but letting things linger for three days or longer is enough to categorise it as a ghosted situation.

What is the force of orbiting? ›

The orbit can be expressed in terms of the acceleration of gravity at the orbit. The force of gravity in keeping an object in circular motion is an example of centripetal force. Since it acts always perpendicular to the motion, gravity does not do work on the orbiting object if it is in a circular orbit.

What are the two motions that cause orbiting? ›

We found that the field motion and static motion are the two motions combined to produce an orbit. Field motion differs from collision motion, which is caused by forces such as gravity.In contrast to dynamic motion, static motion occurs when an object moves on or around another moving object that is circular motion.

What are examples of orbiting? ›

Many planets have moons that orbit them. A satellite can also be man-made, like the International Space Station. Planets, comets, asteroids and other objects in the solar system orbit the sun. Most of the objects orbiting the sun move along or close to an imaginary flat surface.

Is orbiting the same as falling? ›

A spacecraft in orbit is not beyond the reach of Earth's gravity. In fact, gravity is what holds it in orbit—without gravity, the spacecraft would fly off in a straight path. As the spacecraft orbits, it is actually falling, though it never reaches the ground.

What he thinks when you don t contact him? ›

“No contact” could make him question what he thought he did right. He'll doubt everything from his attractiveness and bedroom skills to his jokes and romantic gestures. He might fixate on every little error he made while you were together, adding to his feelings of regret and insecurity.

When a guy acts interested then backs off? ›

He may have detected that you're interested in more than just hooking up, and he's trying to back away slowly. His sudden lack of interest could signal he wants to end things, or that he wants to keep you at a distance. Either way, if he's not interested in more than sex, and you are, it's probably not a good match.

What is the opposite of orbiting? ›

inaction. Noun. ▲ Opposite of the movement of an object in a circular or elliptical course. oscillation.

Why do people orbit in dating? ›

Orbiting is scheming, and sometimes even manipulative because it's a deliberate attempt to play mental games with an ex after at least one person has expressed the desire to end the relationship.”

What is houseplanting dating? ›

“Houseplanting is simply treating someone you're dating like a houseplant. Watering them occasionally, and not treating a person like a human with feelings and needs.

How do you stop orbiting someone? ›

Here are five steps you can follow to take back your control and nip orbiting in the bud.
  1. Recognise your power and control. ...
  2. Utilise social media settings as boundaries. ...
  3. Report predators. ...
  4. Confront them from a mindful, empowered position. ...
  5. Be aware of how you represent yourself.
May 4, 2018

Why does he still watch my stories? ›

In a not so romantic sense, he may be opening your Instagram Story simply to keep tabs on you. He may be curious how you spend your time now. He may be checking to see if you're dating someone new and if you've moved on.

Will a guy come around if you give him space? ›

Even if your man pulls away, he didn't break off the relationship entirely. And this means that he left space to connect with you from time to time. He simply took some time off for himself and space from the relationship. So when he contacts you even if you give him space, then it's a strong sign he's coming back.

What's worse than ghosting? ›

Recently, a new term that is considered worse than ghosting has emerged in the dating scene. This new trend is known as 'Zombied. ' It describes someone who tries to rekindle a dead relationship by sending out-of-the-blue texts on social media after disappearing for a long time.

What is soft ghosting? ›

Soft ghosting refers to someone 'liking' your last message or latest comment on their post on platforms like Facebook and Instagram where it's possible to react to an interaction, but not actually replying and continuing the conversation. So, although they're not ignoring you, they're also offering no genuine response.

How does the ghoster feel after ghosting someone? ›

After ghosting a partner, 65% of ghosters feel anxiety, awkwardness and guilt. This may vary from concerns of running into the ghostee in the future to simply hurting someone's feelings. “From the ghoster's perspective, choosing to ghost was a little bit nicer than a more blatant rejection approach,” Dubar said.

What is slow fading in dating? ›

Unlike ghosting, where the people you like just “vanish”, slow-fading is like wanting to slowly end the relationship — without actually ever saying it. They'd rather you be the one who breaks things off.

What are Breadcrumbing texts? ›

In modern dating parlance, breadcrumbing is the equivalent of stringing someone along via digital communication without ever meeting them.

What is narcissistic Breadcrumbing? ›

Breadcrumbing is when a person gives someone just enough attention to "string them along" or makes them think they are interested in them. The purpose of breadcrumbing for a narcissist is to give them an ego boost.

What is cloaking in dating? ›

“Cloaking is when a person doesn't just stand you up for a date, they also block you on any app that you've previously communicated on,”

Is orbiting different to rotating? ›

"Rotation" refers to an object's spinning motion about its own axis. "Revolution" refers the object's orbital motion around another object. For example, Earth rotates on its own axis, producing the 24-hour day. Earth revolves about the Sun, producing the 365-day year.

What would happen if we stopped orbiting? ›

If Earth stopped revolving around the sun, it would either fly out of its orbit and into outer space, or it would fall into the sun. If it flew out of its orbit, everything on Earth would be moving at 30 km/s and would fly off the planet. If it fell into the sun, it would take around 65 days for the planet to crash.

What to text a guy who ghosted you? ›

Serious Ghosting Responses
  • Is everything all right? ...
  • Since I haven't heard from you in a while, I think I'm going to move on. ...
  • I'm assuming you're no longer interested. ...
  • I'm going out with friends tomorrow night. ...
  • I saw this and thought of you [alongside a tweet, TikTok, picture, etc.].
Apr 18, 2022

What does ghosting say about a man? ›

It shows you have no respect for another person's feelings. It say you are inconsiderate and don't care much about the impact or consequences of your actions. It's easier than breaking up but it also shows you have no character when you choose easy over integrity.

Should I text him if he ghosted me? ›

Overwhelmingly, all the experts we consulted recommend not texting anything after being ghosted. We know! It's hard. Sending a message is just not worth your time or energy, especially since you can't control the response.

How long between texts is ghosting? ›

There's not a set amount of time it takes before it's considered ghosting, and it doesn't matter how long you've known the person. If they stop communicating with you completely without a word despite your follow-ups, it's ghosting.

Should I ask why he ghosted me? ›

Directly ask what's wrong

Straightforward, I know! When you think someone is ghosting you, it's best to just be up-front and ask them what's going on. Tubbs recommends a message along these lines: Hey! I noticed you haven't been as responsive lately.

Is ghosting my coping mechanism? ›

Ghosting people is a coping mechanism, she explains. “It's often done as a psychological tool to protect the one who is ghosting. Often, it's a shortcut to avoid difficult relational dynamics.”

What is the difference between orbit and trajectory? ›

While a trajectory is a path traced by a moving body, an orbit is a trajectory that is periodically repeated. While the path followed by the motion of an artificial satellite around Earth is an orbit, the path followed by a launch vehicle is called the launch trajectory.

What is the energy of orbiting object? ›

E=K+U=GmME2r−GmMEr=−GmME2r. We can see that the total energy is negative, with the same magnitude as the kinetic energy. For circular orbits, the magnitude of the kinetic energy is exactly one-half the magnitude of the potential energy.

How much force does it take to leave orbit? ›

At 11km/s you can successfully break orbit and escape the gravitational pull of the Earth. At 10km/s the Earth will eventually slow down your ascent till you begin falling back towards the ground. These values are at ground level.

What are the 2 things that keep something in orbit? ›

A satellite maintains its orbit by balancing two factors: its velocity (the speed it takes to travel in a straight line) and the gravitational pull that Earth has on it.

What is everything orbiting around? ›

Everything in the galaxy orbits the center of mass of the galaxy. The supermassive black hole just happens to be at the center. If the black hole at the center were removed, the galactic orbits of almost all objects in the galaxy would not change (except for the few stars that are very close to the black hole).

What force is responsible for orbiting motions? ›

The force which is responsible for the motion of satellites in their orbit around the earth is the gravitational force of attraction. The gravitational force is always attractive in nature.

How can you tell if someone is orbiting? ›

Orbiting is when someone you've dated isn't interested anymore, but keeps watching your social media stories and liking your posts. Why? Experts say you may never know so let it go.

What is the inferred meaning of orbiting? ›

to move around (a body) in a curved path, usually circular or elliptical. (tr) to send (a satellite, spacecraft, etc) into orbit.

How long before someone is considered ghosting? ›

There's not a set amount of time it takes before it's considered ghosting, and it doesn't matter how long you've known the person. If they stop communicating with you completely without a word despite your follow-ups, it's ghosting.

How many days before someone is ghosting you? ›

While every relationship is different, three days is enough time to consider yourself ghosted. Sure, everyone has emergencies or can come up with a valid excuse for not responding, but letting things linger for three days or longer is enough to categorise it as a ghosted situation.

Is ghosting someone the same as ignoring them? ›

Ghosting, simmering and icing are colloquial terms which describe the practice of ending all communication and contact with another person without any apparent warning or justification and ignoring any subsequent attempts to communicate.

Is ghosting always a rejection? ›

Ghosting is a common rejection strategy in professional and personal situations, because most people fear saying no. Ghosting doesn't hurt feelings more than outright rejection, but it causes different and meaningful kinds of suffering.

How long to text after ghosting? ›

But, there are a few circ*mstances where reaching out might make sense. If any of the following apply to you, wait a week or two to cool down, then compose a text. Ruby Payne, sex and relationship expert at UberKinky, a leading adult toy retailer, says being stood up or ghosted after four dates is grounds for a text.

Do they miss you after ghosting you? ›

They genuinely miss you.

It's okay to take someone back after they ghost you, as long as they apologize for ghosting in the first place. If they're not sorry for doing it (or don't understand what they did wrong), they're more likely to do it again.

Do most guys come back after ghosting? ›

If you're wondering do ghosters come back — the answer is yes. And, if you want to know how long until a ghoster comes back into your life, here are five signs that it could be soon, according to dating experts.

Is ghosting a lack of respect? ›

Ghosting demonstrates a lack of respect for the other person's feelings and a lack of empathy for how the ghosting may impact them. They assume that the other person will “get the hint” and can use this to justify their actions.

What's worse than ghosting someone? ›

Getting 'zombied' is the new dating trend — and it's worse than 'ghosting'

What is orbiting caused by? ›

Objects orbit each other because of gravity. Gravity is the force that exists between any two objects with mass.

Why does orbiting happen? ›

An object's momentum and the force of gravity have to be balanced for an orbit to happen. If the forward momentum of one object is too great, it will speed past and not enter into orbit. If momentum is too small, the object will be pulled down and crash.

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