How Do You Evict Your Freeloading Friend? (2024)

How Do You Evict Your Freeloading Friend? (1)

It was supposed to be just a few weeks. That was the deal. Your college friend Trisha was blindsided by her husband filing for divorce and needed a place to crash until she could find her own apartment. She's always been a bit of a mess, but you couldn't turn your back on a friend in need, right?

Now "a few weeks" has turned into eight months. In the beginning, she at least pretended to browse Craigslist for cheap sublets and part-time work, but now she doesn't do much of anything, unless binge-watching Netflix can be considered a full-time job.

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You finally work up the nerve to ask Trisha to leave. Your place is just too small and your boyfriend thinks she's a leech, eating all your food and never offering a dime for groceries, let alone rent. You break the news gently to Trisha; she has to be out by the end of the month.

And then she breaks the news to you: Nope, she's staying.

"This situation is more common than you might think," says Janet Portman, an attorney and executive editor at legal website Nolo. "And the law isn't terribly helpful to the people who are doing the kicking out."

Technically, getting rid of a freeloading friend should be a cinch, says Portman, the co-author with Marcia Stewart of "Every Landlord's Legal Guide." House guests who have overstayed their welcome have no legal right to stay at your property. Nobody wants to call the cops on an old college friend, but a house guest who refuses to leave is trespassing, which is a crime.

Guest Vs. Lodger Vs. Tenant

The problem, says Portman, is that police are extremely wary of forcibly removing someone from a property if there's even the slightest chance that they aren't a guest, but in fact a tenant. Because dragging a tenant out of their home without a court order is called a "self-help eviction," which is illegal and the tenant can sue both you and the cops. A tenant could also sue you if you throw their belongings out of the house or change the locks.

All your freeloading house guest has to say is that they've been helping pay for groceries or watching your dog when you go away for the weekend (whether or not it's true). Even if there's no written lease and no rent has changed hands, they can claim that they are a tenant or a "lodger." A lodger is someone who rents a room in a home where the owner also lives. Tenants have their own standalone unit.

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If Trisha is staying in your guest room and convinces the cops that she's providing even minimal help in exchange for a place to stay, she's a lodger. And evicting a tenant or a lodger is a civil matter, which means the cops won't touch it. Congratulations, you're a landlord now!

As Trisha's unwitting landlord, you have to follow state law for evictions, which can vary. In California, where Portman practices, you first need to give Trisha a "notice to quit." This is an eviction form which notifies her in writing that she has 30 days to voluntarily leave the property. You'd probably want to have an attorney draft this document and give you instructions on how to serve it. What happens next depends on whether Trisha is a tenant or a lodger.

If a lodger in California refuses to leave after 30 days, they can be kicked out without going through a court-ordered eviction process, because after the 30-day mark, they are officially trespassing. At this point, you could call the police.

But if a tenant won't budge after 30 days, a California landlord has to file a lawsuit in civil court for an eviction, which can take additional weeks to finalize. Assuming you win the case, the cops can then be called in to remove the good-for-nothing from the premises, forcibly if need be.

'They Were Scammers'

All of this costs money. A savvy freeloader might do everything in their power to prolong the process to make it as painful and expensive as possible.

"What often happens is the homeowner pays the guy to leave," says Portman. "And believe it or not, there are people who pull this nonsense."

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Portman remembers when a gas line explosion in San Bruno, California left thousands of people homeless in 2010, and big-hearted neighbors took in the displaced, only to be shocked when months later the rescued house guests refused to leave without a payout. Some turned out not to be real victims at all.

"They were scammers," says Portman.

The best way to protect yourself from the emotional and financial train wreck of evicting a house guest in court is to put something in writing from the start. It's awkward, yes, but it's really important for the friend to sign a statement certifying that they are indeed a guest, not a tenant or lodger, that they are not paying rent or providing services in exchange for lodging, and most importantly, that you, the owner, can ask them to leave at any time.

"I can guarantee you that most people are not going to want to do that, though," says Portman. "They have a gut feeling that this person is trustworthy, then it goes south and that's how lawyers make their money."

Editor's Note: Each situation is different and laws vary from state to state. The article shouldn't be construed as legal advice.

Now That's Worse

As a New York couple found out in 2018, evicting a grown child is even more painful and embarrassing than evicting a house guest. They even gave their son $1,100 to get moving, but that didn't work. Taking him to court and getting an eviction order was the only solution.

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Originally Published: Jul 12, 2018

Freeloading Friend FAQ

Can the police remove a freeloading friend from my house?

That depends. First, you need to explicitly tell your friend that they need to leave your house. If they won’t, you can file a report against them for trespassing. If they still won't leave you can call the police. However in some states, a guest can be considered a tenant depending on length of stay and whether they're paying even minimal money. Plus, if you co-signed on the lease or co-own the home together, they have just as much legal right to stay on the premises as you do, regardless of whether they’re “pulling their weight.” In a complicated civil matter, the police may not wish to get involved.

Can you kick a freeloading friend out of your house if they are not on the lease?

If they are not on the rental agreement or lease, you can ask them to leave. However, the law doesn’t allow you to physically remove them from your home. If they refuse to leave, you could contact the police.

How do you kick a freeloader out of your house?

Initiate the judicial process. First, send a three-day notice, asking them to leave the premises. If they continue to stay, apply for an eviction petition.

How Do You Evict Your Freeloading Friend? (2024)

FAQs

How do I get rid of a friend staying at my house? ›

  1. Polite and compassionate honesty is the best solution.
  2. Go with the obvious and simple response.
  3. Explain your notion of preferring to have your own peace at home.
  4. Create an alternative.
  5. Be honest but stay safe.
  6. Don't deflect blame.
  7. Tell them why you're not currently having houseguests.
  8. Suggest other options of places to stay.
Apr 12, 2023

How do I kick my best friend out of my house? ›

Speak with a reasonable and respectful tone of voice.

Speak to them as you would a co-worker, sticking to the facts and not emotional outbursts. Say, "We've enjoyed having you, but we unfortunately need our space back and have to ask you to leave in the next two weeks."

How do I get rid of a freeloader friend? ›

Freeloading Friend FAQ

That depends. First, you need to explicitly tell your friend that they need to leave your house. If they won't, you can file a report against them for trespassing. If they still won't leave you can call the police.

How do you deal with a family freeloader? ›

I would sit them down & kindly ask them if they can either help out paying the bills etc or they have to find somewhere else to live. Tell them that it is unfair for you to constantly pay for them. Helping and enabling are two different things.

How do you tell someone no to stay at your house? ›

Be Honest Upfront
  1. “Sorry! We don't have the space for houseguests at the moment”
  2. “Unfortunately we're unable to host any guests right now”
  3. “I'd love for you to visit sometime, but this weekend won't work for us!”
  4. “I know we'd have a great weekend!
Jun 10, 2021

How long should a friend stay at your house? ›

Although three days and two nights is the ideal visit, Hokemeyer admits that when guests are coming from a great distance, the stay may have to be extended. When the visit is longer, more care has to be taken to reduce stress.

How do you get rid of a friend without being rude? ›

Best practices for making a clean, and kind, break from a BFF
  1. Don't text. ...
  2. Keep it on neutral ground. ...
  3. Tell them before anyone else. ...
  4. Be direct. ...
  5. Be kind. ...
  6. Be prepared to explain clearly. ...
  7. Use "I" ...
  8. Aftercare.
Aug 14, 2018

How do you get rid of your best friend without hurting them? ›

Talk It Out

Having direct and honest communication can minimize any miscommunication regarding your reasons or feelings about ending the friendship. This option is much better than ghosting your friend, which can leave them feeling confused, hurt, and blindsided.

How do you cut off a friend who hurt you? ›

Here are some things to try:
  1. Don't message or call them as frequently. If you used to text three times a week, bring it down to twice a week, and then once a week.
  2. If it's tricky because you're all in the same group, you could try limiting your catch-ups to group stuff so that your interactions are less personal.

How do you get a Moocher to move out? ›

Your only legal avenue is to give him a written notice of termination of tenancy. If he doesn't leave voluntarily after receiving written notice, you can file an eviction lawsuit, known as an unlawful detainer, in court.

How do you remove someone from your house? ›

Guests must have permission to remain in your home. Once you withdraw that permission, they are trespassing. You may call local law enforcement to remove them from your home if they refuse to leave.

How do you drop a needy friend? ›

Prior to talking to the person, write down what you'd like to say to them. Avoid attacking them; politely tell them that the friendship is no longer working for you and you feel it's best to go your separate ways. Go over it once or twice to make sure you have a clear and concise explanation for why. Set boundaries.

What is an example of a freeloader? ›

A freeloader is a person who takes things from others without paying for them or giving anything in return. If you eat all of your friend's Pop-Tarts and play his video games but then refuse to help with his math homework, you're a freeloader.

How can you tell if someone is freeloading? ›

Take note when the other person starts asking favors from you like using your car or credit card, almost always forgetting their wallets, always hoping to be showered with expensive gifts- are clear-cut requisites of a freeloader. Oftentimes the relationship can turn abusive and may take a toll on your health.

How to spot a freeloader friend? ›

And that's something you can do without in your circle of friends.
  1. Here's how to spot the freeloader early on:
  2. Wallet gets left at home. ...
  3. Forgotten drinks. ...
  4. Always a guest and never a host. ...
  5. Always on the cheap. ...
  6. No petrol contribution. ...
  7. A lack of generosity. ...
  8. Recycled gifts.
Jan 29, 2016

Can you let a friend stay in your house? ›

Of course, you can let anyone live rent-free in your house. As mentioned previously, no laws require you to make a rental agreement with the tenant, and no laws force you to take rent.

What to do when someone invites themselves to stay at your house? ›

Be direct and turn them away.

If they show up unannounced say something like, “Hi! I'd love to catch up but wish you'd let me know beforehand. I'm not free today.” If they're asking to stay at your house try, “I'm sorry, but we can't host right now” or “Unfortunately, it won't work for us to host.”

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