How Do I Get Rid of a Clingy Friend? (2024)

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As much as we’d all like to believe in the teen trope of BFFs, sometimes that second F needs to be “f*ck off.” Maybe you’re in a friendship that was toxic from the start. Now you’ve grown healthier and are ready to cut them out of your life like a suspicious mole. Maybe your friendship started out healthy and now your friend has morphed into one of those people who makes you feel like a loser every time you’re together.Breaking up with a friend can be even harder than breaking up with a lover, says Sharon Saline, a Massachusetts-based psychologist and lecturer at Smith College School for Social Work who has experience as both dumper and dumpee. There’s a lot of information and advice out there about breaking up with someone in a romantic relationship. “And those break-ups seem to be more expected and accepted socially,” she says. “With friends, the structure and boundaries are much less clear. It's often harder because we expect those relationships to last.”

Of course, it pays to take time and think about whether a friendship is worth taking some serious effort to mend. But if you decide that ship has sailed, capsized, and sunk, here's some advice for getting yourself free of it unscathed.

Q: How do I get rid of a toxic, clingy friend?

Be honest. To yourself and your friend. Prior to talking to the person, write down what you’d like to say to them. Avoid attacking them; politely tell them that the friendship is no longer working for you and you feel it’s best to go your separate ways. Go over it once or twice to make sure you have a clear and concise explanation for why.Set boundaries. Make sure you know going into the split with this friend that you have clear boundaries you want to follow, whether it’s about not talking for a set number of months, or agreeing in advance to not show up at the same parties. Be prepared for the possibility that the friend is likely to try to make a comeback in one way or another, which will force you to remind them of the boundaries that you’d set.Unfollow them. It’s no different from a romantic relationship in this case. Keeping your exes on social media, whether they’re platonic or not, only keeps them present in your life. It allows you to check in on them and vice-versa.Identify some new activities to enjoy. Go do things for yourself, engage in healthy friendships, volunteer. These things will not only serve as a distraction while you focus on moving on, but will also help create healthy habits—and, with luck, decrease the likelihood that you’ll befriend toxic people down the line.

There are more specifics—and an actual script to follow—here.This week's answer is from Rachel Aredia, a therapist and ADAA member.

How Do I Get Rid of a Clingy Friend? (1)

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How Do I Get Rid of a Clingy Friend? (2024)

FAQs

How Do I Get Rid of a Clingy Friend? ›

Try to state your feelings and needs while being empathetic to your friend. Try to speak using “I” statements and explain how you feel rather than how you view your friend's clingy behavior. You might try saying something like “I really enjoy your company but I also need time to myself.

How do I get rid of my clingy friend? ›

Prior to talking to the person, write down what you'd like to say to them. Avoid attacking them; politely tell them that the friendship is no longer working for you and you feel it's best to go your separate ways. Go over it once or twice to make sure you have a clear and concise explanation for why. Set boundaries.

How do you respond to a clingy friend? ›

Be direct and honest.

If none of your other approaches have been working, you need to tell your friend that you need some time to yourself. Don't attack her or her behavior, simply focus on the fact that you are uncomfortable and would like some space.

How do you gently dump a clingy friend? ›

How to Tell Your Friend They're Being Clingy (Without Hurting Their Feelings)
  1. Step 1: Know what your boundaries are (and communicate them). ...
  2. Step 2: Try to use “I” statements when you talk to them. ...
  3. Step 3: Be ready to hear them out, too. ...
  4. Step 4: Prepare for possible discomfort.

Are clingy friends toxic? ›

Toxic friends are obsessively needy

Neo said you might feel like you've gotten yourself an obsessive boyfriend or girlfriend without even asking for it. They'll call and text you at all times of the day, even if you said you're busy. "They want all your time, so it's a very codependent kind of friendship," she said.

Should I block a clingy friend? ›

Blocking someone out of the blue may not always be a good decision but obviously if you showed them before that they're being too much then block them. And if that doesn't work and they are still bothering you it's best to just block them. There's no point in being stuck in such friendship because all it does is harm.

How do you respond to clingy? ›

How to Deal With a Clingy Partner
  1. Identify the behaviors you find difficult and how they make you feel.
  2. Communicate what you've identified in a clear and supportive way: try not to blame them but focus on how their behavior makes you feel, let them know that you care about them and that you aim to find a solution.

Why do people become clingy? ›

Acting clingy tends to stem from attachment issues and past relationships that were emotionally dramatic. Clinginess is not as severe as codependency, but it can be a symptom of this unhealthy relationship style.

Is texting a friend everyday too much? ›

There's no “normal” amount to text your friends. A lot of people text their closest friends every day. You might text other friends a few times a month. It's really up to you.

How do you get rid of an annoying friend without being mean? ›

What do I do about an annoying friend?
  1. Let them know but in a non-confrontational way. ...
  2. Set Boundaries. ...
  3. Try to see things from their perspective. ...
  4. Try to identify the root cause of the annoyance. ...
  5. Ask help. ...
  6. Consider the long-term consequences.

How do you cut off a friend you have feelings for? ›

Spend time apart

You may also find it helpful to unfollow your crush on social media as well; social media platforms might algorithmically recommend them to you if you are in the same circle of friends, so you may need to temporarily block or mute them as well.

How do I detach my best friend emotionally? ›

Here are some things you can try.
  1. Identify the reason. Ask yourself why you're now deciding to detach from the relationship. ...
  2. Release your emotions. ...
  3. Don't react, respond. ...
  4. Start small. ...
  5. Keep a journal. ...
  6. Meditate. ...
  7. Be patient with yourself. ...
  8. Look forward.
Aug 20, 2021

Does clinginess push people away? ›

It's worth noting that excessive clinginess can drive partners away, too, especially when relationship behaviors shift abruptly between a strong need for closeness and a sharp rejection of it. Learn more about different attachment styles.

How do you reject a clingy guy? ›

Tell him you don't feel about him the way he feels about you. Tell him No, thank you when he asks you out on a date. Be firm, be consistent. It does make it harder when the other person is a genuinely nice person, but you still have to do this if you don't want to keep being bugged.

How do you deal with an overbearing friend? ›

Strategies for Success
  1. Set limits. You can say no lovingly but succinctly, says Orloff in Emotional Freedom: “Something on the order of, 'You're my friend and I love you, but I'm going alone/with Mary this time. ...
  2. Suggest alternatives. ...
  3. Remember the good. ...
  4. Rehearse. ...
  5. “Retrain” your friend. ...
  6. Be good to yourself.
Apr 15, 2015

How do you respond to a needy person? ›

If someone is being pushy, be just as resolute at saying no. Say, “I know you won't give up easily, but I am not going to change my mind.” Know that people ask you for favors or to do projects because they believe in you. Always say “thank you for thinking of me”, even when you politely decline.

What does clingy mean in friendship? ›

Someone who's clingy needs a lot of attention or emotional support. Your clingy friend gets very upset when you hang out with your other pals and don't invite him. There are several ways to be clingy, including being emotionally demanding or possessive, like a clingy boyfriend.

What do you say to a demanding friend? ›

For example, you might say, "I'm happy to help you out occasionally, but I can't always drop everything to meet your needs." Be honest: If you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed out by your friend's demands, it's important to be h.

What to do when a friend expects too much? ›

Be direct about when and how you can be there for your friends. If your friend is needing more and more from you, and you're just not able to give as much as they're hoping, it's helpful to be upfront. Carve out the time that you can spend and how you can spend it.

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