What to do when your partner moves in (2024)

Every long-term relationship has significant milestones along the way, and moving in with a partner is certainly an exciting time. But aside from the novelty of living with your companion, there are various implications of cohabiting relationships to think about – from splitting bills to paying Council Tax. In this guide, we explain what to do when someone moves in with you.

Moving in with a partner who owns a house

Understandably, when moving in with a partner it’s much nicer to think about the positives, from spending more time together to hosting your friends and family. But equally, cohabiting relationships come with certain responsibilities, so it’s important to ensure you’re prepared for any worst-case scenario.

The legal definition of cohabiting

There is no legal definition of cohabiting, but it is generally understood to refer to couples that live together but aren’t married or in a civil partnership. It’s a common misconception that long-term cohabiting partners are in what’s known as a ‘common-law marriage.’

In the UK, cohabiting relationships don’t have the same rights as a married couple; for example, married partners automatically have the right to live in the ‘matrimonial home’.

What to do when your partner moves in (1)

How does a cohabiting relationship affect my rights?

If you are the property owner, you will retain your legal ownership of the home and any possessions that were bought before your partner moved in. However, if your partner is able to claim that they have a ‘beneficial interest’ in the property – for example, they may have contributed towards the mortgage – then theoretically they could force you to sell the property or claim proceeds from its sale.

What to do when someone moves in with you

There are no shortage of things to consider when moving in with a partner, so we’ve produced a checklist to help you get on top of that life admin and create a home sweet home.

  • Discuss how you’ll split costs. Living together means you’ll have many shared expenses, from broadband and heating bills to paying Council Tax. In any cohabiting relationship, it’s important to decide how these costs will be split. You might want to go 50-50, but if one person earns much more than the other, this could get complicated (depending on your viewpoint). Whatever you decide, having an honest conversation is a good start.
  • Consider a joint bank account. In a cohabiting relationship, you might find it easier to set up a joint bank account in both of your names, which you could use to settle shared costs like energy bills. But remember, both account holders will be liable for any debts accrued, so it’s really important that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to your attitudes towards spending.
  • Update your home insurance. If someone moves in with you, this can affect your home insurance premiums, as your insurer will base any payout on the number of people living at a property, and (for contents insurance) the value of possessions like laptops or jewellery. In terms of how to declare a partner moving in, you should contact your insurer with information about who will be occupying your home.
  • Consolidate existing expenses. Now that you’re living together, you won’t need to be paying two lots of bills for certain outgoings, such as your TV licence, utilities, home insurance or Council Tax. Make sure that any unnecessary Direct Debit payments have been cancelled so you’re not out of pocket.
  • Think about life insurance. If you own a property with a partner and one of you were to die while covered by the policy, a life insurance payout could help the surviving partner pay for the mortgage. And life insurance isn't just for homeowners– if you rent together, could your partner manage financially if you were to pass away?

What is classed as living together for benefits?

No two households are exactly the same, and if you’re in receipt of benefits, knowing what to do when someone moves in can seem complicated at first. Your entitlement to benefits changes according to whether the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) classifies you as a single adult, single parent, or living as part of a couple. For example, you won’t be able to claim for Universal Credit as a couple if you have joint savings or capital of over £16,000.

As far as the DWP are concerned, the legal definition of cohabiting applies to couples who are living in the same household and are any of the following:

  • Married
  • In a civil partnership
  • “Living together as though [you’re] married”.

This last definition of cohabitation can cause confusion; for example, you may have a partner who often stays over but lives in a separate household. If you’re in this situation, it’s a good idea to ensure that you and your partner retain documentation – such as a driving licence or car registration – that shows you live at different residences. This could prove useful if you’re contacted by the benefits office to prove your household status.

How to declare a partner moving in

There are various scenarios where you might wish to declare that a partner has moved in with you. For example, you can contact your local authority when someone moves in so that you pay the correct amount of Council Tax.

If you’re in receipt of benefits such as Universal Credit and a partner moves in, you can report a change of circ*mstances by signing into your Universal Credit account.

Moreover, if you’re a parent, you may be able to receive Child Tax Credit for a maximum of two children per household, although there are exemptions for some larger families. If you’re unsure about what your family are entitled to, you can contact the Child Benefit Office to enquire, or report a change to your circ*mstances if a partner moves in.

What to do when your partner moves in (2024)

FAQs

How do I deal with my partner moving in? ›

What to do when someone moves in with you
  1. Discuss how you'll split costs. Living together means you'll have many shared expenses, from broadband and heating bills to paying Council Tax. ...
  2. Consider a joint bank account. ...
  3. Update your home insurance. ...
  4. Consolidate existing expenses. ...
  5. Think about life insurance.
Nov 24, 2022

How to tell your partner they aren t putting in enough effort? ›

"Speak to your partner assertively by telling them exactly what you need and how they can help," Nedra Tawwab, LCSW, a licensed clinical social worker, told INSIDER. "Many times people don't help because that are unaware that you need their help.

When he puts in minimal effort? ›

He is taking his time

Another common reason a guy might stop putting effort is he wants to take it slow. He is satisfied with you and your behavior. Considering his past relationships, he doesn't want to mess this up. This might make you feel, “he says he loves me but makes no effort.”

How do you deal with a relationship that moves too fast? ›

10 tips to slow down a relationship when moving too fast
  1. Clear communication. Talk to your partner about your feelings, needs, and concerns honestly. ...
  2. Don't rush physical intimacy. ...
  3. Spend less time together. ...
  4. Take a break. ...
  5. Set boundaries. ...
  6. Focus on your growth. ...
  7. Avoid making big decisions. ...
  8. Pay attention to the red flags.
Apr 27, 2023

How many relationships fail after moving in together? ›

For couples who decide to move in together, just over half of them marry within five years. Within that same time period, 40 percent of couples split up. Roughly 10 percent of them continue to live together without being married.

How long do most relationships last after moving in together? ›

Nearly one in ten couples broke up after just 4-6 months of living together, 8% of couples called it quits after living together for less than three months and 2% left it less than a month before calling off their relationship.

What is stonewalling in a relationship? ›

Stonewalling is when one or both partner shuts down and refuses to respond whenever there is conflict. This leaves many unresolved issues, which can spell disaster in a relationship. Understand that stonewalling is likely rooted in trauma, and you may need professional help to overcome this damaging habit.

What no effort looks like in a relationship? ›

Disinterest in spending time together

Spending quality time together is essential to building intimacy and maintaining a healthy relationship. If one partner constantly declines invitations to spend time together or seems disinterested in planning activities, it can indicate a lack of effort in a relationship.

What is bare minimum in a relationship? ›

Essentially, the bare minimum is one step above nothing.

They put in minimum investment in the relationship and to their partner, while expecting you to do everything for them. They are only looking to use your good intentions to get the maximum benefits out of you.

How do I ask my partner to put in more effort? ›

Say what you want directly.

Let him know exactly how you're feeling as soon as you feel it so you can address it right away. For example, you might say, “I feel like I haven't gotten as much attention as I need,” or “I feel that I've put more effort into our relationship lately.”

Why do I feel like I'm the only one trying in my relationship? ›

A number of factors can contribute to a one-sided relationship. Past experiences, mental health issues, insecurity, and poor communication skills can all play a role.

When should you stop putting effort into a relationship? ›

If your relationship and bond with your partner are deteriorating, then sit calmly and think about the good things in your partner and your relationship. If you find yourself unable to find one good reason, then it's time to stop making efforts to improve your relationship with your better half.

Why moving too fast is a red flag? ›

Caution: if someone is moving too fast, it's one of the clearest relationship red flags. This is an indication that they are either desperate or that they want to catch you before you discover some deep, dark secret.

What are the red flags in a relationship? ›

Overly controlling behavior is a common red flag in relationships. People that try to control your movements, decisions, or beliefs are more concerned about what they want than what is best for you. If a guy or girl tries to control what you wear or where you go, this could be a red flag.

Can moving too fast ruin a relationship? ›

Moving too fast can be a risky move. The honeymoon phase of a relationship is both a blessing and a curse. Sure, there's bliss and plenty of amazing emotions, but the phase can also cause you to be blinded by a partner's flaws or toxic behaviors. This can ultimately lead to the downfall of a relationship.

How long should you wait before moving in together? ›

Most relationship experts advise couples to wait at least a year before moving in together. But that doesn't mean people who cohabitate after only three months won't last. However, folks who wait a bit longer have a better track record.

What does moving in do to a relationship? ›

Once they move in, many couples fall into the habit of spending all their time together, which can be unhealthy. You can put too much pressure on your relationship or you can grow resentful that you've given up so much to be together.

How long does it take to adjust to living together? ›

From 18 to 36 months, couples "settle in," beginning to accept—or shape—the quality of their life together. Those who cannot reframe or readjust often break up.

Is the first year of living together the hardest? ›

According to Hartstein, the first year really is the hardest—even if you've already lived together. In fact, it often doesn't matter if you've been together for multiple years, the start of married life is still tricky.

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