The Keys to a Successful Marriage - Health Encyclopedia (2024)

When you're caught up in the excitement of your wedding, it can be hard to imagine that you and your spouse might not live happily ever after. But sharing your life with another person can be a challenge, especially if you don’t have a lot of experience with relationships. Marriages take work, commitment, and love, but they also need respect to be truly happy and successful.

A marriage based on love and respect doesn't just happen. Both spouses have to do their part. Below are some important keys to work on each day to make your marriage successful.

Communicate clearly and often

Talking with your spouse is one of the best ways to keep your marriage healthy and successful. Be honest about what you're feeling, but be kind and respectful when you communicate. Part of good communication is being a good listener and taking the time to understand what it is your spouse wants and needs from you. Keep the lines of communication open by talking often, and not just about things like bills and the kids. Share your thoughts and feelings.

Tell your spouse that you're thankful for having him or her in your life

Appreciate each other, your relationship, your family, and your lives together. Show gratitude when your partner cooks dinner, helps the kids with their homework, or does the grocery shopping. It may help to take a few minutes each evening to tell each other at least one thing you appreciated that day.

Make time for you two as a couple

With work and family responsibilities, it can be easy to lose the romance factor. Plan special dates, either to go out or just stay at home. If you have children, send them on a play date while you relax, talk, and enjoy each other's company.

Plan for some personal time

Alone time is just as important as couple time. Everyone needs time to recharge, think, and enjoy personal interests. That time is often lost when you're married, especially if you have kids. Go out with friends, take a class, or do volunteer work, whatever you find enriching. When you're back together with your spouse, you'll appreciate each other even more.

Understand that it's OK to disagree

You won't agree on everything, but it is important to be fair and respectful during disagreements. Listen to your spouse's point of view. Try not to get angry and don't let yourself become too frustrated. Walk away and calm down if you need to, then discuss the problem again when you're both in a better frame of mind. Compromise on problems so that you both give a little.

Build trust

Marriage therapist and researcher John Gottman, Ph.D., has found that criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling are serious threats to a marriage. The more a couple engages in these destructive activities, the more likely they are to divorce. His decades of research and of working with couples have shown that spouses who stay together know how to fight without being hostile and to take responsibility for their actions. They are also more likely to respond quickly to each other’s wishes to make up after fights and repair the relationship.

Learn to forgive

Everyone makes mistakes. Your spouse may hurt your feelings or do something that upsets you, and that may make you angry, even furious. But it's important to deal with your feelings, let them go, and move on. don’t keep bringing up the past.

Remember to remain committed to your spouse, your family, and the life that you have built together. Support each other emotionally and in everyday ways. You, your spouse, and your relationship may grow and change with time, but these ideas can help your marriage stay successful over the years.

The Keys to a Successful Marriage -  Health Encyclopedia (2024)

FAQs

What are the three C's of a healthy marriage? ›

There are three main things that happily married couples do to maintain a healthy relationship. They are committed, communicate well and aren't afraid to compromise. These are the three C's of happy marriage.

What's your number one piece of advice for a successful marriage? ›

Communicate clearly and often

Talking with your spouse is one of the best ways to keep your marriage healthy and successful. Be honest about what you're feeling, but be kind and respectful when you communicate.

What are the ingredients for a successful marriage? ›

There are many factors that contribute to a satisfying marriage/relationship such as; Love, Commitment, Trust, Time, Attention, Good Communication including Listening , Partnership, Tolerance, Patience, Openness, Honesty, Respect, Sharing, Consideration, Generosity, Willingness/Ability to Compromise, Constructive ...

What is the secret to a successful marriage? ›

Focus on each other's strengths.

It's not always easy to see past minor annoyances, and at times you may even hate your partner. But to have a happy marriage you have to accept your partner's strengths and weaknesses and be able to set realistic expectations, says Ellen Chute, LMSW.

What is the 3 3 3 rule for marriage? ›

The 3×3 rule is a way to intentionally plan your time together as a couple and alone. Every week, you and your wife set three hours aside to spend alone with one another, and another three hours to spend completely by yourselves. This time can be taken all in one day or split up and spread across the week as you like.

What are the 3 R's in marriage? ›

Relationship experts John Gottman and Sue Johnson have been studying couples for decades to learn more about couples who are enjoying secure, satisfying relationships. What do they do differently than those who are not? Basically it comes down to three important things — resilience, respect, and responsiveness.

What is the number one most important thing in a marriage? ›

Trust is perhaps one of the most important foundations of a marriage. So how can you strengthen trust in your relationship?

How can I give my wife space without losing her? ›

Here's how to give someone space without losing them:
  1. Ask how much time they need. ...
  2. Find out what “space” looks like. ...
  3. Don't ask for an explanation. ...
  4. Thank them for communicating their needs. ...
  5. Honor their request. ...
  6. Encourage them to do their favorite things. ...
  7. Avoid constant texting. ...
  8. Do your own thing.
Jun 23, 2022

What makes a man a good husband? ›

A good husband is someone who is honest, dependable, and keeps his promises. Trust is essential in any relationship, and a husband who is trustworthy can help create a secure and stable environment for his family.

What makes a good wife? ›

This may involve effective communication, emotional support, and sharing responsibilities. A good wife openly communicates with her spouse, listens with empathy, and demonstrates affection. Respecting and appreciating each other's individuality while maintaining trust and fidelity are essential.

What does healthy marriage look like? ›

Healthy relationships involve honesty, trust, respect and open communication between partners and they take effort and compromise from both people. There is no imbalance of power. Partners respect each other's independence, can make their own decisions without fear of retribution or retaliation, and share decisions.

What is the number one indicator of divorce? ›

Contempt is the worst of the four horsem*n. It is the most destructive negative behavior in relationships. In Dr. John Gottman's four decades of research, he has found it to be the number one predictor of divorce.

How to be the best wife? ›

10 Ideas: How To Be a Good Wife
  1. Pray regularly for and with your husband. ...
  2. Speak his love language. ...
  3. Show appreciation. ...
  4. Show interest in his interests. ...
  5. Put your phone away. ...
  6. Encourage individuality. ...
  7. Find a mutual hobby. ...
  8. Say something.
Mar 15, 2023

What are the C's of a healthy relationship? ›

Several themes have emerged for what can take a relationship from ordinary to extraordinary, and here I share a few of my favourite Three Cs: connection, communication, and kindness. Okay, it's actually two C's and a K, but that's not as fun of a title… Stick with me.

What are the C's in a relationship? ›

In reality, it's actually very simple. You need the 4 C's: Communication, Collaboration, Consideration, and Compatibility.

What are the 4 principles of marriage? ›

Expressing gratitude, working selflessly, laughing together, and nurturing faith are important keys to building an eternal marriage. Marriage can be challenging for anyone at any stage of the relationship.

What are the three essential characteristics of marriage? ›

Up until very recently, marriage had been universally thought of as consisting of three essential characteristics: conjugality, permanence, and exclusivity. This had been more or less reflected in our laws. Conjugality refers to the way by which a marriage is consummated: coitus between the male and female spouses.

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