Orbiting – what 2018’s answer to ‘ghosting’ means for your dating life (2024)

Name: Orbiting.

Age: The name is brand new, but the behaviour is old.

Appearance: Gone but not forgotten.

Great, something to do with traffic management assessment. Finally, a topic I understand. Sorry, but this is about dating.

Is it a sex thing? Because, now I come to think of it, orbiting sounds gross. It’s worse, I’m afraid. Orbiting is a break-up tactic.

OK, explain everything. Well, first, have you ever been ghosted?

I don’t know. Let’s start there. Ghosting is when someone breaks up with you by effectively disappearing off the face of the planet. They don’t text, they don’t call, they don’t answer their door when you drunkenly hammer at it at 3am.

My word, how cruel. Wait until you get a load of orbiting. Orbiting is ghosting with occasional impersonal check-ins.

Such as? Let’s say you’ve been ghosted. You’ve been jilted and there’s no sign of them anywhere. Then, all of a sudden, you see that they’ve viewed one of your Instagram stories.

Right. And then, one night, they favourite one of your tweets. They might even like a Facebook post or two if they’re feeling especially bold.

So it’s back on! No! Because they still aren’t replying to your texts. There’s no direct communication whatsoever. They’re casually reminding you that they exist, but also that they don’t care enough about you to get in touch and actually explain themselves.

Dear God in heaven! I’m a psychological mess! Exactly. And this is why orbiting is such a nefarious break-up strategy. The term was coined by Man Repeller writer Anna Iovine, who describes it as “close enough to see each other; far enough to never talk”. Her conclusion is that orbiting is either a power move, a sign of regret or an act of outright stupidity.

Which one is it? Who knows. Some are even calling it a redundant categorisation. A recent Vice piece, for example, said that orbiting was still a form of ghosting, but in this instance the ghosts just happen to be visible.

Right. So what you’re saying is that orbiters are basically ghosts you can see, like Slimer from Ghostbusters. Well, no, that’s not really what I was …

It shouldn’t really be called orbiting in that case. It should be called Sliming. No. Sliming is definitely a sex thing.

Now I feel disgusted as well as appalled by the inherent cruelty of the human courtship ritual. Promise me you’ll never join Tinder. You’ll end up feeling both of those things all day long.

Do say: “If you want to break up with someone, why not try orbiting them?”

Don’t say: “In my day, we just faked our owndeaths.”

Orbiting – what 2018’s answer to ‘ghosting’ means for your dating life (2024)

FAQs

Orbiting – what 2018’s answer to ‘ghosting’ means for your dating life? ›

Orbiting in dating is when you cut off direct contact with the person you're dating but continue to engage with their content on social media. It's been dubbed “the new ghosting,” and, following an essay by Anna Iovine in 2018, gained more momentum in the pop-culture discourse.

What does orbiting mean in dating? ›

“Orbiting” is a dating trend that describes a situation where someone from your past, often an ex-lover or a person with whom you once shared romantic feelings, maintains a presence in your life, primarily in the online sphere, without engaging in meaningful interaction.

What does ghosting mean in dating? ›

Ghosting is a relatively new colloquial dating term that refers to abruptly cutting off contact with someone without giving that person any warning or explanation for doing so. Even when the person being ghosted reaches out to re-initiate contact or gain closure, they're met with silence.

Why orbiting is killing your relationship and how to make it stop? ›

The presence of an ex or a romantic interest in one's virtual space can create feelings of confusion or discomfort. It can also lead to jealousy or insecurity. It is essential to communicate openly with your current partner about any concerns or feelings that arise due to orbiting.

What is orbiting instead of ghosting? ›

' This is a new term, coined by Man Repeller writer Anna Lovine. The word is being used to describe the feeling when a relationship breaks down between you and a romantic partner and you all-but-remove yourselves from each other's lives; yet somehow their presence remains conspicuously in your social media orbit.

Why is he orbiting me after ghosting? ›

They want to see what your reaction is to them ghosting you. How fast are you going to get over them, what you're going to do and how you're going to do it. I can't think of any other reason other than that.

What is paperclipping in dating? ›

a situation where someone you have dated suddenly sends you a message after a long period of time, then disappears again. Additional Information. "'Paperclipping' is the latest dating trend to be given an official name, following the likes of 'Kondo-ing', 'Masturdating' and 'Fishing'.

Does ghosting mean the relationship is over? ›

Ghosting is abruptly ending communication with someone without explanation. The concept most often refers to romantic relationships but can also describe disappearances from friendships and the workplace. People respond to being ghosted in many ways, from feeling indifferent to deeply betrayed.

What does ghosting do to a guy? ›

Ghosting takes away the opportunity to talk and process, which can allow healing. But without conversation, it can cause someone to question their worth, what they did wrong and [if] the person ever really like[d] them. This can lead to trauma and other severe emotions like depression or anxiety.”

How does the ghoster feel after ghosting someone? ›

Some ghosters feel guilty about cutting off contact abruptly, especially if they had a close or long-term relationship with the ghostee. If the ghoster can self-reflect, they may realize that they hurt the other person and regret their behavior. They might try to make amends or ask for a second chance.

What he thinks when you don t contact him? ›

He might even go so far as to think you're already seeing someone else if he can't get in touch or see you on social media. This is a very uncomfortable time for him. He's struggling to understand why you're not responding to his texts, or what you might be feeling in return.

What is Breadcrumbing in dating? ›

Breadcrumbing refers to a form of manipulation — whether intentional or not — involving one person “feigning interest and acting as though they feel sincerely interested and invested in a relationship with another person when they are not,” said Dr.

How do you respond to orbiting a guy? ›

Dealing with Being Orbited: If you're being orbited and feel uncomfortable or confused, it's essential to set boundaries. You can have a direct conversation with the person orbiting you to express your boundaries or take indirect actions such as blocking or unfriending them to protect your emotional well-being.

Why do guys do orbiting? ›

Mostly, orbiting gives the perpetrator a fake sense of comfort — the feeling that their former lover is still on their radar. The concept of orbiting is gaining tremendous popularity, especially online, because of the increased interconnectedness between dating apps and social media.

Is orbiting a power move? ›

Orbiting is a power move when the person doing it knows full well that you will see their name at the top of your list of views.

Should you block an orbiter? ›

How do you deal with orbiters? And if one of your exes is orbiting you? If it's truly bothering you, feel free to mute or block them; if it's just the occasional like or fave, unless you're actually interested in reinitiating contact or getting back together, don't respond in kind.

What does orbiting a girl mean? ›

Orbiting: When someone has cut off communication with a person, or they have made it clear that they are not interested in pursuing a relationship, yet they continue to interact with that person on social media, usually through views and likes.

How do I know if someone is orbiting me? ›

Orbiting is when someone you've dated isn't interested anymore, but keeps watching your social media stories and liking your posts. Why? Experts say you may never know so let it go.

What does it mean when a guy is orbiting? ›

Orbiting in dating is when you cut off direct contact with the person you're dating but continue to engage with their content on social media.

Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: Kieth Sipes

Last Updated:

Views: 6484

Rating: 4.7 / 5 (67 voted)

Reviews: 90% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Kieth Sipes

Birthday: 2001-04-14

Address: Suite 492 62479 Champlin Loop, South Catrice, MS 57271

Phone: +9663362133320

Job: District Sales Analyst

Hobby: Digital arts, Dance, Ghost hunting, Worldbuilding, Kayaking, Table tennis, 3D printing

Introduction: My name is Kieth Sipes, I am a zany, rich, courageous, powerful, faithful, jolly, excited person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.