When's the last time you wanted to shout at someone to “GET TO THE POINT”?
We've all found ourselves on the receiving end of someone's long drawn-out explanation or story. Maybe in these situations, you're able to maintain your friendly and interested composure. Yet, your internal dialogue doesn't quite match. There's a whole other conversation going on in your head of things you'd like to say but don't. So how do you tactfully tell someone to get to the point?
If you're anything like me, you might be saying to yourself, “Please get to the freakin' point already!” Of course, it's a terrible idea to say this to a client. It's also not a great rapport builder with the important people in your life even when you have more leeway to make these types of requests.
One of the blessings and sometimes curse of my work in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), is that I learned how to help someone without needing every little detail. I usually only need the basic information and the non-verbals (eye-accessing cues, body language, etc.) in order to get to work. This is a blessing because the process can be quick and yet powerful. The curse is that I start to lose patience with someone when they drone on and on.
When someone can get to the point quickly, it's much more satisfying for the listener.
Unfortunately, many people struggle to articulate their thoughts. Depending on their thinking strategy, it may take sometime to get the words out.
As an entrepreneur one of my most precious resources is time. That's likely the same for you. We all have the same finite number of minutes each day. When someone's eating up your coveted minutes you've got to be ready to put a stop to it. Yelling, “Get to the point” is rarely an appropriate response.
The last thing you want is toleave someone feeling shamed and/or thinking you're a total jerk.
Instead, gracefully help them get to the point by using a simple statement.
You'll be able to say this and maintain rapport at the time time.
First, consider how important the relationship is to you. When it's a client or an important person in your life, keep in mind, the relationship is the priority. This is one of those statements where “How” you say it, is going to play a big role in the response you receive. Second, in a kind voice, say, “Please take all the time you need in the next (insert a time frame i.e. 30 seconds, 1 minute, 2 minutes) to share the important details of the situation.
By attaching a time frame, you give the other person some boundaries to try to stay within. This statement implies that you're still engaged AND that may change once the time frame expires. They're much more likely to prioritize what they're saying and be more succinct.
For those of you feeling like the statement above is too direct, here's a second option, say, “I'm so interested in what you're saying and due to our limited time together, please share the most important details about the situation.”
Keep in mind, the person may decide that every detail is important. You might not save yourself much if any time with the less direct statement.
Give it a try and see how people respond.
When you get a positive response, notice what tone you used and your body language. Using that same tone and body language the next time around will likely get you the same positive results.
Wishing you continued success this week.
Agree? Disagree? Additional comments or thoughts on this article? Please share.
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As an expert in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), I bring a deep understanding of human communication and behavior, particularly in the context of effective communication and interpersonal skills. My expertise extends to decoding non-verbal cues, such as eye-accessing patterns and body language, to gain valuable insights into individuals' thought processes and emotions.
In the provided article on the importance of getting to the point in communication, the author touches upon several key concepts related to effective communication and relationship management. Let's break down the essential elements discussed in the article:
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Communication Frustrations: The article addresses a common frustration many people experience when faced with lengthy explanations or stories. The need for succinct communication is emphasized, especially in situations where time is a valuable resource.
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Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP): The author introduces the concept of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) as a tool to understand and assist others without requiring every detail. NLP involves analyzing non-verbal cues, thinking strategies, and basic information to facilitate quick and powerful communication.
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Time Management: Time is highlighted as a precious resource, particularly for entrepreneurs. The article suggests that individuals should be prepared to stop someone from consuming excessive time without resorting to inappropriate or rude responses.
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Tactful Communication: The importance of tactful communication is stressed, especially when dealing with clients or important individuals in one's life. The article provides two examples of statements that can be used to guide the conversation toward the essential details without causing offense.
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Setting Boundaries: The article recommends attaching a time frame to the request for information, allowing the speaker to prioritize and be more concise. This approach helps set boundaries without compromising the relationship.
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Alternate Communication Option: An alternative, less direct statement is provided for those who may find the first approach too assertive. However, it is noted that this approach may not save much time if the person believes every detail is important.
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Observational Learning: The article encourages readers to pay attention to the tone and body language used when receiving a positive response to the communication strategy. This suggests a form of observational learning for replicating successful communication approaches.
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Call to Action: The article concludes with a call to action, inviting readers to join the Sales Maven Society, offering a platform for collaboration and guidance on sales-related challenges.
In summary, the article combines elements of effective communication, time management, and interpersonal skills, drawing on the expertise of the author in NLP and business communication. The provided communication strategies aim to address the universal challenge of guiding conversations to the point without damaging relationships.
