Why Self-Denial? (2024)

“If anyone would come after me,he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Mark 8:34).

Self-denial can never be defined as some profusion – be it ever so great – of individual acts of self-torment or of asceticism. It is not suicide, since there, too, a person’s self-will can yet assert itself. Self-denial means knowing only Christ, and no longer oneself. It means seeing only Christ, who goes ahead of us, and no longer the path that is too difficult for us. Again, self-denial is saying only: He goes ahead of us; hold fast to him…

The first suffering we must experience is the call sundering our ties to this world. This is the death of the old human being in the encounter with Jesus Christ. Whoever enters discipleship enters Jesus’ death, and puts his or her own life into death; this has been so from the beginning. The cross is not the horrible end of a pious, happy life, but stands rather at the beginning of community with Jesus Christ. Every call of Christ leads to death. Whether with the first disciples we leave home and occupation in order to follow him, or whether with Luther we leave the monastery to enter a secular profession, in either case, the one death awaits us, namely, death in Jesus Christ, the dying away of our old form of being human in Jesus’ call.

The cross is not the horrible end of a pious, happy life, but stands rather at the beginning of community with Jesus Christ.

But there is yet another suffering and yet another disgrace that no Christian escapes. Only Christ’s own suffering is the suffering of reconciliation. Yet because Christ did suffer for the sake of the world’s sins, because the entire burden of sin fell upon him, and because Jesus Christ bequeaths to the disciples the fruit of his suffering – because of all this, temptation and sin also fall upon the disciples. It covers them with pure shame, and expels them from the gates of the city like the scapegoat. Thus does the Christian come to bear sin and guilt for others.

Individual Christians would collapse under the weight of this, were they not themselves borne by him who bore all sins. In this way, however, they can, in the power of Christ’s own suffering, overcome all the sins that fall upon them by forgiving them. Thus do Christians become the bearers of burdens: “Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2). Just as Christ bears our burdens, so also are we to bear the burdens of our brothers and sisters. The law of Christ which must be fulfilled is the bearing of the cross. The burden of my brother or sister that I am to bear is not only that person’s external fate, that person’s character and personality, but is in a very real sense that person’s sin. I cannot bear it except by forgiving it, in the power of the cross of Christ in which I, too, have a portion.

Discipleship is commitment to the suffering Christ.

Those who are not prepared to take up the cross, those who are not prepared to give their life to suffering and rejection by others, lose community with Christ, and are not disciples. Discipleship is commitment to the suffering Christ.

Whether we really have found God’s peace will be shown by how we deal with the sufferings that will come upon us. There are many Christians who do, indeed, kneel before the cross of Jesus Christ, and yet reject and struggle against every tribulation in their own lives. They believe they love the cross of Christ, and yet they hate that cross in their own lives. And so in truth they hate the cross of Jesus Christ as well, and in truth despise that cross and try by any means possible to escape it.

Those who acknowledge that they view suffering and tribulation in their own lives only as something hostile and evil can see from this very fact that they have not at all found peace with God. They have basically merely sought peace with the world, believing possibly that by means of the cross of Jesus Christ they might best come to terms with themselves and with all their questions, and thus find inner peace of the soul. They have used the cross, but not loved it. They have sought peace for their own sake. But when tribulation comes, that peace quickly flees them. It was not peace with God, for they hated the tribulation God sends.

Whether we really have foundGod’s peace will be shown by how we deal with the sufferings that will come upon us.

Thus those who merely hate tribulation, renunciation, distress, defamation, imprisonment in their own lives, no matter how grandiosely they may otherwise speak about the cross, these people in reality hate the cross of Jesus and have not found peace with God. But those who love the cross of Jesus Christ, those who have genuinely found peace in it, now begin to love even the tribulations in their lives, and ultimately will be able to say with scripture, “We also boast in our sufferings.”

See alsoWas Bonhoeffer Willing to Kill?a book review by Charles E. Moore.

Excerpted from Bread and Wine: Readings for Lent and Easter.

Why Self-Denial? (1) Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Why Self-Denial? (2)

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Why Self-Denial? (2024)

FAQs

Why Self-Denial? ›

Self-denial is simply a way of coming to understand that we do not have to have our own way. Our happiness is not dependent upon getting what we want. Self-denial does not mean the loss of our identity as some suppose. Without our identity we could not even be subject to each other.

What causes self-denial? ›

Self-denial is sometimes related to inhibitory control and emotional self-regulation, the positives of which are dealt with in those articles. As people grow accustomed to material goods they often experience hedonic adaptation, whereby they get used to the finer things and are less inclined to savor daily pleasures.

Why do I always deny myself? ›

In scenario, at some point of time you'd develop the thoughts of self denying due to the fear of yet another failure. In short, too much of restrictions and too much of freedom would lead you to self denying many things in life. As the old saying goes, too much of anything isn't good for your health.

How do you overcome self-denial? ›

The antidote to toxic self-denial is to develop and nurture a healthy sense of self. A healthy sense of self includes knowing who you are, what you feel, and what you need, and being able to ask for it directly. A healthy sense of self allows you to prioritize yourself while still loving and caring for others.

What is the psychology behind denial? ›

Denial is a type of defense mechanism that involves ignoring the reality of a situation to avoid anxiety. Defense mechanisms are strategies that people use to cope with distressing feelings. In the case of denial, it can involve not acknowledging reality or denying the consequences of that reality.

Is self-denial a mental illness? ›

To be clear, denial is not a mental disorder; however, people often mistakenly believe that anosognosia is denial.

What is it called when you deny yourself? ›

Asceticism is rigorous self-denial, particularly the rejection of the pleasures of the world. If you don't drink, smoke, eat sugar, see movies, use the internet, or have a cell phone, then you are already practicing a kind of asceticism.

What is self-denial called? ›

renunciation of your own interests in favor of the interests of others. synonyms: abnegation, denial, self-abnegation, self-renunciation. type of: forgoing, forswearing, renunciation. the act of renouncing; sacrificing or giving up or surrendering (a possession or right or title or privilege etc.)

What does denying yourself look like? ›

Denying yourself is surrendering to Jesus' lead instead of following yours. Surrendering your plans, your desires, your wants to follow him. Allowing him to be the center of your life, not just an addition to your life. Denying yourself is a gift that opens your life to all God has for you.

What does the Bible say about self-denial? ›

Jesus said, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me” (Mt. 16:24, emphasis added).

What does the Bible say about denying yourself? ›

But Jesus Himself spoke this way about following Him when He said, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24).

How did Jesus practice self-denial? ›

He is the supreme model of the self-denial to which He calls others. He even denies Himself any urge to avenge Himself or to threaten His persecutors for what they had done to Him. In Jesus' example, we see that, by committing ourselves to God who judges rightly, we deny ourselves the temptation of worldly lusts.

What are common examples of denial? ›

A few of the most common forms of denial: “All of my friends drink more than I do.” “I'm too successful to have a drinking problem.” And “I only use when…” Recognizing instances of denial and misdirection is an important first step in acknowledging the problem and seeking help.

What is an example sentence for self-denying? ›

Meaning of self-denying in English

She was brought up to be virtuous and self-denying. Even self-denying tree-huggers need clothes. However, there was no such self-denying restraint in 1981.

What is an example of a person who denied themselves in the Bible? ›

Another example of self-denial is displayed by Mary. Informed that she would give birth to the saviour of the world she responded, 'I am the Lord's servant ... may it be to me as you have said. ' (Luke 1:38) In these words, Mary echoes the sentiments of the Lord's prayer, 'Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

What does it mean to live in self-denial? ›

Meaning of self-denial in English

a decision not to do or have something you want, esp. because it is good for you not to do or have it: He felt he had wasted his youth in self-denial.

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