Why Don't People Say "You're Welcome" Anymore? (2024)

An etiquette expert weighs in on the decline of this formerly common phrase.

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"Of course!" "No problem!" "Sure thing!"

We've all heard—and used—these phrases to respond to "thank you," but what ever happened to saying "you're welcome"?

In the past several decades, there seems to have been a decline in the use of the phrase in casual conversation. It would be easy to blame millennials for this linguistic phenomenon; after all, we've already accused them of killing off napkins, fabric softener, and bar soap. But etiquette experts believe that the reason for the shift isn't because of generational tendencies, lazy behavior, or even rudeness. The decline of saying "you're welcome" actually comes from something quite surprising: a desire to be more considerate.

"Unfortunately, certain behaviors are often considered to be over-the-top instead of accepted as proper manners," Maryanne Parker, founder of Manor of Manners and author of Posh Overnight: The 10 Pillars of Social Etiquette, tells CountryLiving.com. She explained that "you're welcome"—a phrase that is meant to be courteous—is sometimes perceived as insincere or snarky.

"Comedians were among the first to capitalize on the sarcastic potential of 'you’re welcome,' making it a punch line simply by removing the setup," wrote The New York Times’ Amanda Hess. Following that ironic take on the expression, a cultural shift has made it common to say "you're welcome" for no reason at all—signaling that no thanks are necessary because you're already aware of how great you are.

Still, Parker affirms that it's not what you say, but how you say it. The expression "you're welcome" may not be the problem, but it could be the delivery. A person's tone of voice and body language largely expresses their true feelings—and these nonverbal cues should be used in conjunction with speech to indicate when you really are happy to do something for someone else.

When the phrase is exclaimed in the absence of thanks, as comedians have made popular, it is obviously rude. When used graciously, "you're welcome" is a perfectly polite form of expression.

"'No worries, sure, of course, and no problem'" are acceptable in a more casual atmosphere and among close friends and family," Parker explains. "But I always prefer the traditional way of saying 'You are welcome.' The rest of the words sound too generic."

On the receiving end, Parker says we should not be sensitive when we express appreciation and the other party says "you're welcome." Accepting the phrase will help others feel more comfortable saying it—and prevent it from going extinct.

Why Don't People Say "You're Welcome" Anymore? (5)

Kelly O'Sullivan

Senior Editor

Kelly O’Sullivan is the senior editor for The Pioneer Woman and manages the website’s social channels, in addition to overseeing content strategy and news.

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Why Don't People Say "You're Welcome" Anymore? (2024)

FAQs

Why Don't People Say "You're Welcome" Anymore? ›

While older generations might interpret this shift as a sign of a decay in manners, many young people view responses like "OK" or "Mm-hmm" as more courteous than the traditional "You're welcome." The change may signal that the younger generations are actually kinder than the older ones.

Why does no one say your welcome anymore? ›

Older people tend to say “you're welcome,” younger people tend to say “no problem.” This is because for older people the act of helping or assisting someone is seen as a task that is not expected of them, but is them doing extra, so it's them saying, “I accept your thanks because I know I deserve it.”

What does it mean when someone doesn't say you're welcome? ›

The answer likely has to do with the fact that “thank you” is often used for very routine favors (like handing someone a coffee or telling them the time) and to close down conversations. In such cases, the traditional “you're welcome” can seem to be too formal or even a bit gloating.

Why is it rude to say you're welcome? ›

Though he acknowledged "you're welcome" might be the textbook response to "thank you," it "can sometimes feel a little passive-aggressive," he said, adding, "it has this implication of, 'I know, you should be thanking me. '"

Why are people saying "of course" instead of "you're welcome"? ›

'Of course' by itself means obvious, expected. So when someone says 'of course' instead of 'you're welcome', the feeling is “it's obvious that I would do that because I want to do that'. It's friendly. It's a friendly way to say it.

Why don't Gen Z say you're welcome? ›

While older generations might interpret this shift as a sign of a decay in manners, many young people view responses like "OK" or "Mm-hmm" as more courteous than the traditional "You're welcome." The change may signal that the younger generations are actually kinder than the older ones.

Is saying you're welcome pretentious? ›

But to a more casual “thanks,” “you're welcome” might come across as snarky while “no problem” doesn't have, well, the same problem. So, yes, there might be some sarcasm behind the “you're welcome,” but don't lose hope; there is often still a lot of gratitude, too. Aijmer, Karin. 1996.

How important is it to say you're welcome? ›

When you do a favor, and someone says “thank you,” the automatic response is “you're welcome.” It's a basic rule of politeness, and it signals that you accept the expression of gratitude—or that you were happy to help.

How do you respond when someone doesn't thank you? ›

If the person brushes off your question or does not respond with a “thank you,” try not to let it bother you. Work on ending the conversation on a positive note, even if you did not get the thanks you wanted. For example, you may say to the person, “It bothers me that you do not show thanks for the gift.

Is it rude to not acknowledge a thank you? ›

Responding to a “thank you” email is considered discretionary. Consider your personality and your audience. If you are a chatty person in face to face conversations, it may be best to respond to a “thank you” email. However, if you are not very outgoing, you can probably get away without a response.

What is better than saying you're welcome? ›

A few casual alternatives include no worries, no problem, and anytime. No worries. I'm happy to help! No problem.

Is you're welcome passive-aggressive? ›

According to many, replying with 'you're welcome' comes off as rude to many people, so they use alternative phrasing. 'It can sometimes feel a little passive-aggressive,' TikTok user Arjuna explained in a clip. 'It has this implication of, "I know, you should be thanking me."'

Is you're welcome sarcastic? ›

“You're welcome” is the common response to “Thank you.” When “You're welcome” is said sarcastically, it's typically because the “Thank you” was never said. The sarcastic “You're welcome” is really an example of irony: due to your lack of gratitude, you're not welcome. But it does depend on the context.

Why does Gen Z not say thank you? ›

Today, manners have become less common in Generation Z because they simply don't see a need for them. But manners are the most important courtesy in human behavior. Many people think of manners as the classic “please and thank you,” but there are so many ways to display manners, more than I can count.

How do you say you're welcome in a classy way? ›

Formal Ways to Say “You're Welcome”
  1. My pleasure.
  2. I'm happy to help.
  3. I'm glad to help.
  4. I'm happy to be of assistance.
  5. Happy to be of service.
  6. I'm sure you'd do the same for me.
  7. The pleasure is mine.
  8. You're most welcome.
Sep 28, 2023

Why do people get mad when you say "no problem"? ›

Some people can't stand it when you say "no problem" because this reply suggests that the person speaking to you thinks that their request is a problem—one they're asking you to solve. This puts that person on the defensive, thinking: "I know it's no problem. I'm not asking you for a favor. This is your job!"

Do Americans not say you're welcome? ›

Millie admitted that there is a divide on this between younger and older Americans — while the older ones still tend to say, “you're welcome,” younger ones do often go the “yep” route. But it's not meant to be rude or dismissive.

When did No Problem replace You're Welcome? ›

The sub-class of phatic expressions involving “you're welcome” and “no problem” is known as minimizers, and “no problem” is indeed newer (although it seems to date to the 1980s, so it's not a perfect correlation with Millennials).

Is it right to say you're welcome? ›

The correct phrase is you're welcome. Keep in mind that you're is a contraction that stands for you are. Thus, you're welcome = you are welcome.

Is it no longer welcome or no longer welcomed? ›

"no longer welcomed" is correct and usable in written English. You can use it when you want to indicate that someone is not receiving the same welcome or acceptance they used to. Example: The new students were initially welcomed, but now they are no longer welcomed by the existing student body.

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