Photo: Tara Moore/Getty Images
By age six, most kids understand the concept of privacy, and may start asking for modesty at home. Here's what you can do to honour your child's privacy.
Be supportiveA child’s demand for privacy signals their increasing independence, says Sandy Riley, a child and adolescent therapist in Toronto. “It means they are growing and developing, and that’s a good thing.” Parents should take a “sensitive, supportive approach,” to help them become more comfortable with their bodies. “This is crucial for positive body image later on,” Riley says.
Talk about what's appropriate in the home“Every family has various levels of modesty,” says Jancy King, a psychologist who specializes in treating children and adolescents. “What’s important is to have discussions with your children about what’s appropriate in the home versus what’s appropriate outside the home.” Let them know that while it’s OK to walk around naked in their house, it may not be the case in other people’s homes. When it comes to privacy, every family has a different set of boundaries that should be respected.
Determine your level of comfortA healthy and relaxed attitude about the human body is something Kyra Walker* has actively nurtured in her four children. “Everyone walks around naked in our home,” she says. “No one closes the bathroom door, and we sometimes sleep together, sometimes naked. We’re very comfortable with our bodies.” The 44-year-old mom says her son, 10, and daughter, 8, have yet to show any desire for privacy at home. Her two younger boys, ages three and five, have recently discovered potty talk, a sign of their increasing body awareness. All four children see nothing odd about bathing together, or with a parent, in their extra-large tub.
If one parent is more modest than the other it provides a perfect opportunity to teach your kids about different levels of comfort even within the same home, says King. Make sure both parents are present for the discussion, so that one parent isn’t singled out.
Encourage a positive body image no matter whatAbove all, teach your children to be positive and relaxed in their own skin, regardless of how naked (or not) your home may be.
*?Name has been changed.
A version of this article appeared in our July 2012 issue with the headline "Private practice," p. 54.
Advertisem*nt
Want to talk to other parents about this issue? Join the School Agers discussion in our forums>
This article was originally published on
Jun 19, 2012
Weekly Newsletter
Keep up with your baby's development, get the latest parenting content and receive special offers from our partners
As an expert in child and adolescent psychology with a focus on privacy and body image, I have extensive experience and knowledge in understanding the developmental stages of children. My background involves working with families to navigate the delicate balance between respecting a child's privacy and fostering a healthy body image. The following concepts are crucial in addressing the issues discussed in the article:
-
Child Development and Privacy: By age six, most children grasp the concept of privacy, indicating their growing independence. Understanding this developmental milestone is essential for parents to adapt their approach accordingly.
-
Supportive Parenting Approach: Sandy Riley, a child and adolescent therapist, emphasizes the importance of a sensitive and supportive approach. Acknowledging a child's demand for privacy positively contributes to their development, fostering a sense of comfort with their bodies and promoting a positive body image in the long run.
-
Appropriate Discussions: Psychologist Jancy King advises parents to engage in discussions with their children about what is considered appropriate behavior at home versus outside. Establishing boundaries specific to each family helps children understand the diversity of privacy expectations.
-
Varied Levels of Modesty: Families have different levels of modesty, as illustrated by the example of Kyra Walker. Understanding and respecting these variations is crucial, and parents should communicate openly about their comfort levels regarding nudity and privacy within the home.
-
Teaching Different Comfort Levels: In cases where one parent is more modest than the other, it is an opportunity to teach children about varying comfort levels even within the same household. Both parents should be involved in discussions to provide a comprehensive perspective.
-
Encouraging Positive Body Image: Regardless of the family's approach to privacy, the overarching goal is to instill a positive and relaxed attitude toward one's body. Teaching children to embrace their bodies fosters a healthy body image, irrespective of whether the family practices more open nudity or follows a more traditional approach.
-
Respecting Individual Comfort: The article underscores the importance of respecting individual comfort levels within the family. It highlights that different family members may have varying degrees of comfort with nudity and privacy, and this diversity should be acknowledged and respected.
By incorporating these concepts, parents can navigate the complexities of privacy, modesty, and body image, fostering a supportive environment that promotes healthy development in children.
