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I call it the Vague Tax. Along with car registration, home insurance and swimming lessons for the kids, my budget requires a certain allowance for costs incurred while my mind was absent.
Not long ago, I visited an ATM to withdraw $100. I completed the transaction, put my card back in my wallet, my wallet back in my bag, then walked away … leaving the cash on the machine. I realised 10 minutes later and rushed back but it had gone.
Over the years I've left phones in taxis and wallets in cafes, I've let gift cards expire and paid fees on direct debits that bounced because I didn't update the card details.
It's frankly embarrassing and it adds to my sneaking suspicion that, even though I'm now 39, I'm not a real grown-up yet. Yet when I tell my friends, more often than not, they respond with a resounding "Me too!"
My friend Tim – who coined the term Vague Tax – was driving home one evening when he pulled over to let a police car pass. Instead, the cop pulled in behind him and demanded to see his licence.
"You're driving an unregistered vehicle; that's a $637 fine," the cop said. "Licence please."
Turns out, Tim's licence had also expired. "That's another $531 fine," the officer said.
"Oh, I know what happened," Tim said. "I forgot to change my address, so the reminder notice didn't arrive."
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"Don't tell me that, sir. That's another $106 fine."
Tim was forced to abandon his car on the side of the road and walk home, owing nearly $1300 to the state government.
With such an epidemic of forgetfulness sweeping Australia, or at least my Gen X cohort, it's no wonder that adult colouring books promising "mindfulness" are so hot right now.
Only I fear if I succumbed to the craze, I would forget where I put the book, my colouring pens or pencils, and it would add to the clutter in my life. Living with my four-year-old twins and their passion for art and craft means I am not short on clutter.
And surely reducing clutter, both physical and mental, is the key to being more mindful? I'm certain that wasting money on another tchotchke is not going to help.
When I was growing up, no one talked about mindfulness. No one except my Buddhist mother that is, and I was embarrassed when she did. (Sorry, mum.)
Now, like fitness before it, mindfulness has become an industry. The only problem is that mindfulness is not something you can buy.
It is free if you take the time to breathe and focus on right now. It's free if you choose to reduce busyness rather than wear it as a badge of pride. In fact, if the benefits include paying less Vague Tax, it's better than free.
Meanwhile, if you ever realise you've left your money behind at an ATM, call your bank to lodge a dispute straight away. It turns out that most ATMs will swallow any unclaimed money within a few minutes, and the discrepancy will show up when the machine is balanced at the end of the day.
If no one came along immediately behind you, you stand a good chance of getting your money back.
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