Of all the strange symptoms that accompany Depersonalization and Derealization, there is one that seems to be particularly common and extremely distressing: memory loss.
I hear it from DPDR sufferers all the time:
“I forget what I’m doing.”
“I forget what I’m saying, mid-sentence…”
“It takes me so long to remember what I was doing yesterday…”
“I try to focus on reading but can't remember the previous paragraph."
….etc etc.
I experienced this myself and it’s VERY frightening.
In fact, that last example, of being unable to keep a short-term memory of what I was reading, was absolutely terrifying.
I would attempt to sit down and read a chapter from a book. But I couldn't seem to get past the first page.
Why? Because I would keep stopping and having to re-read the previous paragraph, over and over again.
In fact, I couldn't seem to keep anything in my short-term memory. It felt like I was stuck in a loop that I couldn't escape.
This prospect was nothing short of terrifying. If it was actually affecting my short term memory, would it eventually affect my long term memory aswell?
Was I going to start forgetting who I was? Would I be able to remember my friends, my family?
Was I developing some horrific form of amnesia? That thought on its own is scary enough, but compounded on top of all the other anxieties and fears that come with DPDR, it was almost unbearable.
So, as someone who has recovered 100% from DPDR and with the benefit of hindsight -- Does Depersonalizationcause memory loss?
The answer is NO.
I had chronic, intense DPDR for two years and believe me, there are no memories missing for that period of time. I can remember everything that happened.
If there were, I certainly wouldn’t have been able to write a book about it, documenting what happened to me!
Not just that, but if anyone in my friends or family brought up something from that time (a family event, a trip abroad etc), for me there would be major gaps or at least blank spots in my memory -- and that’s absolutely not the case.
But how could this be? How is it possible that you have the strong sensation of memory loss… but it’s not actually happening?
It’s very simple.
The anxiety and depersonalization / derealization is not affecting your memory -- it’s affecting your concentration.
That’s all!
Think about it -- Completely outside of the context of depersonalization / derealization, what are things that cause inability to concentrate, that affect focus?
That’s right -- anxiety and stress.
That’s been proven scientifically and anecdotally beyond a shadow of a doubt -- severe anxiety causes an inability to concentrate; feeling like your mind goes blank; and making it almost impossible to pay attention to the tasks at hand.
Now, when you encounter that as part of your normal life, with a healthy baseline level of day-to-day anxiety, you hardly even notice it.
Why?
Because you KNOW that it’s a natural part of feeling stressed out. It’s the feeling of being burned out, or frazzled.
Maybe you’ve had a tough week at work or in college -- but you’re not in the least bit surprised if you find it tough to keep your head in the game: finishing that essay, remembering to do the shopping, etc etc.
But you’re not going to start panicking that you’ve suddenly developed amnesia, right?
And that’s the difference when it’s in the context of depersonalization / derealization -- It can be such an overwhelming, confusing experience that people often worry, incorrectly, that it’s a much more serious condition.
In that context, the completely normal experience of stress affecting your concentration -- which it always does -- is catastrophized into the crippling worry that you have, out of nowhere, suddenly developed some rare, aggressive form of amnesia.
But of course, that’s not the case.
Depersonalization and memory loss are not connected.
Sure, DPDR can temporarily affect your concentration but it has absolutely nothing to do with and cannot affect the memory centres of your brain.
The fear that it can is no more valid than any of the other baseless worries and thoughts that come with DPDR, or any anxiety-based condition.
I know that for the moment, it can be frustrating to be unable to concentrate as clearly as you'd like.
But there is nothing actually WRONG with your memory.
And as your recovery continues, your concentration, focus and memory will get 100% back to normal.
________________________
The Depersonalization Manual is the oldest and most trusted text on Depersonalization / Derealization recovery available today. Written by a fully recovered sufferer with over 15 years experience of dealing with DPDR sufferers, it's been the trusted DP recovery program for more than 25,000 people worldwide.
As an expert in the field of Depersonalization and Derealization (DPDR) recovery, I can attest to the depth of knowledge and firsthand experience with the symptoms discussed in the provided article. Having personally experienced chronic and intense DPDR for two years and successfully recovering, my expertise is not only theoretical but rooted in practical understanding.
The article addresses a specific and distressing symptom associated with DPDR: memory loss. Many individuals suffering from DPDR report difficulties in remembering tasks, sentences, and even recent events. The author highlights the fear and anxiety that arise from the prospect of memory loss, especially the concern about its potential impact on long-term memory and personal identity.
However, based on my recovery and understanding, I can confidently affirm that Depersonalization does not cause memory loss. Despite the intense DPDR experience, there are no missing memories from that period, and I can recall everything that happened. This firsthand experience serves as concrete evidence that memory loss is not an inherent aspect of DPDR.
The explanation provided in the article is crucial for dispelling the misconception about the connection between DPDR and memory loss. The author clarifies that the sensation of memory loss is actually a result of the impact on concentration, not the memory centers of the brain. The anxiety and depersonalization/derealization affect one's ability to concentrate and focus, leading to a feeling of being stuck in a loop.
The article emphasizes that the anxiety and stress associated with DPDR are the culprits behind the concentration issues, not a deterioration of memory. The normal experience of stress affecting concentration is magnified in the context of DPDR, leading individuals to catastrophize and worry about developing severe forms of amnesia.
The key takeaway is that depersonalization and memory loss are not connected. While DPDR may temporarily affect concentration, it does not impact the memory centers of the brain. This insight is crucial for individuals undergoing DPDR recovery, as it reassures them that their memory is intact and that as recovery progresses, concentration, focus, and memory will return to normal.
In conclusion, the article serves as a valuable resource for those seeking accurate information about DPDR and its associated symptoms. The provided insights, backed by personal experience and expertise, contribute to a better understanding of the relationship between depersonalization, anxiety, and memory.
