The first person I heard refer totheir child as ‘mama’ was a friend I metata prenatal yoga class when I was pregnant with my daughter six years ago.
Afterthe babies were born, I would hear her croon to her daughter as sheput onher tiny snow suit, ready forthe bitter New York winteroutside: ‘Come onmama; let’s gomama.’
She does know it was she who gave birth to the child and not the other way around, Iwouldwonder.
To begin withI didn’t think much of thissomewhatidiosyncratic nickname.And then I began to hear other womenuseittoo, tiny babies and energetic toddlers referred to with the bafflingly inappropriatemoniker‘mama.’
It was when I heard a mother in the librarytellingher two-year-old son – yep, as in male child, not female adult: ‘Good job,mama,’ that I decided tolook intothisbizarre new linguisticphenomenon.
Chaton message boardson sites likeWhatToExpectandQuora
But my friend Michelleisn’t Hispanic– she’sItalian;her husbandis Jewish.And I’d noticed ‘mama’ being used by women of all ages, classes and races.
And then, like a mutating diseasetransmogrifying intoa new species, ‘mama’ took another giant evolutionary leap.
Walking down First Avenue on my way to the dentist, a grocery driver stepped into the bike lane and was nearly run over by a delivery man on a bicycle. ‘Hey, mama, watch out,’ he shouted after the cyclist’s broad – male – frame.Wait, men can be ‘mama’ too?
And then on my favorite guilty pleasure TV show,Top Chef, at the dramatic peakof an episode in which one contestant was attempting to apologize forbetraying another to the judgesover the use ofpre-made waffle batter, the squealer began: ‘Mama, I’m sorry…’ ‘Don’t you “mama” me’, the othersnappedback.
Neither contestant was related toeithereach other or to any small children.Instead itwas clearthe contestants both understood – and expected the viewers toappreciate–that ‘mama’ wasnowsynonymous with ‘sweet heart,’ or ‘darling,’ or even ‘buddy.’
Like ‘like,’ it seems ‘mama’ hasbecome, like, both ubiquitousandincontinent – and thereforeultimately meaningless.
It’s so illogical it’s positivelyOrwellian: war is peace, freedom is slavery, ignorance is strength– and childrenaremamas.
But wait –are we really going tolet go of ‘mama’ as easily asallthat?
It was the late Russian linguist Roman Jakobson who established that ‘mama’ is a universal term for ‘mother,’ derived from the sound virtually all babies make when trying out what will soon become early speech. While there are numerous words in languages all over the world for ‘mother,’ – from ‘haha’ in Japanese, to ‘um’ in Arabic and ‘maan’ inHindi–the babies have alreadypickedtheir owncommon term: ‘mama’.
Theflame ofjoyevery parentexperienceswhenthe small,much-loved but essentially mysterious creature they are sharing a home with displays a first flicker of recognition by referring to themas ‘mama’ or ‘dada’ is also universal.It makes you want to scream it from the roof tops: ‘They know who I am! They love me back!’
No one’s giving away ‘dada’ any time soon– so why are werelinquishingour precious ‘mama’ socarelessly?
Babies use ‘mama’ to describe the woman who(in most cases)grew them in their bodies, went through the wonder of birth with them, nourished and held and loved andcherishedthem. It’s the word they choose all by themselves to describe the person they consider the centerof their world.
SoI’m with theTop Chefcontestant: unless you are among the miniscule proportion of the world’s population that I actually gave birth to, please don’t call me ‘mama’.
