The Dinner Party Etiquette Rules All Guests Should Follow (2024)

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The Dinner Party Etiquette Rules All Guests Should Follow (2)

You've been invited to the dinner party. It may be a casual, laid-back gathering of long-time friends, or it could be more formal occasion like a fundraising event or an awards ceremony. Much work goes into hosting a dinner party. That's why, as guests, we have a responsibility to conduct ourselves in a polite manner. Following basic rules of etiquette as a dinner party guest increases your chances of being invited back, says Jacqueline Whitmore, etiquette expert and author of Business Class: Etiquette Essentials for Success at Work. "You will make a good impression on your hosts and other guests," she says. "Your kindness will [also] be remembered."

Even if such social soirées tend to make you feel uncomfortable, remember that you don't have to know everyone seated at the table or be the star of the evening in order to make a good impression. "The whole point of a dinner party is to partake in a meal while enjoying the company of others," says Jodi R. R. Smith, president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. "There is a tremendous amount of work that goes into planning a party (along with cleaning, shopping, arranging, cooking, and more cleaning). A gracious guest assists in making the interaction pleasant for all involved." Follow these etiquette rules if you want to be the ideal guest and earn that second invitation.

The RSVP

It's official: you're invited. Now, it's important that you answer the RSVP as soon as possible. Your host needs to know how many people will be attending the party in order to properly plan for it. It's a good idea to advise the host of any dietary restrictions or allergies that you may have. "When given advance notice, the host has the time to accommodate," says Smith. "Keep in mind that not all hosts are also gourmet chefs. If you have a difficult dietary restriction, offer to bring a dish to make hosting you a bit easier."

The Arrival

Don't neglect the start time listed on your invitation: You shouldn't arrive too early or too late. "Arrive on time," says Whitmore. Avoid bringing any additional guests that have not been cleared by the host of the dinner party first. If an unexpected plus-one materializes, any gracious host is likely to welcome them in, but "the more, the merrier" is a phrase that does not apply here. She also advises bringing a gift for the host or hostess. When it comes to gifting, Smith suggests the traditional bottle of wine or a box of chocolates. "Or you can take it up a notch by having flowers delivered earlier that day or choosing something tailored to the host," she says.

During the Party

What should you do if you don't know anyone except for the host? Come with a few talking points in mind. "Be prepared with witty stories and interesting tales to keep the conversation lively," Smith says. "But don't monopolize the air-time. Be curious about others and ask engaging questions of others." You also don't need to feel compelled to speak to everyone at the party (especially if it is a large gathering). Participate in conversation that you feel comfortable joining and introduce yourself where appropriate. If you know a few people at the dinner party, they can help you with introductions to other guests. You should also do the same for other guests.

Surviving the Faux Pas

But what should you do if you make a social blunder while at the dinner party? It can certainly happen to the best of us. First and foremost, you do not want to get overly defensive or turn it into a yelling match. "Offer a sincere apology-verbally and/or in writing -as soon as possible," Whitmore says. The longer you wait to apologize, the worse the faux pas becomes. And accidents do happen. It all depends on how you handle the aftermath if you want to be invited to the next dinner party. "If you damage something, offer to repair or replace it," Whitmore says. "Send flowers if necessary."

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The Dinner Party Etiquette Rules All Guests Should Follow (2024)

FAQs

The Dinner Party Etiquette Rules All Guests Should Follow? ›

With so many table manners to keep track, keep these basic, but oh-so-important, table manners in mind as you eat: Chew with your mouth closed. Keep your smartphone off the table and set to silent or vibrate. Wait to check calls and texts until you are finished with the meal and away from the table.

What rules of etiquette will your dinner party have? ›

9 dinner party faux pas you really should know by now
  • Get off your phone. I mean it. ...
  • Don't show up empty handed. ...
  • Don't do the dishes, do help clear the table. ...
  • Approach dicey topics with caution. ...
  • Keep yourself nice. ...
  • Don't show up on time. ...
  • Don't start eating until everyone is seated. ...
  • Kick the keto.
Aug 8, 2023

What are the three most important dining etiquette rules? ›

With so many table manners to keep track, keep these basic, but oh-so-important, table manners in mind as you eat: Chew with your mouth closed. Keep your smartphone off the table and set to silent or vibrate. Wait to check calls and texts until you are finished with the meal and away from the table.

What are the basic dining etiquette? ›

Plates are served on the left and removed from your right. The person closest to the plate should offer to the person on the left, serve themselves, and then pass the food to the right. Always pass to the right, and always include the service plate. Never use your own utensils to serve food out of a communal dish.

What is the proper etiquette when someone invites you to dinner? ›

Whether or not your host makes a toast when everyone sits down at the table, you should follow with a toast of your own. Simple, short, and heartfelt is best — thank them for their friendship, for inviting you into their home, and for taking the time to make the delicious food you're all about to eat.

What are the do's and don'ts of dining etiquette? ›

11 Fine-Dining Etiquette Rules You've Probably Broken Your Whole Life
  • Never lift your menu off the table. ...
  • Once you sip from a glass, you must sip from the exact same place on that glass for the rest of the evening. ...
  • Don't clink. ...
  • Never ask for an oyster fork. ...
  • Keep the rim of your plates as clean as possible.
Jun 17, 2022

What are the 12 basic rules in table manners? ›

12 Dining Etiquette Rules Every Professional Should Know
  • The host should always be in charge. ...
  • Never pull out someone's chair for them. ...
  • Keep pace with your guest. ...
  • Know which utensils to use. ...
  • Use "BMW" to remember where plates and glasses go. ...
  • Always break bread with your hands. ...
  • Know the "rest" and "finished" positions.
Dec 4, 2013

What is the number one breach of etiquette at the dinner table? ›

What is the number-one breach of etiquette at the dinner table? The number one breach of etiquette at the dinner table is slurping soup. Don't slurp your soup from the spoon or the bowl.

What are the three rules of etiquette? ›

All manners traditionally convey one or more of the 3 Principles of Etiquette: Respect, Consideration, and Honesty.

Who gets served first at the dinner table? ›

o It is good dinner table etiquette to serve the lady sitting to the right of the host first, then the other ladies in a clockwise direction, and lastly the gentlemen. o If the food presented to you is not to your liking, it is polite to at least make some attempt to eat a small amount of it.

Why is proper dining etiquette important? ›

Every business meal is an interview, so table manners are essential to your professional success as you give attention to the tiniest of details. Oftentimes little details lead to big opportunities. You want people to focus on what you bring to the table and not what you are doing at the table.

Is it rude to leave the table when someone is still eating? ›

Generally, one should not leave the table before the host or the eldest person finishes his or her food. It is also considered impolite to leave the table without asking for the host's or the elder's permission. Normally whoever completes first will wait for others and after everybody is finished all leave the table.

What not to bring to a dinner party? ›

Asking your host if they need you to bring anything to fill in any gaps is a thoughtful gesture that ensures you bring something that will be appreciated. Avoid scented items like flowers or scented candles (which aren't to everyone's tastes), and don't bring your own dish, which takes attention off the host's cooking.

Who pays for dinner etiquette? ›

If it's a business dinner, whoever does the asking does the paying, says Smith—unless you're two equals who met at a conference and decided to get lunch, in which case you can each pay your own way. On a date, the person who does the asking does the paying as well, says Smith.

How do you deal with rude dinner guests? ›

Take this tip on discretion from Jodi R.R. Smith, an etiquette consultant and author of three books on modern manners based in Boston: “If a host is concerned about confronting a rude guest, the host can do so without embarrassing the guest by asking the guest to 'help in the kitchen' and having the conversation away ...

What is the right etiquette at a party? ›

Your guest should avoid excessive drinking, flirting with coworkers, discussing controversial topics, or monopolizing the buffet table. Remember that your guest's conduct reflects on you, so it's important to ensure they can present themselves appropriately or consider attending the event alone.

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