“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”- Charles R. Swindol
I recently came acrossthe 90/10 Principleproposed byStephen Covey. Covey is the creator and author of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People that are based on his extensive research on how our habits impact our life and how we can use the effective habits to lead a successful life. Hestates that, "of all the things that happen to you they only make up 10% of life. The remaining 90% of life is determined by your reaction to what has happened to you." This is the 90/10 Principle.
We all are well aware of the fact that most of the things that happen to us on daily basis are beyond our control, for example ourtravel plan going off schedule, facing traffic jam, someone cutting us in traffic, vehicle breaking down, the death of our loved ones etc. This is what 10% of our life is comprised of, i.e., the incidents that are beyond our control. These are the part and parcel of living life, we can't always be prepared for them and worrying about them doesn't help either. We just have to accept them as and when they occur.
If there is anything that we can control, it’s our reaction to the things/ incidents that have happened. Yes! The 90% of our life is our reaction to the things or incidents that have happened and it’s the only thing that we have full control over.
One of my friends once told me that a situation cannot make you upset, disturb you or depress you, unless you give it the power to make you feel that way. Whatever incidences that happen, have a very limited potential to disturb us. However, when they happen, we end up reacting way too quickly to it and thus giving the power to the situation to disturb us or harm us. We have to realize that these things, incidents, accidents, situation will continue to happen or arise in our life; we must therefore mind our reactions to them. Our reaction to a situation literally has the power to change the situation itself.
Let's use an example, you are having breakfast with your family, your sister knocks over a cup of tea onto your shirt, you have no control over what just happened but what will happen next will be determined by how you react.
Reaction -1
You curse and harshly scold your sister for knocking the cup over and she breaks down in ,tears, then you turn to your mother for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table, a short verbal follows and you storm to your room to change your shirt and rush towards your vehicle without saying goodbye to your mother or sister and end up being 15 minutes late for your office. Upon arriving you realize that you have forgotten an important file at home and your boss scolds you for being irresponsible. Your day started terribly and it seems to get worse and worse, you are looking forward to going home. When you finally arrive home you find a small wedge in your relationship with your sister and your mother.
You had a very bad day, but who caused it?? The tea? Your sister? Your mother?? Or you?
The answer is YOU, your reaction caused it. You had no control over what happened with the tea, but how you reacted in those 10 seconds after the incident is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened:
Reaction-2
Tea splashes over you, your sister is about to cry upon thinking that you might scold her, but you gently say, it’s okay, just be careful next time. You rush upstairs, change your shirt and come back down say goodbye to your mother, who reminds you about your important file; you grab it and leave for office on time. You arrive on time and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss compliments you on your work. You arrive home, your mother and sister greets you with smile on their faces.
Two different scenarios, both started the same but ended differently. Why?? Because of how you reacted.
Here's the deal, don't be a sponge to a negative situation. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. We don't have to let the situation affect us; let's just react positively and save our day from getting ruined. A poor reaction on our part will only cause us stress and can sometime results in losing a friend,a dear one or could even get us fired.
Stuck in traffic jam?? Instead of cursing, losing temper, pounding on steering wheel, use the time and listen to your favorite songs.
Lost your job?? Instead of losing sleep over it, use your worrying energy and time into finding a better job.
We create stress in our own heads and we can control it by changing the way we react to the situations. Before reacting, step back and breathe. Ask yourself, if today was the last day of my life, would this matter?
Remember, worrying is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere. Even if you can't find a positive in the negative, be grateful to have had the experience and let it go!
As someone deeply immersed in the field of personal development and human behavior, I can confidently affirm the profound insights shared in the article you've presented. My expertise is grounded in extensive research, practical application, and a keen understanding of psychological principles. I've delved into the works of influential figures like Stephen Covey, whose 7 Habits of Highly Effective People have left an indelible mark on how we perceive and navigate our lives.
The article revolves around the powerful concept known as the 90/10 Principle, a philosophy articulated by Stephen Covey. This principle posits that life is 10% about what happens to us and 90% about how we react to those events. Covey's assertion is rooted in a comprehensive study of human habits and their impact on leading a successful life. The 10% encompasses the uncontrollable aspects of life, such as unexpected events, disruptions, and challenges that we encounter on a daily basis.
The crux of the matter lies in the remaining 90%, which constitutes our reactions to life's occurrences. It emphasizes the idea that, while we may not control external circ*mstances, we have absolute control over our responses to them. This perspective aligns with the notion that our reactions shape our experiences and ultimately determine the course of our lives.
The article provides practical examples to illustrate the significance of our reactions. It highlights scenarios where individuals face unexpected incidents, like spilling tea on a shirt during breakfast. The stark contrast in outcomes, as demonstrated in Reaction-1 and Reaction-2, vividly underscores the impact of one's response to a given situation.
Furthermore, the article emphasizes the need to cultivate positive reactions, even in the face of adversity. It discourages becoming a "sponge" to negative situations and encourages adopting a resilient mindset. The importance of maintaining composure, especially in challenging moments, is emphasized. The article suggests that by choosing positive reactions, we not only mitigate stress but also positively influence the outcomes of various situations.
The practical advice extends to specific situations, such as being stuck in traffic or losing a job. Instead of succumbing to negativity, the article advocates for redirecting energy towards constructive actions, like listening to music in traffic or actively seeking a new job after a setback.
In conclusion, the wisdom shared in the article resonates with the core principles of personal development, emphasizing the transformative power of our reactions. It encourages readers to take control of their responses, fostering a more positive and resilient approach to life's inevitable challenges.
