Ten Reasons Why You May Not Want To Be A Billionaire (2024)

Sigmund Freud is said to have confided that if he had to choose between a rich patient and a poor patient, he'd choose the rich one any day. Why? Because the rich patient already knows that money is not the answer to his problems.

Those of us who are less enlightened still imagine that if we owned a plane, a yacht, a garage full of cars, six homes with 150 staff to service us, our levels of contentment would be higher.

That's why it was so illuminating for me to be involved as Executive Producer of the TV series Who'd Be A Billionaire. Talking to Billionaires and the people who support them, completely challenged any pre-conception I may have had that Billions=Contentment.

As the Billionaire Warren Buffet proclaimed, 'Money can't buy happiness, but it will certainly get you a better class of memories.

In my work I have found much anecdotal evidence that the super rich are not super happy, and several acclaimed studies of this group by Boston College’s Center on Wealth and Philanthropy supportts my findings. The Boston studies have consistently found respondents to be a generally dissatisfied lot, whose vast fortunes have contributed to deep anxieties involving love, work, and family. They are often even dissatisfied with the size of their fortunes.

So just in case you occasionally fall into the trap of imagining that the quality of your life might improve with an injection of billions, here are 10 clear reasons why you might not be better off if you were a Billionaire.

1. You would actually worry MORE about Money

It would seem that the only people who worry more about money than the poor are the extraordinarily rich. They worry about losing it, they worry about how it’s invested, they worry about the effect it’s going to have. The anxieties only multiply with the zeroes.

2. You Wouldn't Know Who Your Friends Were

Billionaires confide they feel their relationships have been altered by, and have in some cases become contingent on, their wealth. 'I start to wonder how many people we know would cut us off if they didn’t think they could get something from us.' writes one respondent to the Boston survey. Another respondent added, 'Very few people know the level of my wealth, and if they did, in most cases I believe it would change our relationship.'

3. Many People Will Despise Or Envy You

Especially if you have inherited your fortune, many people will despise or envy you. “Often the word rich becomes a pejorative,”Robert A. Kenny, who has trained as a psychologist and is one of the Boston survey’s architects says, “It rhymes with bitch. I’ve been in rooms and seen people stand up and say, ‘I’m Bob Kenny, and I’m rich.’ And then they burst into tears.”

4. The Structure Work Gives To Your Life Would Not Be There

I know many of us dream of never having to work, but a life without work can easily become one of aimlessness. Advancing along a professional or entrepreneurial path is how we often measure our own success. Without work, it can be hard to assess whether your time has been well spent. “The lucky sperm club" (Warren Buffet's term for the inheritors of wealth) often lack the motivation to accomplish anything in life or to escape the shadows of their parents.

5. You'd Worry More (Not Less) About Your Children

While many billionaires express relief that their kids’ education is secured, they are often worried that money will rob them of ambition. Having money “runs the danger of giving them a perverted view of the world,” one respondent writes. “Money could mess them up—give them a sense of entitlement, prevent them from developing a strong sense of empathy and compassion.” Some worry that their children will become trust-fund brats if their inheritances are too large—or will be forever resentful if those inheritances (or parts of them) are instead bequeathed to charity

6. You'd Compare Your Stuff With What Other Billionaires Have

"They want their yacht to be the best,” says author and journalist Rachel Johnson, “and it causes them genuine pain when some other dude’s yacht comes in and it’s bigger. They feel they’ve failed. Even though they’ve got an enormous, f@@@ off sized yacht!”

7. Gifts Would Lose Their Meaning

Imagine a world where all your material gifts were measured by their cost. "That was a pretty good present. But last year, you gave me a car."

8. You'd Own Many Properties, But Lose A Sense Of 'Home'

The average billionaire owns an international portfolio of six properties: their Principal residence, Mountain or Ski chalet, Beach or Waterfront home; Countryhouse or Ranch; City base; and some sort of Historic property. Inevitably this often means they have nowehere to nest; nowhere to call "home."

"I can think of one client who has multiple properties,” says Jane Urquhart, Principal of the London Academy for Household Staff. “One in the country has got a butler, a housekeeper, a driver- handyman. And every morning the housekeeper makes sure the flowers are fresh and the butler makes sure there’s ice in the bucket and the driver/handyman makes sure everything is working. And the employer has never slept there."

Sotheby’s realtor, Alexander Kraft also admis there’s a lot of rivalry between the super-rich, 'Am I at the best address? Do I have the biggest property on the Cap Ferrat in Southern France? Do I have the biggest house on Eaton Square? Do I have the biggest Penthouse on 5th Avenue?'

9. True Love Would Be Even Harder To Find

When it comes to love and romance It’s a nightmare because they can never really trust anyone,’ says matchmaker Mary Balfour of ‘Drawing down the Moon. 'They are always feeling they might be exploited by gold-diggers or people who may not start out as gold-diggers but end up as gold-diggers.'

'I hope I don’t get hate mail for this but the best career for a woman is to marry a wealthy man without a prenup,' comments legendary divorce lawyer Raymond Tooth.

In the Boston College survey, one wealthy mother writes that she worries that the men in her daughters’ lives could feel 'powerless,' and that “their role as provider has been usurped.'

To quote Freud 'Love and work are the two things you have to do in life.' Great wealth often undermines both.

10. You'd Feel You've Lost Your Right To Complain

Most people bond through their complaints. This is something Billionaires report feeling they have lost the right to do, for fear of sounding ungrateful.

Billionaires, of course, are people just like the rest of us and their problems are the same problems we all face, but on a bigger and more complex scale: How to trust, how to love and be loved, how to feel valuable and valued, how to find a sense of purpose which is beyond "having" and "doing." They have the quantity but often struggle with the quality of their deepest desires.