4 min read · Jul 22, 2021
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A Jamaican man is a definition of charming. Seriously, he will sweep you off your feet with just words. Your heart will melt under the warmness of his tongue and the tenderness of the words leaving his sweet mouth.
The “you are the only one” and “you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met” hits different when he shows up the instant you’ve started second-guessing his absence during your time of need. The sex is passionate, so there is a connection…right? The rumours are absolutely true, Jamaican men know their way around the bedroom. He will also go above and beyond to get there with some common techniques… and I’m going to tell you some of them.
Getting to Know you Just Enough
First, he will get to know as much about you as you are willing to tell. He will latch on to things you are interested in and feign interest so he can use it as bait later on. Do you love chocolate? He will ask questions like what is your favourite and may even promise to surprise you with the same, one of these days. He butters you up with layers of compliments and praise…at this point, you are feeling special because he obviously adores you. This is further reiterated through his constant calls and texts to ensure that you are okay because he “checks for you and rates you differently”.
But you never really see his actions match his words — red flag.
The Introduction
He will introduce you to at least one friend, usually his homie or bredrin. Pay attention because this bredrin will resurface in several conversations because he will always be part of an alibi. The alibis are not always in response to a direct accusation or question. He will mention this person in passing conversations all the time. For example, “Jevaughn and I used to par at Privy regularly,” or after a long period of not hearing from him, he’ll pop up and say something like, “you know, Jevaughn and I were dealing with some business and I didn’t have the time..”
So by now, you have become acquainted with his bredrin Jevauhgn. It is almost like you know him too… right? Now, you feel like he is letting you into his world because you are special to him.
Have you ever met Jevaughn? Even if you have, has it been more than once? — red flag.
Fake Priority
When you are around him, his phone does not ring and when it does, he does not answer. In fact, when his phone rings, he will decline. The decline is usually followed by a story about a family or friend who needs something and has been nagging him for weeks. Aren’t you flattered that he is putting you first and he respects you?
Now, he has gained your trust after weeks of using this strategy, occasionally the communication will lapse, but you play it off because he is a “busy guy.”
But, why did that caller ID say Kimmy with a heart? And why is Kimmy calling 5 times at 10:00 PM? — red flag.
I want you, but…
You are now very into him and ready to take things to the next level. Although it is clear that he wants you, he will avoid the commitment. He may say that he is not in the best position to be in a relationship because he is not in the mental space or does not have the resources to facilitate a relationship. You know what you want, but he has been so sweet and has been doing and saying all the things that a good man would, so you stick around to see if you can change his mind. It is now at a point where you are both operating as a couple but, not really.
If he does not want a relationship, why is he acting like he is already in one? — red flag.
We’re on to red flag number three but you’re in too deep and besides, he’s laying that pipe really well 😉 It is good sex and you love it. But the more sex you have, the further he drifts. The calls are fewer and he does not “check for you” the same. He disappears for days with no calls or texts so you consider reaching out to his bredrin Jevaughn but, you don’t have his number and if you do, he has no idea where he could be and can only reassure that his friend will reach out to you soon.
The disappearing act continues, and if you confront him about how uncomfortable you are with the situation and his absence. He is casual about it and reminds you that you are both single. Usually, the “situationship” ends when your frustration has reached its peak or you find out that you are not the only one after all.
Disappearing at any point without notice or check-ins — red flag.
The truth is, some Jamaican men are the perfect magicians, they can turn red flags into the most alluring decor at a carnival full of joy rides. It’s perfectly fine to love a good ride, but if you know you want more and mixed signals are the only things being offered — RUN. Men know exactly who and what they want and if it’s not you, do not hesitate to move on.
Disclaimer: This piece was written from personal experience and similar experiences of other women. Names and scenarios are contextually hypothetical. This is not an attempt to generalize the character of all Jamaican men.
