living alone for the first time 101 - Happy Twenty-Something (2024)

Living alone is the most overwhelming and exciting experience I have ever had. Before I moved abroad, I used to live with my parents (and even shared a room with my five-year younger sister). Even since, I’ve lived with roomies; my previous accommodation was a shared flat with 27 people!

(FIY, it was crazy and awesome; and surprisingly more comfortable than it sounds.)

So can you just try and imagine the transition: being surrounded by two dozen Erasmus students turned into living solo in a one-person studio apartment. So freaky, right?

Perhaps the most difficult thing to adjust to was the newfound solitude.

I had to get used to living in my own head; eating all my meals alone and being fully responsible for buying milk when it’s finished. I got used to drinking my morning coffee without milk, by the way.

Living the solo life does, indeed, require a certain level of adjustment but in the end, it turns out to be just right.

I’ve learned so much about myself in those eight months (I just counted them and OH MY GOD, time goes so fast). While being on your own can be challenging at times, it is an amazing opportunity to dig deeper into who you are and who you want to become; and dedicate those alone moments to working on yourself and achieving your goals.

I put together a simple list of key takeaways from my personal experience of living on my own. Are thinking about moving out of your shared accommodation? If you’re on the verge of renting your first solo apartment, here’s what you need to know.

Give yourself some time to adjust to living alone

The first week you’ll probably be like “Living on my own feels sooo grown-up. That’s sooo cool!”. Then, things are likely to change. You’ll realize that you have to become more responsible and independent, and to think of a way to fill in those moments that you used to spend chatting with your flatmates.

My advice is: find yourself a hobby.

Challenge yourself with becoming the absolute craft-person, trying out those great DIY tutorials you’ve always admired on Pinterest; mastering the art of paper folding or well, starting a blog (which is what I did). You need to learn to entertain yourself at home, otherwise you have two options: be terribly bored or… be terribly broke.

Take on the opportunity to discover yourself

Living on your own will give you all the time you need to find who you are—without the influence that other people might exert on you; the real and unapologetic YOU. Feeling lonely is perfectly okay but instead of crying it out, use it as a chance to focus on your life and get to know your strengths and weaknesses.

MUST-READ: 5 ways to love yourself a little more

Don’t be a loner, though, do go out

Nearly three months of my living alone experience coincided with a very low point of my life. I had cut off my relationships with almost any living thing in my town. I’d spend days not talking with anyone. The groceries store would be the furthest I’d get. THAT’S NOT HOW THINGS SHOULD BE.

Honestly, this way-too-much-alone time really messed with my head.

That was one of the reasons I started my blog, to remain somewhat sane. The point is, don’t do that. Force yourself to go out and meet people even if you don’t feel like it. Just do it.

Turn your bad habits into a healthy lifestyle

I’ve already talked about my worst habits ever. You need to ditch your unhealthy lifestyle and start building daily habits that are good for your mental and physical health. That means no more binge-watching, less take-outs and more physical activity.

Frankly, when you live on your own, it is much easier to fall victim of bad habits. There is no one to supervise you, no one guide you or give you a little push—no one BUT YOU. Living alone requires a newfound sense of responsibility. It comes with the realization that the way your life is depends on your own actions.

MUST-READ: 10 bad habits you and I need to quit

Don’t be scared but make sure you have a good security

Here’s a bit of a scary thought—you wake up and hear some disturbing noise. And BAM, you realize you have to cope with the situation on your own. In the first days of living on my own I was a little bit freaked out. Then I got used to it. All you need to do is ensure you have a good security system. My advice is: meet your neighbors and be nice to them.

Design your space the way you want it

That’s undoubtedly my most favorite part. You get to choose the aesthetics of your own space so allow yourself to get crazy! Really, go nuts and turn all your beloved Pinterest boards into reality. I’ve always tried to customize my living space in a way that fits my personality. But only when I started living alone did I understand what real freedom is.

PS. I admit, I’ve spent way too much money and time in IKEA. Don’t do that. It’s not healthy for your bank account.

Designing a welcoming and comfortable home is extremely important when you live on your own. It helps you deal with the side effects of the solo life; and feel happy to just be there. I love the way my studio looks and feels, with its turquoise accents, walls covered with photos and books scattered all around.

Keep your apartment CLEAN

Another just as important aspect of living in your own place is KEEPING IT NEAT. If you’ve lived with roomies (or your mom), you are probably used to having a cleaning schedule and to maintaining a certain level of cleanliness (well, in the case of living with 20+ people, for me that level was below zero).

You’ll have to develop the habit of looking after your place. Don’t get me wrong. You don’t have to become a Monica but certainly you’ll feel much more comfortable and more grown-up if you use the vacuum cleaner at least once or twice a week.

Last but not least, get ready to kill a spider

I consider killing my first spider one of my greatest solo life achievements. I’m really, really scared of any kind of bugs that exists; and somehow they all insist to share my living space. Seriously, unnamed and terrifying flying insect, GET OUT, I’M LIVING ON MY OWN.

There you have it—my personal experience with living on my own for the first time.

It is scary; it’s totally mind-boggling and eye-opening.

That’s how it is supposed to be. Everything that helps you evolve as a person is supposed to make you feel a little bit terrified and deeply excited.

So, how about you? Are you living alone or you’re still hanging out with your roomies?

living alone for the first time 101 - Happy Twenty-Something (2024)

FAQs

Is it good to live alone in your 20s? ›

You discover what is truly important in your life.

What was I self-motivated about? Living alone truly put my priorities into perspective, and helped me understand that it's easy to let people and opportunities slip by, so take a step back and realize who and what is important and what you're willing to let go of.

What is the psychology of living alone? ›

Independence and Autonomy: Living alone provides a sense of independence and autonomy, allowing individuals to make their own decisions about how to live their lives. This can foster self-reliance, self-discovery, and personal growth.

How to live alone 101? ›

Living on your own will give you all the time you need to find who you are—without the influence that other people might exert on you; the real and unapologetic YOU. Feeling lonely is perfectly okay but instead of crying it out, use it as a chance to focus on your life and get to know your strengths and weaknesses.

How do you live alone for the first time in your life? ›

Living Alone for the First Time: 8 Tips to Help You Feel Safe and...
  1. Explore the neighborhood. ...
  2. Make a budget and stick to it. ...
  3. Keep a list of emergency numbers handy. ...
  4. Keep safety top of mind with a Door Security Bar. ...
  5. Get basic emergency items. ...
  6. Give a friend a spare key. ...
  7. Meet your neighbors. ...
  8. Enjoy yourself!
May 10, 2023

What percentage of 20 year olds live alone? ›

Living arrangements of 18-24-year olds in the U.S. 2023, by gender. In 2023, nearly 58 percent of 18-24-year old men in the United States lived with a parent, whereas approximately 5.6 percent lived alone. In comparison, the share of women living with a parent was about 54, compared to 4.3 percent who lived alone.

Is feeling lonely in mid 20s normal? ›

So despite popular belief, loneliness tends to decrease with age. Turns out, feeling lonely in your 20s is extremely normal.

Is it mentally healthy to live alone? ›

People living alone are more likely to report feeling depressed compared to those living with others, according to a new study by the CDC's National Center for Health Statistics. And that effect is particularly stark for people living alone who say they have little or no social and emotional support.

Does living alone affect mental health? ›

Loneliness can lead to various psychiatric disorders like depression, alcohol abuse, child abuse, sleep problems, personality disorders and Alzheimer's disease.

How does living alone affect you emotionally? ›

Feeling lonely can have a negative impact on your mental health, especially if you've felt lonely for a long time. Some research suggests that loneliness can increase stress. It's also associated with an increased risk of certain mental health problems.

How do you fight loneliness when living alone? ›

13 Things to Do When You Feel Lonely
  1. Reframe.
  2. Practice gratitude.
  3. Play music.
  4. Call a friend.
  5. Focus on quality time.
  6. Go outside.
  7. Talk about it.
  8. Get creative.

How do you stay sane when living alone? ›

Tips for Living Alone
  1. Try Something New. “Living alone can be an opportunity to grow in ways you haven't before,” says Deutsch. ...
  2. Make Healthy Habits a Priority. ...
  3. Practice Positive Affirmations. ...
  4. Build a Social Network. ...
  5. Freshen Up the Home Front. ...
  6. Adopt a Pet.
Aug 24, 2023

Is it normal to want to live alone? ›

And yet, the appeal of living alone can run much deeper than that. People feel more authentic when they are alone than when they are with other people. Those who are drawn to solo living for positive reasons are unlikely to feel lonely. They are not afraid of having time to themselves; they flourish in solitude.

How do I live alone with anxiety? ›

Ensure you create a good balance of solitude and social interaction, engage in regular physical activity, and make time for hobbies and interests that bring you joy. If living alone triggers feelings of anxiety or depression, seek support from friends, family, or mental health professionals.

How to live alone in old age? ›

  1. Take a walk to get some exercise. Being physically active is good for your mind as well as your body. ...
  2. Think about getting a pet. A dog or cat is not a replacement for humans, but they can be very good company, especially when you are feeling down.
  3. Get some sleep. ...
  4. Try something new. ...
  5. Connect with people.
Oct 6, 2023

At what age should you start living alone? ›

What is the best age to start living alone? While most people start living alone in their 20s, there's no single “best” time. Everyone's circ*mstances and reasons for living independently are different.

How common is it to be single at 20? ›

Nearly half of all young adults are single: 34 percent of women, and a whopping 63 percent of men. Not surprisingly, the decline in relationships marches astride with a decline in sex.

Is it normal to be lonely at 25? ›

Prevalence of loneliness

This compares to 156,000 youth aged 15-24 and 88,000 seniors aged 65+. So, if you are an adult aged 25-64 and are feeling lonely, you are not alone. In fact, being lonely during adulthood is quite normal.

Is it normal to still live with your parents in your 20s? ›

Living with your parents is a whole different vibe when you've entered adulthood, but that's not to say it's all bad. In fact, for many people in their 20s who've returned home while looking for jobs or saving up for the future, it's honestly kind of amazing.

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