So you figure out your monthly target numbers, you’re working on strategizing your cash flow with your spreadsheets, you’re internalizing the benefits of frugal living, you have a plan for paying off your expensive debts, you’re basically winning at managing your money! Awesome.
But then you visit your friend’s house and are reminded what a dump (you feel like) your bathroom is. If you’d just put a little money into a new vanity, fixing the tile, and replacing the light fixture and hardware, some new decor… it would feel so much nicer! Or you clicked through a sale email to your favorite clothing store and found some fabulous item- far from a need, but gosh it’s just so your style. Or you’re so sick of making meals, that ready made meal delivery service (that also costs a fortune) is looking really good right now. The list of impulse spending possibilities confronting your smart spending strategy is of course endless.
These steps will help you feel in control of these choices. No choice with money is inherently good or bad. It’s all about aligning with your goals, and weighing the costs against the value received back in your life. I’m not talking about ‘value’ like if you buy 4 boxes of scented trash bags, you get 3 free- so many free! That’s not true value for your life, that’s just a lot of smelly trash bags you don’t even like using. When I talk about value, I mean alignment with your core life values and vision for your life and your family.
Use these steps to help decide how to handle spending conundrums while consistently supporting your core values and vision.
What's In This Post
Step 1: Evaluate
Magnitude of cost
First, check your thinking against just how much we’re talking here. Are you stressing over whether to go out for dinner tonight with a group of friends? Or whether to buy that house that just went on the market in your dream neighborhood? These choices have (obviously) dramatically different impact on your big picture financial situation. Treat them accordingly.
In many cases, perhaps you just scale it back to something truly minimal as a compromise. Want to redecorate your bedroom? Make sure you take 3 things out of your cart when you get to check out. If they are that critical, you’ll come back. Want to go out for a night with a friend? Eat a meal at home, but enjoy a fantastic appetizer and nice drink out. If it’s the friend, and not the food, that is the reason for going, that is.
Alignment with core values
Revisit your vision for your life, for your family’s future. Does this choice provide value towards that future? This is the most important part of weighing your spending choices, irrespective of whether it’s $25 or $250,000. If something doesn’t align with your core values and goals, then it’s hard to justify anything more than a small frivolous spending choice.
If it is something rather expensive and is a way to help achieve your family vision, then there’s always a way to figure the money part out. Read on and learn how to turn dreams into plans.
Choices that support earning money
When we’re saving for bigger goals, conveniences are usually the first things we decide we can do without. Delivered groceries or meal kits, drive through coffee, take out dinners, housecleaning, extra baby-sitting time, etc.
But remember to give some credit to things that are supporting your careers for a dual earning couple raising a young family. For example, if you’re itching to hire a house cleaner but feel you can’t justify it when you’re trying to pay off debt, take a pause. Is hiring out housecleaning going to have a substantial impact on your mental load or exhaustion level in a way that helps you thrive in your career more effectively? (Or just plain help you survive working while your kids are very small?)
The benefit of outsourcing to support you completing higher paying work is a very important one to consider. Spending $100 a month is nothing compared to you succeeding in your career, which comes with increasing salary over time. So, don’t count out conveniences automatically. Really evaluate the full value.
Step 2: Plan it out
Where does this potential cost fit in? Time to plan it out. If you don’t like the results, then you can eliminate it or put it on the back burner.
For a relatively minor cost, as yourself, “Can I fit it into my monthly spending cap?” If yes, then by all means, make your own choices! Even if your plan is an intentional un-plan of “spend $100 on whatever catches my eye at Target,” you still have a concrete amount deliberately allocated towards your shopping spree. If it fits in your spending plan, it’s fair game!
If not, is it worth borrowing from savings? Meaning, is it worth tightening up your spending the following month to pay your savings account back? If not, skip it. If a month later you’d be kicking yourself for having to pay yourself back, that’s a good sign it’s kind of an “impulse” desire and not truly of value.
If it is worth it, then enter that line item in your planned checking and savings account spreadsheet transactions- $100 temporary float from savings this month…. $100 pay back to savings the next month. Line item it, commit to it, and do it.
Or better yet, just delay it a month or two. If things don’t fit into my spending cap for the month, I just let them sit in the Amazon cart and wait for next month. That delay is an excellent way to help you re-evaluate after a bit of time.
For a more major cost, create an estimated line item in your savings for the sake of testing out how that choice will impact your savings and spending scenario over the coming months or years. Does your savings rate support adding this? Can you save more or eliminate something else set out in your spending plan from your savings account? When you test drive desired expenditures against other planned expenditures, things tend to clarify themselves in terms of priority.
Step 3: Gut check
Having planned out what it would take, now you take a gut check on the cost vs benefit. A new bathroom would be fabulous, and could be done with money-saving DIY skills, but… if it delays my retiring from the 9-5 even by 2 weeks it’s not worth it. That’s just me at this point in time. Maybe that choice delays your payoff of high interest credit card debt. Worth it? That’s your call. Just remember to always keep the big picture in mind. Put a big decision on ice if you’re not totally sure, and keep coming back to it. What does your gut tell you?
Sometimes it’s just the daydreaming, browsing, or anticipation that brings most of the joy factor. Like, I can get lost in imagining all kinds of home remodel plans. But I’ll always land at “not worth it” when it really comes to planning it out.
Ultimately, this just isn’t our forever home and our other goals require cash savings, so most of those remodel plans just don’t win out. It’s still just fun to imagine and browse ideas on Pinterest nonetheless. Or go shopping without any money- just browse, try things on, enjoy the experience, and then go home! Point being, even if you decide the spend isn’t in your plans, there are sometimes still ways to get a taste of the experience you crave.
On the other hand, is this really a choice with value? It’s passed the gut check? Then it’s time to work it into your savings plan and start turning that wish into a real cold hard plan. You can read all about that in this post. It might be a now thing, or a future thing. But that’s what digging into the details of what is possible and what your priorities are will reveal.
Step 4: Savor
When you decide to spend some bucks, it’s time to take a moment to appreciate what your money just did for you. Savor that fabulous meal, that awesome weekend away, the 2 hours out of the house after leaving the kids with a sitter for no particular reason, the new bathroom, whatever it is.
The worst thing to do with money is to choose to spend it and then beat yourself up over it. No, no, no! It’s only money. Even if you’re like, ugh, that didn’t go how I hoped- what a waste. No worries. Try to appreciate what you can and acknowledge the value in your choice, even if the value came in the form of a lesson in why you don’t want to spend money on trendy (but overpriced or impractical) shoes anymore.
Hopefully you do enjoy what you spend on, or you can see how it takes you closer to a particular goal or support your family vision. Savor that moment! Acknowledge how your hard work earning, and savvy work managing, that money has paid off. Basically, be thankful for what you have, every time.
Final Points
Also remember that “wasting” money for you might not look the same as for me. Decisions with money are about supporting your journey through your best life, not someone else’s. The point is for money to be a tool in building your life’s journey. It should never be something to cause shame, failure, and significant regret. Never give money that much power.
The more you align your thinking with the ideas above and begin to see rewarding progress in your financial journey, the more you will naturally make choices that align with your core values and life’s mission. In other words, it will get easier. But it will never be perfect and it may take some time. The real test is to make “mistakes” and still march onward toward your goals.
Ultimately, your goal is intentional spending. Spend how you want, just make sure you’ve planned for it. That’s what the tools on this website aim to equip you to do. If you’re not sure where to start, check out the key posts below.
Related reading:
- Why you can’t stick to a budget: Budgeting philosophies and how to spend wisely without a budget
- Organizing personal finances: where to start?
- Vision for your life: where is your money taking you?
- Tracking Savings: Your Key For Turning Dreams Into Reality
