I've been working in real estate for 7 years, and I have a warning for anyone trying to buy a home with help from their parents (2024)

The real-estate market has been booming. So much so, that it seems like everyone and their mother is buying a new home, and I mean that in the most literal way.

In high-priced housing markets mom and dad are shelling out cash and helping their adult children live the American Dream of homeownership. Parents opening up their wallets and assisting with home loans has been going on for generations, but the trend is on the rise according to the 2018 NAR Home Buyer and Seller Generational Trends Report.

In Boston, where I practice real estate, I am seeing it more and more with first-time homebuyers. I would estimate that close to half of my millennial buyer clients are receiving contributions from their parents or grandparents.

Read more: Forget braces and babysitters: American parents say their children are most expensive when they're all grown up

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This arrangement can be tricky at times. How do you structure the deal from a financial standpoint? What considerations should be made?

There's more than one way to approach it. Here is how my young buyers have navigated purchasing a house alongside their parental units.

Develop a plan before you start shopping — and leave the family drama out of it

Being in the position to give or receive financial assistance from a family member is a good problem to have. Sometimes parents and kids can lose sight of this during the home buying process when emotions run high.

As a real estate agent, I often get stuck in the crosshairs. When it comes to bringing family dynamics into the equation, having a solid plan and communicating well are key.

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Read more: I'm a real estate agent and investor — here are my 8 best pieces of advice for first-time homebuyers

First, figure out a financial strategy that makes the most sense. The options that I mention below provide a brief outline of some common approaches. You'll want to speak with a lender, financial adviser, CPA, and attorney to hammer out the details. While it is only natural for parents to want to lend a helping hand, they shouldn't put their own financial situation in jeopardy.

I've been working in real estate for 7 years, and I have a warning for anyone trying to buy a home with help from their parents (1)

Courtesy of Dana Bull

Next, have an open discussion about everything before you start the house hunt. For example, what is the motivation for the loan? As a parent, you may feel a sense of pride for being able to provide for your child or you may feel like your child is taking advantage of your generosity. On the other hand, some children feel guilty about getting a "handout" and indebted to their parents. It's best to get these feelings out on the table sooner rather than later.

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Read more: A realtor who works with first-time homebuyers reveals a common mistake millennials make when they're house shopping

Another major point of contention is how involved the parents are going to be during the buying process and throughout ownership. It's all about the control factor and who gets to call the shots. You want to talk it out prior to sinking time into home shopping. Trust me, a home inspection is not an appropriate place for a family feud.

Plenty of first-time buyers have been able to afford properties they otherwise wouldn't have by leaning on family. If you are fortunate to have this option, you can spare the drama with some proactive planning.

Many millennials get cash gifts and loans from parents — here's how it works

I've been working in real estate for 7 years, and I have a warning for anyone trying to buy a home with help from their parents (2)

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Receiving gift funds towards a down payment

The most popular way for parents to get involved is by providing gift money. Chris Butts, a loan officer at Leader Bank, estimates that about 40% of his first-time buyer clients use some sort of gift money ranging from a few thousand dollars to a substantial percentage of the purchase. "Gift money is exactly what it sounds like – the parents pass along a sum of money onto their child without expecting reimbursem*nt."

This approach makes the most sense for those who can afford the monthly payments, but need help overcoming the upfront costs associated with buying. Most lenders allow borrowers to use gift money for a down payment or to foot the bill on closing costs.

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The process is quite straightforward. First the lender will request proof of funds from the parents such as a document or bank statement that shows cash on hand. Then, copies of the money transfer from the parent to child will need to be recorded. Lastly, the mortgage company will need a letter from the donor (i.e. parent) stating that the money is truly a gift and not a loan.

Tapping the bank of Mom and Dad

Most homebuyers work with traditional lenders such as a bank or credit union to take out a mortgage, but parents with liquidity can also be an excellent source for private lending. Family loans can be a win-win for everyone involved.

Private lending allows buyers to place bids on properties without a finance contingency. In a world where cash is king, this is huge. Buyers also can side-step many of the mortgage fees involved in a typical transaction such as the appraisal, application costs, etc. Parents reap the benefit of a recurring revenue stream in the form of interest.

Mom-and-pop mortgages can be an attractive solution if parents can afford the cash outlay. A lawyer can structure a family loan in many different ways. Having the flexibility is particularly beneficial to borrowers with low FICO scores or little credit history who may not be able to qualify for a loan through a bank. Of course, in order for the loan to be legitimate, it needs to be registered with the state and is subject to IRS scrutiny just like any traditional mortgage.

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Partnering with parents

Another route to consider is partnering up. According to Butts, who specializes in residential mortgages, "This may be the easiest option if the buyer needs the parent's income and credit history to qualify for the loan." Under this arrangement, all parties have ownership interest in the property and are responsible for repaying the loan.

This situation works particularly well for families teaming up to buy a vacation getaway or multi-family home where all parties will reap the benefits of ownership.

However, parents can also be a non-occupant co-borrower, meaning that although they do not live at the property, their names are on the deed. Co-borrowing or in some cases co-signing, have become an attractive option for families with college students. In lieu of room and board, parents are buying a "Kiddie Condo," a flat or single-family home near campus. Not only does this give young adult students a taste of homeownership, it also provides the family with additional income if extra rooms are rented out.

Dana Bull is a Massachusetts REALTOR® and real estate investor. She specializes in millennial and first-time buyers and also writes a column for RealEstate.com. You can learn more at www.danabullrealtor.com.

I've been working in real estate for 7 years, and I have a warning for anyone trying to buy a home with help from their parents (2024)

FAQs

Why is no one buying my house? ›

Your House Is Overpriced

You may love your house, and you may have spent a lot of time and money on renovations, but if no one is interested, it means you probably have it listed too high. If you overprice your house, buyers may just raise an eyebrow and move on to the next listing without even coming for a showing.

What not to say to estate agents? ›

Six things buyers should never do when dealing with an estate...
  • DON'T give them your real email address.
  • DON'T bother speaking to their recommended mortgage broker.
  • DON'T use their recommended conveyancing service.
  • DON'T downplay your budget.
  • DON'T accept what they say about other interest or offers they have received.
Mar 1, 2024

Why is it so hard to sell my house? ›

Your home might not be selling because you didn't spend time staging for photos and showings. The way you stage your home can affect how quickly it sells. If your home is cluttered or messy, it will be hard for buyers to see its potential. Make sure to declutter and deep clean your home before listing it.

Can someone use your credit score to buy a house? ›

Your credit is yours and not something to use for someone else. If your son cannot qualify for a loan, there is a good chance he cannot afford the payments or has a history of not paying his bills. You will be on the hook if your son does not pay the mortgage.

Why am I not getting offers on my house? ›

So if you don't get an offer on your house within three weeks it means that your house is overpriced, based on it's current condition and appearance, in comparison to all the other homes on the market. The only thing an AGENT can do is to recommend a lower sales price.

How to buy a house with none of your own money? ›

Probably the easiest way to purchase a property with no money down is by borrowing the down payment. Either find a lender offering a low interest rate, or use a home equity or other line of credit loan, which will still have the tax benefits of a normal mortgage.

Why do real estate agents have a bad reputation? ›

The lack of experience among some realtors contributes significantly to the negative reputation. Clients who encounter agents with limited expertise might face inadequate guidance, incorrect information, and ineffective negotiation skills. This lack of proficiency tarnishes the overall perception of the profession.

What can you not say in real estate? ›

Phrases related to race, gender identity, sexuality, nationality, cultural identity. It should go without saying but any word or phrase related to any of these items should be left out of your property descriptions. A single point of view is not the only one that matters.

Do estate agents have a bad reputation? ›

In a survey of 1,154 UK adults back in 2021, we learned that just 1% of people think estate agents are trustworthy.

What are the hardest months to sell a house? ›

Fall and winter are the worst seasons to sell

Just like in the warmer months, the weather plays a factor in the winter months, too. As the days get dark earlier and temperatures drop, people tend to stay closer to home. This means less foot traffic for sellers.

How long do most houses take to sell? ›

After an offer is accepted, home sales typically require an additional 30- to 45- day closing period before they are officially sold. Therefore, the average time it takes to sell a house is 55-70 days in the U.S.

Is a house easier to sell empty? ›

Is It Easier to Sell Empty Homes? In short, emptying your home can make it easier to sell rather than leaving it as it is. However, staged houses may attract higher offers and decrease the time the house sits on the market. The reason is that potential buyers need to be able to visualize themselves living there.

What is the easiest home loan to get? ›

Government-backed loan options, such as FHA, USDA and VA loans, are typically the easiest type of mortgage to get because they may have lower down payment and credit score requirements compared to conventional mortgage loans.

Can I use my husband's income for a mortgage? ›

If you're part of a two-income household, getting a mortgage together usually means you can qualify for a larger home loan. However, if your spouse isn't on the loan with you, your lender won't consider your spouse's income when determining how much you'll qualify for.

Is 700 a good credit score to buy a house? ›

Yes. Assuming the rest of your finances are solid, a credit score of 700 should qualify you for all major loan programs: conventional, FHA, VA and USDA loans all have lower minimum requirements, and even jumbo loans require a 700 score at minimum.

How do you sell when no one is buying? ›

How do you sell what no one wants to buy?
  1. Focus on the emotion: 99% of the time people don't want to buy what you sell is because of the emotions attached to the purchase. ...
  2. Go with a prevention message: One of the best ads for a funeral home I ever saw was an ad with an anti drunk driving theme.

Why is this the worst time to buy a house? ›

A global pandemic didn't collapse prices, but sent them soaring to new heights. Last year, mortgage rates hit a 23-year high and sales plummeted. Even so, home prices stubbornly kept rising, creating the most unaffordable housing market in generations.

Why am I not happy after buying a house? ›

There are a few of the more common reasons people experience home buyer's remorse: They spent too much money. From dishing out closing cost money and paying for home inspections to worrying about future repair issues, money concerns are front and center. Dropping interest rates can also induce regret.

How to tell a seller their home is overpriced? ›

First an agent should have a good idea the market value of the home before it is listed. So this situation should only come up rarely. If it does occur, you tell the owner as soon as possible. The agent should supply new data that demonstrates the revised market value.

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