There are so many ways you can handle finances as a married couple. Some people combine literally all of their money. Some people have separate money and pay for different bills. I have a friend whose finances are completely separate from her wife’s, and they each pay for their individual bills, including splitting the rent. My husband and I do a combo of those things. We’ve found a way that really works for us, and I wanted to share it with you. So, here are the financial steps we take together.
We set shared goals
When it comes to our money, the most important thing is that we’re on the same page. Sometimes, we disagree about the best way to do things, so we need to talk that through. For instance, my husband always wants to put any extra money we have toward debt. However, I prefer to always keep a good amount of money in the bank. That way, we can pay for anything that comes up, which helps prevent any future debt because we’re cash-poor.
However, we both agree that our goals are to build up/maintain our emergency fund, pay off debt, and dedicate what we can to retirement. We don’t worry about saving for our kid’s futures in the sense that we don’t have a college fund or anything. I put $5 every month toward a custodial stock account, but that’s it. We agree that we can do more good at the moment by saving for retirement and making sure we don’t burden them in the future.
We keep some personal money
When it comes to our finances as a married couple, we have joint money and personal money. For joint money, we have a checking account and a couple of savings accounts (regular and high-yield). Joint money sits in its own account, and that’s where the majority of our paychecks go. However, we also have personal money.
Every paycheck, we both take $100 out of it for ourselves. We can use this money however we want. My husband typically spends it on food, video games, and the competitive card game he plays with his friends. I typically spend it on food, movies, books, and my blogs. (We really love buying food, okay?) These bank accounts are entirely our own too. We don’t see each other’s transactions at all. This allows us to have some privacy, which is especially useful around birthdays and holidays.
Joint money pays joint bills
The majority of our money is joint money. After we take out our $100, the remainder goes into the joint checking account or savings accounts. Anything that benefits us as a family is paid with joint money. This includes housing expenses, groceries, gas, etc. We also pay for Hulu, Audible, and Netflix, which goes through the joint account since we both use them. We also have a small fun budget that we use for family outings.
My medical expenses far outweigh my husband’s, but they also go through joint expenses. Health is important, so we make sure that everyone’s medical bills go through the joint account, not just the kids’.
I manage the bills and expenses
Honestly, I’m more of the money person than my husband (as you can probably tell from this blog). I enjoy my massive spreadsheet with a cash flow through December 2024. I like watching our debt numbers go down as I pay bills. It’s important to me to know every single detail of our finances. My husband mostly just wants to be able to give input and know what’s going on.
I just kind of handle everything because I like it more. (I have The Financial Diet on in the background a lot.) So, I have all of the bill reminders on my phone, and I track all of our expenses through my spreadsheet. It’s my job to make sure everything gets paid.
Honestly, this isn’t a method for every couple, but it works for us.
We talk about money regularly
Even if I’m the one handling the money, my husband always knows what’s going on. We make our big money decisions together, and we talk regularly about our plans and goals. Many couples have an official time or regular meeting set up. Every Friday night, they’ll sit down and talk through everything or something along those lines. We don’t do that yet, but we do talk about anything that comes up. I want to make sure he’s never surprised by something.
Ultimately, we manage our finances as a married couple by staying honest with each other, giving each other financial space, and having clear rules about what’s considered joint expenses. However, there are many ways to handle joint finances when you’re married. I think that the most important things are setting goals together and making sure each person has some autonomy when it comes to money, regardless of who makes it.
If you’re married, how do you handle your finances together?
