Managing money can be difficult. Managing money as a couple can be even harder if you don’t take the time to figure it out.
You may know all about your spending and financial habits but do you know about your partner’s?
Money is one of the biggest pain points in relationships and is actually the leading cause of divorce.
If you want your relationship to be successful you have to have your money situation with your partner well thought out and successful too.
And, like almost every aspect of a relationship, it starts with communication.
Money Talk: Communicate About Money
As a couple, you talk about almost everything. So, why would money be any different?
You should be sitting down with your partner and discussing all the different aspects of your finances.
Like we’ve said in other places, spending habits and how much you spend is usually the most impactful aspect of your finances.
Managing money as a couple, this becomes even more powerful because you have to be on the same page when it comes to spending.
This requires talking about your spending priorities.
For you, spending on new clothes isn’t a big deal. For your partner, spending on new technology isn’t a big deal.
It’s easy to have a fight about money if you or your partner think oppositely.
Before that happens, you should have already had a discussion on each other spending habits and priorities.
But don’t just stop there.
Talk about all of your finances and get in the habit of talking about it regularly.
A common phrase used in couples’ finance is spender and saver.
It’s kind of a scale from do you spend more to do you save more.
You and your partner are probably at different points on the is scale and you should see this if you’ve been talking about finance and money.
You and your partner need to understand each others’ internal motivations when it comes to money.
For some, having a big emergency fund is very important because they feel more secure.
And for others, making sure they the most out of life with their money is important.
In a relationship, you want to be happy while also making sure your partner is happy.
When it comes to money, you have to talk it out to figure out how you can do both.
Money Talk Topics
Here are a few of the topics to start discussing:
- How much income do you both need to live a happy life?
- How important is a work-life balance?
- When do you want to retire?
- What do you have spending money on?
- What do you love spending money on?
- What is nonessential for others but essential for you?
- Do you want combined banking accounts, separate or both?
- What does financial stability mean to you?
- How comfortable are you with using debt?
- Do you feel financially obligated to take care of anyone?
Once you’ve discussed topics like this you can start to formulate a plan for your combined finances.
Come Up with a Plan For Your Finances
What are your goals in life? What are your partner’s goals in life?
Most goals in life involve some amount of money to accomplish.
Whether it be buying a new home or buying a guitar and lessons to learn how to play.
It’s important that you and your partner create a plan for the big goals.
Do you want to buy a home?
What about children? And if so, how are you going to pay for their expenses?
When do you want to retire? What about your significant other?
Do you want to go back to school so you can get a better job?
When it’s just you, all you have to do is think about and plan for your life.
But, when it’s you and someone else you have to think about how you want your life together to go.
Spend some time with your significant other and figure out everything you want to do in life and when in life.
After that, you can plan how you’re going to pay for all it.
Maybe your partner will work and you retire in your plan.
It’s just one example of how every couple has a slightly different plan depending on the specific relationship.
Review Your Spending Together
Once you’ve discussed all the different aspects of finance and thought about what you both want in life, you can get into the money management.
You have to figure out how you’re going to achieve those goals while taking into account your personalities and habits.
A good place to start is by reviewing your expenses together.
Categorize your expenses first by essential and nonessential and then in 5 – 10 categories to get a clear picture of where you’re spending money.
It’s important that you include all of your spending. No leaving out accounts.
Together you can figure out what are essential and nonessential expenses.
And then, figure out how you want to categorize your spending in common categories.
Look at the last 3 months of spending and discuss where you’re doing good and where you’re spending too much money.
Once you do that you can create a budget.
Create a Budget Together
A budget is all about creating spending goals.
Not only are you saying where you expect your money to go but you’re actually challenging yourself to do it.
Go through the categories together and decide how much you want to spend in each category.
This has to be done together or else you will not really know your spending goals.
Make sure to incorporate each others’ spending habits so that you are both happy with how much you expect to spend.
Don’t know where to start with budgeting? Read about how to get started with a simple budget in only 5 steps!
Hold Each Other Accountable
If a budget is going to succeed, it’s all about accountability.
You and your partner have to make sure that you are each sticking to the budget.
What’s great is that it should be much easier to stick to your budget because relationships have built-in accountability partners.
Remember to respect each others’ internal motivations but also remind them of yours too.
A spender and saver can be together if they are will to compromise for the other person’s happiness.
Figure Out Your Money Management System
Separate bank accounts or joint bank accounts?
Who handles paying the bills and who handles investing the money?
Do you both meet with a financial advisor or do one of you serve as the financial advisor?
There are a lot of small things to figure out when it comes to learning how to manage money as a couple.
Spend some time figuring out all of the mechanics of how you are going to manage your money as a couple.
Who does what when it comes to your money?
If you need help on getting your finances organized, sign up for our email list below to get instant access to our resource library! Specifically, look out for our Finance Organization Kit which will completely hook you up with the best system to manage your money.
Final Thoughts
There are so many important aspects of maintaining a healthy relationship.
But, money management is often not thought about until you start fighting about money.
There are plenty of ways that it can start. Maybe a big purchase.
Often though, it might go unnoticed until you both are struggling financially.
It’s really difficult at that point because financial stress only leads to relationship stress.
Don’t let it get to that point.
Talk about your money together. Every aspect of what you like to buy to what makes you secure and how long you want to work.
Figure out what you both want to do in life and how you’re going to pay for it.
From there, you can track your spending, set goals, and hold each other accountable while respecting each other’s thoughts about money.
