"Hi, can I pick your brain about your company?" I have no issues having my brain picked, but we both know the end goal is asking for a referral. But not every referral request needs a 20 minute phone conversation. While coffee chats can be useful, it is just as effective, and certainly more efficient, to ask for a referral directly via email or DM. I've been on both sides of the referral process so here are things to keep in mind.
Why get a referral
Right now there are wonderful people offering referrals, so reach out to those who are at a company or in a role you find interesting. You also have former colleagues, classmates, alumni, and meet-up folks. The referral system is a win-win for the referrer getting a bonus, the company getting a verified applicant, and you getting an inside track for the interview.
The problem is that referrals take time. Even when the process is mostly automated, a potential referrer has to download your resume, find the job ID, fill in some fields, and hit the Submit button. We haven't even included the coffee chat. That much effort and time is enough to make some potential referrers ignore you or not follow up. So here's how to optimize your chance of getting a referral.
Asking via email/DM
The most efficient way to ask for a referral is via an email or DM. This saves both parties on the effort and time "cost" of a referral. This is what I look at when getting a referral request:
- Do the research first. Don't start an interaction with, "I don't know much about your company, but I'd like a job there..."
- Based on your research, have an idea of what department or business line suits your interest or experience the best. For example if you want to be a marketer, what product area or market segment do you want to work on? Know what you want, because the referrer won't.
- Establish a connection with the referrer - did you go to the same school, work at the same company, or know the same person? This avoids any awkwardness of the referrer not knowing or remembering you. Awkwardness leads to avoidance, so make the referrer comfortable. Your connection and shared experiences with the referrer can also be a part of your pitch, the next and most important item.
- Develop your pitch in the form of a short paragraph you can utilize whenever you ask for a referral. The pitch should state why you are best for that company and role. Even if the referrer knows you as a person, the pitch will be helpful since they may not know how you'll fit within the company. The pitch goes right into the email and should be no more than 4-5 sentences. You can also write it in the third person so that the referrer can easily copy and paste it into a referral field if needed.
The goal is to give the referrer confidence that a referral for you would progress, and to do as much work for the referrer as possible. When I read or listen to a referral request, I'm thinking, "How will this person do in the phone screen or interview?"
Having the coffee chat
The reason for and benefit of a coffee chat is to get an informal insight into the good and the bad of a target company. Use the opportunity to get the referrer's inside scoop about where they work and what they do. Determine whether there is any reason why you would not accept an interview or offer. When asking to schedule a coffee chat, take the initiative to provide your own availability and contact info. The referrer can then respond per their schedule. It's also helpful in your introductory email to provide some initial questions for the referrer. The referrer could address them ahead of time or in place of a call if the scheduling falls through.
I believe there's no such thing as a dumb question. That said, I prefer you avoid the following questions: What are the benefits? (I don't remember.) What do you think about your competitors? (Who cares.) Do you think my experience is a good fit? (That's for you to decide.) What team do you work on? (Isn't that on my LinkedIn?)
After the chat, when you determine you want to move forward, present your pitch in a condensed form, and ask: "can I send you a follow-up note (also acting as a thank you note for their time) with my resume for a referral?"
Final thoughts
Time is relative. A week between your request may feel long for you, but it may feel short for the referrer. So expect some lag between your request and the referral going through. Fortunately, some referral systems enable the referrer to send a confirmation.
Be flexible. Apply for multiple companies and roles with multiple versions of your resume and pitch. I don't mind submitting a resume for multiple roles. But I do get concerned if someone asks me to refer them for wildly different roles.
Know your worth. Asking for a referral is not an act of weakness. Whether you were recently let go or you're a recent graduate, you have value. Also, be resilient. Some potential referrers may ignore you or not follow up with you. It's not you, it's them. If someone doesn't respond, don't lose sleep over it and move on to a different angle of approach. If you really want the referral, one (and only one) follow-up will do.
Don't forget the Thank You note after the referral and after you get an offer.
Good luck!
PS: I'm providing referrals to my current company.
Acknowledgements: Thank you John Huang for feedback on this piece.
