In the U.S., older adults are more likely to live alone than anywhere else in the world. In fact, approximately 27% of older U.S. adults live alone, according to Pew Research.[1]Older people are more likely to live alone in the U.S. than elsewhere in the world. Pew Center for Research. Accessed 7/28/2022.
Older adults who live alone can be at higher risk of loneliness and social isolation, which can lead to depression and/or anxiety, diminished cognitive function, Alzheimer’s, hypertension, heart disease, heart failure, stroke and death, according to the National Institute on Aging. If you or a loved one are adjusting to living alone, rest assured there are methods to easing the transition while maintaining your mental and physical health.
Making the Transition to Living Alone
Knowing what to expect as you make the transition to living alone can help prepare you for the experience. Even if you generally enjoyed having time alone when you were living with others, living alone is different from just having more time to yourself.
“Living alone—especially if you’re accustomed to living with a spouse, partner or other family members—can initially come as a shock,” says Nanci Deutsch, a licensed clinical social worker and host of the radio show “Inspired and Empowered Living.” What’s more, traumatic events, such as the loss of a spouse or leaving your longtime home can add to this shock and lead to grief, sadness, fear or feeling lost.
“You may also feel a sense of relief, especially if you were a caretaker,” says Deutsch. “You may feel relief for yourself and relief for your spouse or partner because they’re no longer suffering.”
Regardless, recognize how you’re feeling in your transition to living alone and pay attention to situations that trigger those feelings. “Once you’re aware of how you’re feeling, allow the feeling to flow,” suggests Deutsch. “Then ask yourself: Is there an action I can take to help me in this moment? It may mean calling a friend or your adult children for advice, getting yourself to the senior center or writing in a journal.”
Tips for Living Alone
With time, you can adjust to your new living arrangement. Taking certain steps along the way can help make the process more comfortable.
Try Something New
“Living alone can be an opportunity to grow in ways you haven’t before,” says Deutsch. As you adjust to living alone, you’re forming a new identity with each passing day, she notes. Whether it’s having your morning coffee by yourself or learning to make a new recipe, your new solo status can be a chance to build new skills, rituals and habits.
Deutsch also recommends using this time to try new activities, such as taking a painting class, traveling, meeting with friends or volunteering in your community. Establishing goals can also give you a sense of purpose, a key component of well-being across all ages that may also provide a buffer against loneliness, according to research.
Make Healthy Habits a Priority
People who live alone are more likely to eat fewer fruits, vegetables and fish, which can lead to poor health outcomes, according to a study in Nutrition Reviews. To make the healthiest transition to living alone, Deutsch recommends prioritizing your diet. Push yourself to eat as healthily as possible and have healthy ingredients on hand for solo meals. Deutsch also suggests dining out with friends and family frequently to maintain important social connections.
Getting plenty of sleep and exercise are important factors as well. In fact, one study shows that living alone is associated with higher levels of physical activity, especially among women. Partaking in group exercise activities like an exercise class or hiking group can also provide sources of social interaction.
Practice Positive Affirmations
In moments of loneliness and/or anxiety, speaking positive affirmations out loud can help to quiet any negative self-talk, says Susan Shumsky, the author of over 20 meditation books. “If we can change our thoughts, we can change our attitude and our actions,” she says. “A good way to start is affirmations. It’s amazing how powerful these statements are.”
For example, if you’re having trouble thinking about going to dinner by yourself, Shumsky recommends reciting the following mantra out loud: “I am in control. I am the only authority in my life. I am protected, safe, secure, powerful and at peace.”
Build a Social Network
Even if you don’t feel lonely or socially isolated, it may be helpful to join a support group, such as a bereavement group, a group for divorced or separated people, or senior center programs. “You still have your friends and family, but it’s to find a new network of people, which is part of your new identity,” says Deutsch.
Over time, you may begin to enjoy living alone and appreciate a newfound sense of independence. “It doesn’t mean you’re not going to miss your spouse or your loved one,” says Deutsch. “It just means you’ve come to accept the changes in your life that led to living alone, and the last process of grief is acceptance.”
Freshen Up the Home Front
Depending on how you feel, you may decide to make adjustments to your space. It’s also important to keep in mind that living alone can come with additional safety concerns, such as falling when no one is around to help. If this is a concern for you or your family, consider installing a medical alert system or upgrading your home security. Ensuring there are working locks on doors and windows can also provide peace of mind.
Adopt a Pet
According to the Gerontological Society of America, pets can provide a sense of purpose and safety to help ease feelings of stress, loneliness and depression. Some pets, such as a dog, may also help increase your levels of activity and can help with socialization, as saying hello to someone while walking your dog can often be a way to meet new people.
