GTW Mailbag Q&A: What makes something too big of a coincidence in a story? (2024)

Today’s fantastic question comes from Fiona, who says:

I’ve gotten some feedback that some events in my novel are too big of a coincidence and that the plot feels unnaturally lucky or unlucky to have happened to a character. That made me wonder: what makes something too big of a coincidence in a story, and are there ways to balance that (other than the obvious “start over”)?

This is such a common plot problem, we have a name for it: Deus ex machina, which in the original Latin means “God of the machine.” Here’s the Merriam-Webster definition:

A person or thing (as in fiction or drama) that appears or is introduced suddenly and unexpectedly and provides a contrived solution to an apparently insoluble difficulty

Merriam-Webster

Logically as readers we know that the plot is orchestrated by the author, but we definitely don’t want to feel that way when we’re reading.

Let’s talk about three components of a story that can lead to the reader feeling like the characters got a little too lucky or the plot wrapped up a bit too easily, and how to fix them!

3 Ways To Keep Your Plot From BeingToo Convenient

1. Make sure you properly foreshadowed surprises

Sometimes in our efforts to surprise our audience, we fail to set up a twist or reveal in a way that works when you look back.

For example, in a book I read and greatly enjoyed overall, there were two characters who–plot twist!–were actually brothers. That was a fun surprise on the first read, but when I revisited the book a few months later and got to a scene early on where those two men interacted, their conversation made no sense in light of what I knew was coming. Nor did it make sense to me that the one who was dating the main character wouldn’t say to her, “Ignore him. He’s my big brother.”

If a character chooses to conceal information, it had better be for a reason that serves that character, not just you as the author!

This can also happen with other things. Surprise, she was recording the whole conversation! Surprise, he happens to know how to drive a boat!

You can make a lot of these types of surprises work just by being sure you set them up earlier in the story. Though, of course, balance is critical. You also don’t want to do the literary equivalent of pointing at what you’ve planted with flashing neon arrows.

If your main character is going to pull an antique sword off the wall in the climax of the novel and kill the bad guy, definitely mention the sword. You can even have the character hold it or remark upon the craftsmanship. But you would be tipping too far if another character said, “How funny that you have this on your wall! If a bad guy ever tried to attack you, you could definitely use this!” That’s a neon arrow.

2. Don’t create perfectly perfect characters

Something else that can lead to a plot feeling a bit too coincidental, is if your main character himself is a bit too perfect. Even aside from the classic problem of being too good at too many things, this can also happen if you create a character that people just love to help out. Or people don’t mind sacrificing time, money, whatever just to help this character get to where they’re trying to go. That doesn’t feel real to us if the whole world seems to bend to your character.

Situations like this can lead to your plot feeling contrived, even if the real issue is your character.

3. Make sure your plot progression is based on characters making decisions

The decisions we make are based on logic. Sometimes our logic is faulty, but we still make choices based on reason. Our characters need to bring this same thoughtfulness into how they make decisions, and those decisions should be what progresses your plot.

Logic is how you can create a surprise that still feels organic. Like in The Hunger Games, Katniss’s decision to volunteer for the games makes sense to us because we know her priority is her sister’s safety. So while in one way, it makes no sense for anyone to volunteer, with how the story is crafted, Katniss’s decision makes perfect sense.

We want to make sure to consider the logic of other characters too, not just our main character or point of view characters. When I was writing The Lost Girl of Astor Street, my agent asked me, “Hey, what’s the villain doing for these two months while Piper is depressed?”

And I realized in that moment, NOTHING. My villain was just being polite, I guess, and giving Piper a chance to recuperate. How convenient!

Any time I’m working on a synopsis for a story and I find myself using the phrase “happens to,” I know I need to examine this moment a bit closer. That can look like the guard “happens to” be asleep at the gate, the ex-boyfriend “happens to” be working that night, the door “happens to” be unlocked, etc.

These should be limited, and shouldn’t bring about major plot advancement. The guideline I’ve heard is that you’re allowed one major coincidence/serendipitous turn in your book, and that readers start to grumble after that. Even still, I wouldn’t use anything too coincidental in the climax.

I know one of the reasons I fall back on “happens to” is that it’s just easier. Like me, my characters try to stay cozy and safe. They don’t want to go hunting down change or conflict if they can help it. Finding motivation to make my characters decide to go do things can be tricky!

Do you struggle with the same thing as Fiona? Do you have any advice to offer her?