Ever wondered if you’re boring? We hope so, because thinking you’re always wildly interesting is usually one of the biggest markers of arrogance. But if you’ve actually wondered what exactly it is that makes boring people boring–and if you’re part of that list–then luckily for you, someone has gone out and studied just that; psychologists from the University of Essex, University of Limerick, and the London School of Economics, to be precise. As part of this study, which was originally published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, these researchers took into account the responses of 500 people across five different studies. Business Insider magazine went a step further, and crowd-sourced answers on Quora, combining the two types of research and coming up with a handy checklist for whether you’re a snooze-fest or not. Here’s a few of the biggest tells that the people in your life find you terribly, terribly tedious…
1. You watch too much TV
Apparently, when the participants were asked what they considered the five most dull hobbies, sleeping, religion, watching TV, observing animals and mathematics came up top.
2. You have nothing to add
If your contribution to a conversation is simply piggy-backing on other people’s opinions and nodding ‘yes’, consider that a red flag for ‘boring disease’. "To me, a boring person is someone from whom I cannot learn anything new," Stan Hayward told Business Insider. "Thus, it takes time for me to decide someone is really a boring person, though some people give out cues pretty early in a relationship."
3. You talk (way) too much
If you can’t get enough of yourself and talk too much, you’re likely to be boring the other people you’re speaking to. Nobody enjoys a monologue unless they paid for theatre seats at a Shakespearan play.
4. You talk (way) too little
Listening is a skill, but it can cross over into conversational deadweight if you’re not careful. If you have nothing to add or contribute very little to the conversation, you might be a bit of a snooze.
5. You’re negative all the time
This isn’t to say that toxic positivity is the right counter. Dylan Woon, a Quora user, broke it down into three types of boring negativity:
Victim mentality: "I'm trapped! [Why] am I so unlucky? Why me? Why?"
Scarcity mentally: "People have snatched that opportunity away from me! Oh no!"
Blaming mentality: "It's all because of the government! Because of the President! Because you [are] the competitor! Because of him! It's all their fault!"
If you’re always complaining about your life and problems and treating your friends and family like unpaid therapists; it makes you a drag to be around.
6. You can’t read social cues
Most boring people have no idea whether somebody is actually enjoying speaking to them or not, because they aren’t great with social cues and body language.
7. You can’t make people laugh
Being funny? The absolute antithesis of being boring. If eliciting a laugh from the people you talk to or engage with is a rare feat for you, you might consider that a lot of what you’re saying might not be wildly interesting.
8. You’re a creature of habit
Have a standard order at the only restaurant you really like? Been listening to the same genre of music since you were in college? Only buy shirts from one brand because they make things the way you like them? Chances are, you’re kind of uninteresting. A desire to never stray from the known shows a distaste for adventure or experimentation, thereby making you–and your life–terribly routine.
9. You’re bad at telling stories
If you have a tendency to digress from the point you’re making, focus too much on details that really don’t matter to anyone except you, and simply take too long to tell a story that doesn’t need that much time–you might just be the human equivalent of ‘this meeting could have been an email’.
10. You’re fixated on your perspective
If you believe you’re right, in a way that leaves no room for another person’s take on things, it is a marker of low emotional intelligence; which translates to being a boring person to talk to.
11. And lastly, you’re often bored
If you’re bored, you’re not interesting to anyone. Boredom is a state of mind; if you’re willing to provide excitement and energy, expecting it is also hypocritical.
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As an enthusiast well-versed in the nuances of human behavior and psychology, I'd like to dive into the intriguing realm of what makes people boring, drawing upon a study conducted by psychologists from the University of Essex, University of Limerick, and the London School of Economics. This study, originally published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, delves into the characteristics that contribute to perceived boredom in individuals.
The research involved the responses of 500 participants across five different studies, providing a robust foundation for insights into the traits that make someone seem dull. Business Insider magazine further enriched this exploration by crowd-sourcing answers on Quora, creating a comprehensive checklist for identifying whether one falls into the category of being perceived as boring.
Let's dissect the key concepts outlined in the article:
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Watching Too Much TV: The study suggests that participants considered certain hobbies, including watching TV, as among the most dull. This implies that excessive television consumption might contribute to perceptions of boredom.
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Lack of Contribution in Conversations: A major red flag for being perceived as boring is a lack of meaningful contribution to conversations. Simply echoing others' opinions without adding fresh perspectives or insights can signal what the article refers to as 'boring disease.'
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Excessive Talking or Silence: Both talking too much and too little can be perceived as boring. A balance in conversation is crucial, as excessive monologues or conversational deadweight (lack of contribution) may lead others to find you tedious.
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Negative Attitude: Constant negativity, characterized by victim mentality, scarcity mentality, or blaming mentality, can make one a drag to be around. It's important to avoid being excessively pessimistic or treating others as unpaid therapists.
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Lack of Social Awareness: Boring individuals may struggle to read social cues and body language, making it difficult for them to gauge whether others are genuinely enjoying their company.
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Inability to Elicit Laughter: Being funny is seen as the antithesis of being boring. If one consistently struggles to make others laugh, it could indicate that their communication lacks the spark of interest.
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Rigidity and Lack of Adventure: A strong aversion to change, reflected in habits, preferences, or routines, may contribute to a perception of being uninteresting. A resistance to experimentation and a desire to stick to the known can make one's life seem routine.
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Ineffectiveness in Storytelling: Difficulty in telling engaging and concise stories, marked by irrelevant details or prolonged narratives, can contribute to being perceived as boring.
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Fixation on Personal Perspective: A rigid belief in one's own perspective without room for others' views may indicate low emotional intelligence, making one less interesting to engage with in conversation.
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Personal Boredom: Perhaps the most straightforward point – if you're bored, you're likely not interesting to others. Boredom is a state of mind, and projecting excitement and energy is crucial for engaging interactions.
In conclusion, understanding and addressing these traits can be pivotal in avoiding the label of a boring person, fostering more dynamic and engaging social interactions.
