A Guide to Living with your Parents in your 20s (2024)

So, you’re a twenty-something-year-old living with your parents... It could be that you don’t have a job lined up after college, you need to save a bit more money, or you just need the stability to figure out a few things in your life.

The purpose of this guide is to help you reframe your way of thinking about living at home. Many feel like they're falling behind when it comes to living with their parents, but I’m here to say that it’s possible to continue on your journey of personal growth.

Just follow these 5 steps.

01. Make Some Goals

7 Areas of Goal-Setting

One of the best ways to create an abundant mindset is to motivate yourself with some goals. Think of many areas in your life, and dream, as if you were a little kid again:

• Health (eating habits, exercise, lifestyle)

• Relationships (family, romantic, work, friendships)

• Finances (income, budgeting, managing finances, debt, mindset)

• Career (work/life balance, skill set, advancements, making money)

• Self-care (self-awareness, introspective growth, healing)

• Home life (sustainability, organization, atmosphere)

• Extracurricular time (fun, vacations, hobbies, volunteering)

Struggling to Achieve Your Goals?

Now, after you’ve dreamt of all the things that you want to do, put a time-frame on it. Otherwise, you’ll allow all the time in the world to complete this task—creating a lack of urgency on taking the first steps.

If you’re still having some difficulties following through your goals take a step back and reassess.

(1) Maybe you’ve choosen too many goals? Pick one to start.

(2) You need a better why.

(3) Pair the goals with visualization.

It's important to clear the air with your parents that you’re not an 18 year old freshman who’s off to college anymore. You’re an educated adult (at least more than before)

Now that you have a list of goals that you want to accomplish, make sure you set some boundaries with your parents in order to achieve them.

Benefits of Setting Boundaries

• Boosting self-esteem

• Conserving emotional energy

• Increasing independence and agency

Why are Boundaries So Important?

Setting boundaries could be for things like personal space, emotions, thoughts, possessions, time & energy. The last thing you want is to have poor boundaries, leading to anger and burnout with your parents. A lack of boundaries will only create a draining environment.

Make sure your boundaries align with your opinions and values, not your parents. However—it is still their home, and it’s important to find the healthy balance between rigidness and looseness. In other words, prioritize being flexible with your boundaries so the relationship is strengthened, not threatened.

03. Don’t Stop Adulting

The main reason why people in their 20s move back home is for stability. Whether that’s financial or emotional stability, there is definitely a decrease in stressors when living with your parents.

Depending on how caring your parents are—they may cook dinner for you, plan your health appointments, even do your laundry. I encourage you to maintain your independence and give yourself some responsibilities. They may say “oh it’s not a problem” and even want to do it.

But you need to support your boundaries with actions. You can’t just say you want your parents to treat you as an adult but have your mother do all the adulting for you.

Here are just a few examples to continue adulting at home:

• Load and unload the dishwasher

• Do your own laundry

• Make dinner once a week

• Book your own health appointments

• Help your dad outside with yard work.

Now that you’ve set some goals, created boundaries, honoured them by maintaining your independence and responsibilities, now is the time to practice gratitude.

Many people in their twenties feel lost during the transition phase.“What career will I have?”or, “How will I be able to financially support myself?”

The issue, is they put too much pressure in figuring everything out in their lives. Stop comparing yourself to others who seem more put together than you. Social media lies all the damn time and comparison is truly the thief of joy.

Benefits of Gratitude

Research shows the easiest way to feel greater happiness is through gratitude. Some benefits include:

• Better physical and mental health.

• Increase mindfulness and positive emotions.

• Build stronger relationships.

• Ability to better cope with stressors

How can you Practice Gratitude?

How can you feel more gratitude? You could:

(1) Recite them as you meditate,

(2) Journal them down, or

(3) Tell them in person.

Many adults regret not spending more time with their parents. Ask them stories about their favourite memories, tips for learning new skills, life advice, and more. In turn, you may actually enjoy living with your parents!

05. Continue Taking Action

People in their 30s, 40s, 50s are always figuring out life. It’s not like you hit 25 and it all lands in your lap like “Ah! I know how to do everything now!” Nope. You need to actively participate in it.

Journaling

One of the best ways to prioritize personal growth is through journaling. Self-awareness opens the door to personal development. It’s not the reverse. There are hundreds of research-based prompts that promote a healthier lifestyle such as self-discovery, self-love, inner healing, and other ways to keep you on track with your goals.

Books & Podcasts

Another way to jump on the growth-mindset bandwagon is to further educate yourself. Read books on everything personal development: physically, spiritually, financially and emotionally. From there, find the role models who have mastered those areas and implement their techniques into your life.

I hope you realize by now that just because you’re living at home, does not mean that you’ve stunted your personal growth. Most likely, you now have MORE time on your hands to figure out your passions, hobbies, career options, and implement healthier habits into your life.

Try to get out of your comfort zone!

Go volunteering, find some new skills, and see what sticks!