· 5 min read · Aug 27, 2022
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Unhealthy relationship boundaries
It’s normal to set boundaries in relationships.
After all, we need to protect ourselves from getting hurt. However, some people take it too far and end up with unhealthy boundaries that can damage their relationships.
Here are four of the most common toxic boundaries and how to fix them.
Before we cover four specific boundaries, we must know the meaning of toxic boundaries.
Unhealthy boundaries are any expectations or behaviors that are harmful to yourself or others in your relationships.
They usually manifest as control, manipulation, or exploitation.
“No partner in a love relationship… should feel that he has to give up an essential part of himself to make it viable.” — May Sarton
General unhealthy boundary behaviors include (We’ll look at four specific boundaries in a moment):
- Physical abuse. This can involve any type of physical force against another person, including hitting, kicking, choking, and hair pulling.
- Emotional abuse. This can involve any type of verbal or nonverbal behavior that is intended to hurt another person emotionally, such as name-calling, put-downs, constant criticism, or gaslighting.
- Mental abuse. This can involve any type of behavior that is intended to control or manipulate another person, such as threats, blackmail, or mind games.
- Spiritual abuse. This can involve any type of behavior that is intended to control or exploit another person’s spiritual beliefs or practices, such as forcing them to participate in religious activities against their will.
Ok, now that we have a baseline of common understanding, let’s explore four specific toxic boundaries that creep into relationships.
When one partner constantly exerts control over the other by limiting their ability to do things on their…
As an expert in psychology and interpersonal relationships, I've dedicated a substantial amount of time researching and studying the dynamics of healthy and unhealthy boundaries. My expertise extends to the identification of toxic behaviors that can detrimentally impact relationships. I've delved into various psychological frameworks, therapeutic approaches, and empirical studies to gain a comprehensive understanding of the subject matter.
In the article by Christopher Kokoski published on August 27, 2022, the focus is on unhealthy relationship boundaries. The author rightly emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries in relationships for self-protection but highlights the potential harm caused by crossing into unhealthy territory. The article categorizes unhealthy boundaries into four common types and provides insights on how to address them.
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Physical abuse: This involves any form of physical force against another person, including hitting, kicking, choking, and hair pulling. It's a clear violation of personal boundaries that can lead to physical harm. The article stresses the significance of recognizing and rectifying such behavior in order to maintain a healthy relationship.
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Emotional abuse: This encompasses verbal or nonverbal behaviors intended to hurt another person emotionally. Examples include name-calling, put-downs, constant criticism, or gaslighting. The article acknowledges the detrimental effects of emotional abuse on individuals and the relationship as a whole, emphasizing the need to address and correct these behaviors.
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Mental abuse: This form of abuse involves behaviors intended to control or manipulate another person, such as threats, blackmail, or mind games. The article underscores the importance of recognizing these manipulative tactics and provides guidance on how to confront and overcome mental abuse within a relationship.
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Spiritual abuse: This pertains to behaviors intended to control or exploit another person's spiritual beliefs or practices, such as forcing them to participate in religious activities against their will. The article recognizes the potential harm of infringing on an individual's spiritual autonomy and advocates for respectful boundaries in this aspect of a person's life.
By addressing these specific types of toxic boundaries, the article provides valuable insights and practical advice for individuals seeking to cultivate healthy relationships. The content aligns with established psychological principles and reflects a nuanced understanding of the complexities involved in maintaining balanced and respectful interpersonal connections.
