Finding out that your child is raiding the pantry behind your back or secretly stockpiling goodies can be upsetting. Sure, you're concerned about the dishonesty—but you might also worry they're developing unhealthy behaviors around food.
The reasons for these behaviors can be as simple as being hungry and wanting easy access to the food they like. This may especially be true for kids in homes where there may not be enough food or they may not have access to the foods they want or like.
Then there are emotional reasons. Some kids start sneaking food because they fear they'll be judged for eating the foods they like. Or they may be eating to make themselves feel better. This can signal disordered eating. So, it's a good idea to discuss these issues with a physician or a mental health expert, especially if it becomes a pattern.
But what else should you do? Read on to learn how to respond if you catch your child sneaking food.
Stay Calm
Finding a candy store's worth of treats under the bed might freak you out, but don't let it show. The last thing you want is for your child to associate food and eating with feelings of shame. This is important because research has found that body shame and shame around eating are closely tied to eating disorders.
In addition, food should never be a source of punishment. For instance, try to avoid saying things like "If you don't clean your plate, then no dessert." Researchers have found a correlation between parental use of food as a reward and punishment and disordered eating in adulthood.
Instead, let your child know what you've found, that you don't want them to feel like they have to sneak food or eat in secrecy, and that you want to talk about it. Then, give your child a chance to speak honestly (without judgment or interruptions) about why they did it.
Plan for Treats
Some kids start sneaking food because they feel like they aren't getting what they want at home. Renowned feeding expert Ellyn Satter, MS, MSSW advocates for taking the power away from snack foods and sweets by incorporating them into regular meals and snacks.
One tactic she recommends is offering a serving of dessert along with dinner. She also suggests including your child's favorite treats, whether that's cookies or chips, in scheduled snack times.
Additionally, researchers have found that parents' own taste preferences, theories about self-control, and decisions about which foods to provide kids influence their kids' taste preferences. So, if you regularly provide access to healthy foods, like fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, your child may be more likely to choose a balanced approach to their foods. It's also important for you to model nutritious eating by eating these foods as well, especially during family meals.
Consider Your Food Attitudes
Some parents limit sweets or snack food in an effort to feed their kids the healthiest diet possible. But those good intentions can backfire if your child feels they aren't allowed to have what they want. In some older research, children who were restricted from eating certain foods wanted them even more—and ate more of them when given the chance.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Do you prohibit your child from eating specific foods?
- Do you strictly monitor portions of certain foods?
- Do you label some foods as "bad" or "unhealthy"?
If so, your child may be caught between wanting to please you and wanting to eat those forbidden foods.
Provide a Safe Space
Is your child sneaking food because they're worried their sibling will eat it all first? Sibling competition can be fierce for favorite items, including food, so be sure each kid knows they don't have to sneak or hide it to get their fair share.
Establishing a bag or container for each child may help. Also, perhaps a refresher about sharing and respecting other people's food may be in order.
