by Lisa Endlich Heffernan | June 12, 2021
Former Stanford dean and author,Julie Lythcott-Haims wrote an inspiring and thoughtful piece on what our 18-year-olds should be able to do on their own. It followed on the heels of her New York Timesbestseller,How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success.
For most teens, 18 is a huge milestone. It means the end of high school and the beginning of college or employment. I have seen three sons through the first year of college and know that it is a year of immense growth.
After a single year in college, or in the workplace, a large amount of adulting has taken place.With a nod to Julie, we take a look at what our kids should be able to do, on their own, a year after high school graduation.
What Every 19-Year-Old Should Be Able to Do
- Cover Letter — Write a cover letter and a resume and send an email or make a phone call inquiring about a job. They should be able to search online for job openings or seek out their college career guidance center.
- LinkedIn — Complete a LinkedIn profile and keep it updated. Parental help should consist of proofreading letters, resumes, and applications, not writing them.
- Living Arrangements — Look for a room or an apartment within budget and work out living arrangements and shared expenses in an equitable and mutually agreed upon manner with roommates. A 19-year-old should be able to negotiate roommate problems around privacy, money, and responsibilities as they arise.
- Communicate — Call home, without being reminded. Remember family members’ birthdays and other family occasions, without being reminded. Answer texts (within 2 hours) and emails (within 12 hours)…without being reminded.
- Health Insurance — Know how to fill a prescription and use a health insurance card.
- Medical Help — Be able to locate a health professional, emergency room, or walk-in clinic without needing step-by-step parental guidance.
- Health History — A 19-year-old should have some familiarity with their own health history and not need to have parents on speakerphone as they talk to their doctor. They should know what medications they are allergic to and the basic facts about their medical history.
- Prepare Job Interview — Prepare for a job interview by researching the company on both its website and social media.
- Conduct Job Interview — Someone who is nineteen should know how to conduct a job interview with talking points about their qualifications, a few questions to ask an employer, and some small talk to fill in the gaps in conversation.
- Family Relationships — Nurture family relationships with siblings, grandparents, and other family members without parents acting as a conduit. Social media makes staying connected to family so easy that parents should not need to remind their 19-year-olds.
- Grocery Shop — Understand how to grocery shop with an eye towards budget, nutrition, and meal planning. This may still be a work in progress but 19-year-olds living away from home need at least food rudimentary shopping and dinner prep skills.
- Paperwork — Deal with paperwork. One of the banes of adult existence is filling out forms, paying bills, and going to the DMV. Nineteen-year-olds are adults and they can handle paperwork if we let them.
- Manage Workload— Effectively plan out the remaining semesters of college such that the workload is manageable and graduation requirements are met.
- Follow Current Issues — Be able to speak knowledgeably about some of the major news issues of the day. If you are old enough to vote, it is essential to have an awareness of the issues.
- Travel — Make travel arrangements and know how to change them when necessary (and no, calling mom is not how to change them).
- Move — Be able to move into a new apartment with the help of friends or siblings without involving parents.
- Gifts — Know how to buy and deliver a gift for a family member or friend.
- Banking — Conduct their own banking including making deposits, withdrawals, and transfers as well as monitoring balances and paying bills on time.
- Take Care of Yourself — Know how to listen to their body’s need for sleep, nutritious foods, exercise, extra care when ill, and act like a grown-up who understands our bodies are strong but not invincible.
You Might Also Want to Read:
50 Things 18-Year-Olds Can Do (Who Knew?)
Here are the Legal DocumentsYou Need When Your Child Turns 18
Home / Articles / Young Adults / Adulting / 19 Things Every 19-Year-Old Needs to Be Able to Do
About Lisa Endlich Heffernan
Lisa (Endlich) Heffernan is the co-founder of Grown and Flown, the #1 site for parents of teens, college students and young adults, reaching millions of parents every month. Lisa is a New York Times bestselling author.
She started the Grown and Flown Parents Facebook Group and is co-author of Grown and Flown: How to Support Your Teen, Stay Close as a Family, and Raise Independent Adults (Flatiron Books) now in paperback.
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As a seasoned expert in the transition from adolescence to adulthood, with extensive knowledge in the field of parenting and preparing young individuals for independence, I have witnessed the multifaceted challenges and successes that come with this critical phase of life. My insights draw from a deep understanding of the principles outlined by renowned figures such as Julie Lythcott-Haims, whose work, including the New York Times bestseller "How to Raise an Adult," has significantly influenced the discourse on overparenting and fostering self-sufficiency.
Now, let's delve into the key concepts presented in the article titled "Adulting" by Lisa Endlich Heffernan, published on June 12, 2021:
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Cover Letter and Resume Writing:
- Expert Insight: Crafting a compelling cover letter and resume is an essential skill for young adults entering the workforce. It involves effectively communicating one's qualifications and expressing interest in a job position.
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LinkedIn Proficiency:
- Expert Insight: Maintaining and updating a LinkedIn profile is crucial for professional networking. This platform serves as a digital resume and networking tool for individuals navigating the professional world.
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Living Arrangements and Budgeting:
- Expert Insight: Securing suitable living arrangements within budget and negotiating shared expenses with roommates require financial literacy and interpersonal skills, essential aspects of adulting.
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Communication Skills:
- Expert Insight: Independent communication, including initiating calls, remembering family occasions, and responding to messages promptly, reflects a mature level of responsibility and connection to family.
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Health Management:
- Expert Insight: Understanding health insurance, filling prescriptions, and navigating healthcare facilities independently underscore a 19-year-old's self-sufficiency in managing their well-being.
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Job Interview Preparation and Conduct:
- Expert Insight: The ability to prepare for and conduct a job interview showcases professionalism and competence in navigating the job market.
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Family Relationships:
- Expert Insight: Nurturing family relationships without parental intervention, especially through social media, emphasizes the importance of maintaining connections while fostering independence.
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Grocery Shopping and Meal Planning:
- Expert Insight: Basic skills in grocery shopping, considering budget, nutrition, and meal planning, contribute to a young adult's ability to sustain themselves independently.
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Paperwork Management:
- Expert Insight: Handling paperwork, including forms, bills, and administrative tasks, is a fundamental aspect of adulting that empowers individuals to navigate bureaucratic responsibilities.
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Workload Management:
- Expert Insight: Effectively planning academic responsibilities demonstrates organizational skills and the ability to manage the workload associated with college or other pursuits.
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Current Affairs Awareness:
- Expert Insight: Staying informed and being able to discuss major news issues showcases a level of awareness and engagement with the broader world.
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Travel Arrangements:
- Expert Insight: Making and modifying travel plans independently highlights a 19-year-old's capability to navigate logistical aspects of adult life without relying on parental guidance.
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Moving and Gifts:
- Expert Insight: Moving into a new apartment with minimal parental involvement and the ability to buy and deliver thoughtful gifts showcase practical life skills.
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Banking and Financial Management:
- Expert Insight: Handling personal banking, including transactions, bill payments, and balance monitoring, reflects financial responsibility and independence.
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Self-Care Practices:
- Expert Insight: Being attuned to one's physical and mental well-being, including sleep, nutrition, and exercise, demonstrates a mature understanding of personal health and self-care.
By comprehensively addressing these concepts, young adults can navigate the challenges of adulting with confidence and competence, paving the way for a successful transition to independence.
