14 Things You Don't Understand About Parenthood Until You Have Kids (2024)

Updated on 10/15/2015 at 10:46 AM

14 Things You Don't Understand About Parenthood Until You Have Kids (1)

Regardless of how much advice you get from friends and family, how many books and blogs you read, and how ready you think you are, there's nothing that can truly prepare you for the emotional, physical, all-encompassing plunge that is parenthood. Some of it hits you immediately, and the rest reveals itself throughout the years. It's the journey of a lifetime, so sit back (at least every now and then), and enjoy the ride!

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The phrase "sleep like a baby" is the biggest oxymoron of all time.

They may sleep frequently, but those 40-minute increments sure don't feel like the kind of sleep that you're accustomed to.

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You will want to protect these little people more than anything else in the world.

It's tough to explain, but it's true.

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They'll get hurt all the time.

Learning to navigate the world is no easy task, and it's not without its bumps and bruises.

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Even really good kids can be really bad sometimes.

Same goes for grown-ups, so cut them some slack.

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Their personalities will surprise (and hopefully delight) you.

You have absolutely no way of knowing what you're going to get.

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You will feel a sense of pride that you've never felt before.

It's impossible to explain to someone without kids.

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It's impossible to reason with a toddler.

You'll try. You'll fail. It's OK.

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Their stuff will overtake your home.

You can't stop the chaos. You can only attempt to control it.

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Even when you're "on vacation," you're never really on vacation.

Even if you're lucky enough to find someone to give you a break for a night (or a weekend, or a week . . . ), the ultimate responsibility is still on you, always.

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No matter what you say, your relationship with your partner will change.

But that's not always a bad thing.

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Seeing the world through their eyes will become one of your favorite things about being a parent.

Grown-ups can be so jaded!

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Having a phone conversation will be more difficult than you ever imagined.

Grab those moments when you can.

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You have completely underestimated the importance of the word "nap time" for your entire life.

Those minutes (and hopefully hours) are absolutely critical — for everyone involved.

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The bond will be like nothing you've ever experienced before.

It's not a cliché, it's the truth.

14 Things You Don't Understand About Parenthood Until You Have Kids (2024)

FAQs

What does Galinsky say about parenthood? ›

Parenthood is an experience that transforms one's identity as one takes on new roles. Children's growth and development force parents to change their roles. They must develop new skills and abilities in response to children's development.

What is the biggest challenge of parenthood? ›

Challenges faced by new parents
  • Exhaustion while adapting to a demanding sleep/feed schedule.
  • Physical demands of breastfeeding – pain associated with latching-on, cracked nipples and mastitis.
  • Recovery from birth whilst caring for a newborn.
  • The demands of running a household while managing your own and baby's needs.

What is the most difficult part of parenthood? ›

During your child's pre-adolescent and adolescent years, you are constantly confronted with the challenge of letting go. This is especially difficult if your kid seems to need to learn things the hard way. A natural part of adolescence is risk-taking — which often results in rule-breaking and inappropriate behavior.

What to consider before having kids? ›

Look at your social support system and decide if it is in-line with you having a child, i.e., job/career, economic issues, child care options, your activities and what you are willing to give up, extended family support. Look at your relationships – are they conducive to you having a child?

What is the paradox of parenthood? ›

Questions like, “What if my child gets hurt and I'm not around?” or “How can I trust them to make good choices?” Fear can really cause us to overcompensate with a desire to protect. This is perhaps the greatest paradox of parenting.

What are the struggles of parenthood? ›

As most parents agree, taking care of a child and his or her many, many needs can be physically and emotionally exhausting. Everyday stresses, such as getting kids ready for school, working from home or running extra errands, can make parenting more difficult.

How many people regret parenthood? ›

About one in 12 parents say they regret having children, according to a 2021 YouGov UK study. Studies in the past yielded similar results in Germany, Poland, and the US.

Does parenthood change people? ›

Ask any mom and she'll likely tell you that the person she is today is a far cry from who she was before she welcomed a little one into the world. Parenthood changes you in so many ways—priorities shift, new stressors emerge and you quickly learn how to function on a lot less sleep than you were used to pre-baby.

How does parenthood affect a person's life? ›

It can help individuals become more responsible, patient, and empathetic . Relationships: Parenthood can strengthen relationships, not just between the parents and the child, but also between the parents themselves. It can bring couples closer together as they navigate the challenges and joys of raising a child .

What is hardest age to parent? ›

Research shows that some people find it hardest to parent children in their middle school years. Puberty and peer pressure can leave these teens feeling angry, alone, and confused, which can cause bad behavior and disagreements.

What is the harshest parenting style? ›

Authoritarian parenting is often characterized by: strict enforcement of rules. emotional unavailability. one-way communication.

Why is parenthood so exhausting? ›

As a parent, you tend to focus on the needs of your children. Many parents put so much of their time and energy into their children that they neglect their own needs. The result is parental burnout, a condition in which you're so exhausted that you feel you have nothing left to give.

What age is best to have a baby? ›

A woman's peak reproductive years are between the late teens and late 20s. By age 30, fertility (the ability to get pregnant) starts to decline. This decline happens faster once you reach your mid-30s.

Is 35 too old to have a baby? ›

After age 35, there's a higher risk of pregnancy-related complications that might lead to a C-section delivery. The risk of chromosomal conditions is higher. Babies born to older mothers have a higher risk of certain chromosomal conditions, such as Down syndrome. The risk of pregnancy loss is higher.

What age is better to have a baby? ›

Experts say the best time to get pregnant is between your late 20s and early 30s. This age range is associated with the best outcomes for both you and your baby. One study pinpointed the ideal age to give birth to a first child as 30.5. Your age is just one factor that should go into your decision to get pregnant.

What did Erikson believe about parenting? ›

As a parent, Erikson believed you play an important role in your child's mastery of these challenges. He believed that the first stage trust vs mistrust was the most important period in a person's life because it shapes one's view of the world.

What is a quote about parenthood? ›

"There is no such thing as a perfect parent, so just be a real one." - Sue Atkins. We love this new parent quote. There is so much information and advice out there about parenting styles, what to do, what not to do... don't strive perfection as it is impossible. Just focus on being authentic, kind and true to yourself.

What does good parenting encourage according to Dr Steinberg? ›

Good parenting helps foster empathy, honesty, self-reliance, self-control, kindness, cooperation, and cheerfulness, says Steinberg. It also promotes intellectual curiosity, motivation, and desire to achieve.

What is the theory of good enough parenting? ›

Good-enough parenting is based on the understanding that parents are responsive, adapt to their child's needs and show empathy. In fact, the concept of good-enough parenting is sometimes used by professionals to support parents in helping them meet their children's needs.

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