10 money rules all couples should know - MediaFeed (2024)

How you manage money as a couple depends on factors such as your commitment level, financial history, and goals. While managing money together as a couple is a good idea, don’t do it unless you’re committed to stay together in the future, as unraveling financial lives can be complicated. Understand the risks of cosigning debt and buying property together. And always turn to a financial professional when needed.

Being a new couple includes many “firsts,” including managing money together or evenopens in a new windowbuying a home. From deciding whether to open a joint bank account or knowing if you should cosign a mortgage, these critical life events can make or break your romance. This post will cover ten money rules every first-time couple should follow.

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1. Manage money together only when your relationship is long-term

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In general, I recommend managing money as a couple. However, Idon’t recommend it unless you’re 100% committed and plan on staying together forever. That’s because if you break up, unraveling your financial lives can be complicated.

For example, having a joint bank account means that both parties own it and can access the funds. You and your partner can spend or withdraw any amount of your balance at any time.Being co-signers on loans and credit cards means that if one person decides not to pay their fair share, the other owner is on the hook for the entire debt—not just half of what’s owed.

The bottom line is that if you’re uncertain how long your relationship will last or have concerns about merging money with someone else, please don’t do it!

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2. Know your financial history

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A huge part of a successful relationship is building and maintaining a foundation of trust, which includes knowing the details of each other’s financial histories, such as how much debt you owe and your credit ratings.

The good news is that even if your partner hasopens in a new windowbad credit, it doesn’t hurt yours. However, it could make it more challenging to qualify for a joint credit account, such as a credit card, auto loan, or mortgage.

Reviewing your credit reports for free atopens in a new windowAnnualcreditreport.comis a great place to start if you’re not sure what your history is.

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3. Create financial goals together

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Talk about what you want to achieve over the next few years and the long term, such as your ideas about retirement. It’s better to know sooner rather than later if you have vast differences of opinion.For instance, if your priority is to live frugally to build a sizable retirement nest egg, but your partner is a free-wheeling spender, your financial philosophies may be too far apart.

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4. Set a joint spending plan

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Once you know your financial histories and discuss goals, consider how you’ll handle expenses as a couple. While splitting everything 50/50 may seem like a good strategy, it may not work if one person earns much less than the other.

In that case, you might divide costs by percentages to make things fairer. For example, if your partner earns 35% of the total household income and you make 65%, you could pay 65% of the household expenses.

However, if you go all in and merge your finances as a couple, you won’t have to worry about dividing expenses. Instead, you’ll pay bills from a joint account. However, as I keep mentioning, that’s a big step unless you’re in a 100% committed relationship.

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5. Communicate about money regularly

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Even if your financial goals as a couple are aligned, a key to long-term success is communicating regularly. Fortunately, my husband and I share the same views when it comes to our money and lives. However, that doesn’t mean we didn’t have our share of disagreements in the early days that we had to resolve. My advice is to be open-minded about changing strategies and setting new guidelines if the way you manage money as a couple isn’t working.

Unfortunately, many couples talk about money only after problems arise, which is the wrong approach. Instead, set a time each week or month to chat about your budget, debt, income, and plans for the future. That will help you iron out any wrinkles in your relationship and improve your financial wellbeing.

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6. Understand the risks of cosigning debt

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When you cosign a credit account, such as a credit card, auto loan, or mortgage, you assume equal responsibility for it, and the payment history will appear on both of your credit reports. That means you can both build credit if the payments get made on time.

But if one person in a couple fails to pay a cosigned credit account on time, it hurts both of your credit scores. Plus, you’re both legally responsible for the entire debt, no matter who spent the money. So, if you are in a committed relationship and decide to cosign a credit account, be sure payments never fall through the cracks.

If your partner has poor credit, cosigning a credit card or loan is one way to help them build or improve it. Another option is to add them to a credit card as anopens in a new windowauthorized user. That allows the partner to make purchases, but they won’t be legally responsible for the debt. In general, the card’s payment history gets reported to both the authorized user’s and the card owner’s credit reports.

However, as I mentioned, I only recommend combining your credit accounts if you’re in a solid, committed relationship built on trust. Otherwise, you could end up with a large amount of credit card debt if an authorized user abuses your card.

Also, note that if you decide to apply for a joint credit card with a partner and already have cards in your name, you don’t need to close them. InWhat to Know Before You Cancel a Credit Card, I cover multiple reasons why closing cards can hurt your credit.

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7. Be clear about the pros and cons of buying a home

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An increasing number of unmarried couples and partners areopens in a new windowbuying real estate. It may be more affordable to team up and buy a home or an investment property in some cases. You can use an onlineopens in a new windowmortgage calculatorto help crunch the numbers. However, buying real estate with someone else can damage your finances and relationship if you’re not careful.

When you buy property, you receive a document called a deed, which shows the owners’ names and how you legally own the property. If you’re not married, you have the following options:

  • Tenants in Commongives each person a share of the property, such as 50/50 or 75/25. When one tenant in common dies, their share goes to their heirs—not to the other owner(s). And each owner can sell or give away their interest in the property.

  • Joint Tenants with Right of Survivorshipgives each person the right to own the property when the other owner(s) dies. So, their interest automatically passes to the survivor, not to their heirs.

Although married couples can own property as tenants in common or joint tenants, they have another option:

  • Tenancy by the Entiretyallows spouses to own property together as a single legal entity. It protects each person because a creditor of one spouse can’t attach and sell the interest of the property that the other spouse owns. And when one spouse dies, their interest passes to the surviving spouse, just like joint tenant ownership.

You’ll also need to decide how to finance a home as a couple. Do you have equal amounts of money for the down payment? And do you each want to be on the hook for a mortgage? Each mortgage applicant must show ample income, job history, andcredit scoresto get approved.

If one partner has low income oropens in a new windowpoor credit, the other could be the sole mortgage applicant.Just remember that you’re not legally responsible for repayment unless your name is on a mortgage. Being named on the deed indicates ownership, but that isn’t the same as having financial responsibility for a mortgage on the property.

In the excitement of buying a home, don’t forget that you’re making a considerable investment, and a financial or legal mistake could jeopardize your entire financial future. So, it’s wise to get advice and even create a formal ownership agreement outlining every potential issue you can think of.

For instance, what happens if you disagree on managing the property or if one person has a financial hardship and wants to sell out? What if your romantic relationship turns sour and you break up?These are the kinds of issues that need to get worked out before you commit to buying real estate as a couple.

Don’t assume that you’ll talk through any future disagreements when the time comes because your relationship could be different in the future.

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8. Use good financial tools

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Whether you decide to merge money as a couple or not, it’s essential to use good financial tools. They certainly make managing your finances as easy as possible, and some tools are even free.

Suppose you and your partner have your own financial accounts. In that case, you can assign expenses you want to split—such as a mortgage, rent, insurance, groceries, and utilities—to a separate account named “joint expenses.” That way, you can see how much you owe and settle up each month.

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9. Know the spousal IRA rules

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Saving for retirement is vital to a secure financial future, but what if one person in a couple isn’t working? Typically, if you’re unmarried and don’t have income, you’re not eligible to contribute to a tax-advantaged retirement account.

However, if you tie the knot, married couples filing taxes jointly qualify for aopens in a new windowspousal IRA. It allows a working spouse to make a maximum contribution to an IRA for a non-working spouse.

For 2021, if both spouses are under age 50 and have a household income of at least $12,000, you can each contribute up to $6,000 to your own IRAs. If you’re over 50, the maximum contribution increases to $7,000.

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10. Get help from a financial professional when needed

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Even if managing money is a breeze for you and your partner, it’s often wise to get help from a financial pro, such as aopens in a new windowfinancial advisor, retirement planner, tax accountant, or estate attorney.

Yes, professionals cost money; however, getting good advice for retirement planning or navigating financial challenges can really pay off. You might consult with a financial pro once or work together over the long term to meet your financial goals as a couple.

This article originally appeared on QuickandDirtyTips.comand was syndicated by MediaFeed.org.

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FAQs

Should everything be 50 50 in a relationship? ›

One of the most important lessons I've learned about relationships of all kinds, but romantic ones in particular, is that they are never 50/50. That applies whether it's splitting money 50/50, household work, or emotional labor. Thinking you can split everything right down the middle with your partner is a nice idea.

Are married people entitled to each other's money? ›

In community property states, money earned by the spouses during marriage and all property bought with those earnings are generally considered community property. Likewise, spouses are equally responsible for debts incurred during marriage.

What is financial infidelity in a marriage? ›

Financial infidelity occurs when one partner hides or misrepresents financial information from the other, such as keeping secret bank accounts or hiding purchases. It does not necessarily involve marital infidelity, though it can lead to divorce.

Should husband and wife split bills? ›

There isn't any right or wrong way to split bills. It's all about open communication and what's important to each person. It's perfectly normal to split any bill, whether an electricity bill or a dinner bill — but you don't have to split every bill every time.

What is the 5 1 relationship rule? ›

This means that for every negative interaction during conflict, a stable and happy marriage has five (or more) positive interactions. That “magic ratio” is 5 to 1. This means that for every negative interaction during conflict, a stable and happy marriage has five (or more) positive interactions.

What is the 100 rule in relationships? ›

The 100/0 principle is a concept developed by Al Ritter, author of the book, The 100/0 Principle: The Secret of Great Relationships. The idea is straightforward but effective. It entails giving 100% to relationships without anticipating anything in return, as represented by the zero.

Should a husband support his wife financially? ›

a person has a responsibility to financially assist their spouse or former de-facto partner, if that person cannot meet their own reasonable expenses from their personal income or assets. Where the need exists, both parties have an equal duty to support and maintain each other as far as they can.

What does the Bible say about joint bank accounts? ›

Let's go back to the question of separate or joint bank accounts. The Bible doesn't tell us whether spouses should share one account, because people didn't have bank accounts back then.

Should a husband give his wife spending money even if she works? ›

It may also depend on how much she actually earns and where she spends her earnings on. If your wife is working, then in most cases, it is expected that she will contribute to family expenses. If her income is not that high, then husband may choose to provide extra spending money.

What is micro cheating in a relationship? ›

The term micro-cheating refers to small breaches of trust in a relationship that don't pass the threshold into a physical affair. For example, someone may leave their wedding ring at home when they go out alone or secretly chat with an ex-partner online.

What does the Bible say about financial infidelity? ›

Ephesians 4:15 (NIV) encourages us to "Speak the truth in love." This is not always easy, but your spouse must know that you know. You must confront them about their actions. Express your feelings and concerns about the financial deception.

How can a wife protect herself financially? ›

How Do I Protect Myself Financially From My Spouse During a...
  1. Create a Financial Plan for Your Divorce. ...
  2. Open Your Own Bank Account. ...
  3. Separate Your Debt. ...
  4. Monitor Your Credit Score. ...
  5. Take an Inventory of Your Assets. ...
  6. Review Your Retirement Accounts. ...
  7. Consider Mediation Before Litigation. ...
  8. Popular Family Law Articles.
Aug 9, 2023

Who should pay all the bills in a marriage? ›

'Seriously consider' splitting bills by income

“I advise young couples to seriously consider splitting the household bills according to income and then revisiting it every year as incomes change,” said certified financial planner Cathy Curtis, founder and CEO of Curtis Financial Planning in Oakland, California.

Should I pay my husbands bills? ›

If you live in what's considered a “community property state,” the debt of either partner could be regarded as a shared marital responsibility, and as a spouse you'd be responsible for repayment.

Who pays for dinner in a relationship? ›

Contemporary research, popular culture and conversations I had with more than a dozen young Americans suggest that a longstanding norm still holds true: Men tend to foot the bill more than women do on dates. And there seems to be an expectation that they should.

How should bills be split in a relationship? ›

Make a list of all your combined expenses: housing, taxes, insurance, utilities. Then talk salary. If you make $60,000 and your partner makes $40,000, then you should pay 60 percent of that total toward the shared expenses and your partner 40 percent.

What is the rule of 5 in a relationship? ›

According to relationship researcher John Gottman, the magic ratio is 5 to 1. What does this mean? This means that for every one negative feeling or interaction between partners, there must be five positive feelings or interactions. Stable and happy couples share more positive feelings and actions than negative ones.

Why does my boyfriend want to split everything? ›

He may be keeping his wealth a secret for fear that you'd take advantage of him, which may be why he insists on keeping everything at a 50/50 split. Or he could just be cheap. But whatever the reason, you both need to get on the same page before you continue to get more serious about your relationship.

Are relationships supposed to be equal? ›

Equality in relationships goes beyond just the absence of discrimination or bias. It encompasses the idea of fairness, mutual respect, and shared power dynamics. When both partners actively work towards building and sustaining equal relationships, it creates a strong foundation for long-lasting love and happiness.

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